Just a little vent before the wedding… [very long]

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Yikes.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best.  Try not to let it bother you, one its their own fault and two they are the ones that will look bad. 

Its unfortunate that they finally came to their senses and decided to come last minute, maybe they really now do want to be a part of it?  That being said, from the get go you should have just stood your ground and stated that with them letting you know last minute that they were coming there is no way to oragnize and find a way to incldue them but that you are gald they decided to come, but since yuo already stated that you would let them be a part of it, you’ve kind of opened the door to pushing their way in.  Stand your ground.  Say you will try to find a way to make it work but if not, you are still very grateful for them deciding to share this special day with you.  Really reiterate that had they decided sooner that they wanted to be a part of your day you would have been able to keep them up to date on what was happeneing. (Puts the blame on them…)

Also be prepared to face the facts that some in laws are just jerks!!!

God I’m so thankful that my FILs are pretty great and both our families get along so well!

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Horrible! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this nonsense!

I’d write back very clearly:

Your repeated message to us has been that you (plural) were NOT attending the wedding. We were working under that assumption. We could not give you earlier information. Now that you have told us you are attending, we have passed on the information. As I’ve said before, you are under no obligation to do anything that is inconvenient. Thank you.

What assholes.

Post # 6
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would kill it with kindess at this point (like you seem to be doing)  Every time they get mad, don’t rise to that level.  I think after a while it will make YOU feel good, and that is what really counts. 

“I’m so excited that you are coming to the wedding.  We really want FPIL to feel like they are included, even at the last minute.  If they don’t want to be apart of the processional, they can just be seated.  I will leave it up to them how involved or not involved they want to be.  Just glad you can make it.”

Post # 7
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If they don’t show up for photos…. oh well!!
A friend’s mom was purposley late for family photos, and I believe she missed out! HER FAULT.

Stop catering to these guys! The have the optin to attend, they are ADULTS and do not need their hands held!

I would just send an email like @prahajess: said, and then STOP CONTACTING THEM. Don’t pick up the phone, block texts and emails, everything.
If they show up: fine; if they don’t: fine.

They are trying to rule/ruin your wedding with their requests and guilt trips, and by engaging them you are encouraging it!

Post # 9
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

As a MOB I would just like to give you a piece of advice here and I hope you grasp it with both hands.

NOTHING can ruin your wedding unless YOU CHOOSE to give up emotional control and let it happen.  You can have a wonderful wedding day regardless of their actions if YOU CHOOSE to do so.

If they start yelling, have them escorted out.  You guys have gone above and beyond to the point of going too far.

It is in your hands Red – are you going to CHOOSE to maintain control over your reactions to them and have a wonderful wedding OR are you going to CHOOSE to let go of your emotions and let them win the war?

Please know that I mean this very, very lovingly and I have followed your posts for quite some time.  Take control, stay in control, and have a great wedding day!

OH – and have someone on hand who can escort them out at a moment’s notice if it becomes necessary!

Post # 11
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Can’t wait to hear how it goes.  Pictures please!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors