Just a little timeline freak out.. no biggie!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
4030 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Brickette:  First, breathe. Have you brought up the subject of getting married with your SO recently to see if this timeline has possibly changed. You can do so in a subtle manner and kind of laugh it off “Ha…remember when you said you wanted this, this, and this by the time your 32? Less than two years to go lol” and then see what he says. Or you could just point blank ask him. If I may ask, what’s preventing you guys from getting engaged? Not ready yet, finances, etc?

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Brickette:  I know you’re excited but timelines change. Try just focusing on the engagement portion right now. You do not have to cram all that into the next year and 255 days honestly. Things change. Plans change. People change. I would freak out if I had a set number of days to get some huge life milestones “completed” too. Work on one thing at a time. Talk to him about the engagement and go from there.

Post # 5
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I honestly woudn’t worry about his timeline. Concentrate on getting engaged/married first. You have to live your life and not your timeline.

 

Deep breaths

Post # 6
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why do you need so much time for a proper engagment? My FI and I got engaged on March 30th of this year and the wedding is October 10th of this year. I don’t understand the need for a long time inbetween? Why waste time? Just get it done if he is all for it!

Post # 7
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Initially I thought whoa girl settle down, until I saw that you guys have been together 7.5 years.  I think after 7.5 years, I would be a little antsy to.  I don’t understand it myself, but guys function on a different level than we do when it comes to this.  I personally don’t plan on having a long engagement because we are eloping and don’t want to deal with the drama of a wedding. 1 year and 225 is plenty of time to enjoy your engagement and plan your wedding, but I do agree that is not a lot of time to get engaged, plan, get married, enjoy being newlyweds for a bit AND get pregnant.  It CAN be done obviously, but yes it would be rushed especally since he hasn’t popped the question yet.  

I totally sympathize but I have realized than once a man has a plan in mind, they generally don’t deviate from that plan.  Yeah it sucks, but so you both want to get what you want, you may need to extend your timeline for a wedding and a child.

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Brickette: Why do you need time to save? Why not start saving now, in anticipation of needing to be financially ready to have to a wedding followed by a child shortly? 

One of the other bees shared that her FI started saving for a ring for the right woman before they even met. My FI and I started saving for our wedding as soon as we moved in together. You don’t need a ring to start saving. Knowing where your finances stand will make it easier to plan and get married in short order as well. 

Post # 9
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Brickette:  So if your app says that you have almost 2 years until his 32nd birthday, he’s 30, right?

When did he say he wanted to do all these things by the time he’s 32?  Was it when you two first got together?  I really wish I could read his mind and figure out what he’s thinking for you!

Do you two live together?  Maybe he’s gotten too content and doesn’t feel he needs to change things because he’s comfortable?

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I would just start saving money now. You don’t need to be engaged to start saving for your future. 

Post # 12
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Brickette: I wish my FI’s boss would say the same to him, re: old dad! We actually have the opposite. We’re in our early 30’s, but both of our career stakeholders want a bit more time — no babies yet! Is what we both hear. 

Post # 13
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Can I ask why getting married in Vegas is a “need” ?

Sounds like you could get married and pregnant by his 32nd bday if you didnt get married on literally the farthest corner of the earth from you!

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