Post # 1
So some background:
My MOH is my best friend since high school. Pretty much we haven’t lived in the same city since the year after we gradded. We lived together for a couple years, but other than that hours away. We’ve always had a great relationship even when we don’t talk for a while.
So it was the obvious choice to choose her. I also have 3 BM’s. Now I live in one province and they all live in another. Although they are in the same province none of them are in the same city.
So not too long after getting engaged my MOH suggested that she come out here this spring to visit/do wedding things. So at first we were thinking around Easter and now that isn’t going to work. Two of my BM’s came out for a weekend and we went dress shopping. We picked out a dress that weekend. I emailed everyone and ordered it. Two weeks later my MOH says how she doesn’t think she’ll look good in it. Well, too late now, and my mom is paying and I wanted them all to wear the same. I don’t care if she never wears it again.
Now I talked to her not too long ago about coming out and she said that in the next couple days she would know if she had the days off. Then I didn’t hear. I emailed her and just let her know that I wanted to know what was going on but haven’t heard back.
I think money is really tight for her and her SO right now and this may be why she won’t book a trip. I’m just frustrated that she won’t say anything and I don’t know how to bring it up to her without making her feel bad or anything.
I’d rather her be able to come out to the wedding than come here for a weekend of crafts.
Sorry this is rather long, but I needed someone to talk to.
Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
Oh no! I’m sure that’s frustrating. It sounds like she is just struggling between having financial issues and wanting to be the best MOH possible and is ashamed to admit she’s having issues? I hope everything works out!
Post # 4
Why not phone her up and have a talk? Tell her that you know that travel is expensive and you would rather have her at the wedding than come out this spring. Everyone knows that airfares have gone up with the increasing price of oil and you do not want this to be a burden to her.
Make a plan ahead of the phone call of things she can do to help out- research on the net?
Post # 5
@julies1949: She’s done lots of research and some calls for me. I think I will have to call her, I just don’t want her to think I don’t want her to come!
Guess I just have to talk to her, but just needed to get it out as if I didn’t I would end up stressing, which I don’t need, already enough with planning things long distance.
Post # 6
girl, give her a call… the land of “what ifs” is enough to drive anyone crazy!
I am sure she will be happy to know that no matter what you still want her there as your MOH. Perhaps she just feels guillty because she can’t do more. Maybe she feels left out because the dresses were picked without her? I think I would probably feel that way. So, even though it was unintentional, perhaps she is hurt:( I am not saying you owe her an apology, or you did anything wrong, I’m just trying to understand the situation and give an objective point of view.
so call her… and then let us know whats up:) I am sure it will all work out, especially since you have been friends for so long.