Just a Vent…..My friend's sex offender boyfriend.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

One day, your friend will wake up and realize this guy is no good for her. Until then, just continue to be a good friend to her. She will need a shoulder to lean on eventually.

Post # 4
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

While I’m not on anyone’s side here, I just wanted to say that it doesn’t take a lot to get on a sex offender list.  I worked at a criminal defense law firm for many years and saw some good people be thrown on that list for what I considered “small things”.

Someone got too intoxicated at night, pulled over their car and started urinating in public.  It so happened to be a school that was next to a playground that a woman was at with her toddler.   BAM.  Sex offender list for “indecent exposure to a minor”.

Someone responded to an ad on Craigslist advertising for a massage at a hotel.  He showed up to a prostitution sting.  BAM.  Sex offender list.

Someone streaking on Halloween, makes a wrong turn through a neighborhood and there are trick or treaters.  BAM.  Sex offender list.

 

Post # 5
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

The guy did his time, leave him alone. He’s allowed to have a life after jail. So what? He’s a lousy boyfriend. That’s not a crime.

Post # 6
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@CorvusCorax:  You really think that people that commit sex crimes, like rape, or pedophilia, should be free and clear, and not have to be on a publicregistry, when they leave prison?!? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. People have a right to know who the f**k is living in their neighbourhood if they are a dangerous offender.
Prison doesn’t change people for the better, hardly every. And it certainly doesn’t cure people of their urges to rape and molest women or children. Give your head a shake!

Post # 7
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@KateByDesign:  +1. THIS.

Sometimes things aren’t exactly what you think they are.

I know a very nice gentlemen who served 25 years in jail, he is the sweetest guy ever. He originally got put into jail because he “robbed” a taxi. He got a call that his father was in the hospital and was dying, he didn’t have any money to travel to his father, so he got in a taxi and pulled a gun on him. Obviously, it wasn’t the right idea to do, but he didn’t feel he had a choice. He got 5 years for armed robbery, while in prison, a few other inmates were terrorizing him, [basically because he didn’t do anything horrible, so he didn’t fit in], one of the fights they got into, he killed his attacker, and got another 20 years.

I’ve known him for 3 years now – he’s married and his wife has nothing but good things to say about him. We took a chance and employed him at my company, and although we were skeptical, we have alot of faith in him. He is one of the most hard working individuals we’ve ever seen.

 

In all honesty, it sounds like your friend was OKAY with him spanking her, almost as if she was provoking it [you did say she was flirting]. I’ve known ALOT of guys who have done thing sort of thing at work, given that their co workers were flirting with them.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh my gosh, just looked this up! Tier 3 sex offenders are the HIGHEST TIER. I’m pretty sure you don’t get on that tier for something like urinating in public or slapping someone’s ass. “The definition is “a person who engages in penetration, however  slight, of the genitals or anus of a complainant with a part of the person’s  body for any purpose…..”   without the person’s consent, or with a minor.” To me, that sounds like rape. I would seriously look into that if I were the friend and have some confirmation of his story. This guy sounds like a total creep. Even if he hadn’t already been arrested for who knows what the things he has done since he has left jail would totally rub me the wrong way too. I wonder if you could find out more from the ex wife?
Obviously, he isn’t someone that you or I would date, but if your friend is totally cool with dating a complete pervert (which if they have been together that long she seems to be) I don’t know that there is much you can do other than avoid him as much as possible. I am sure this will create many issues in the future if they ever have kids as there are alot of rules about sex offenders and being around children.

Post # 10
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Baroness_Meg:  Yes, I honestly do believe that Megan’s Law flies in the face of civil liberties and the constitution.

But I edited that part because I realized that this situation has nothing to do with the offender registry.

@almostwebbee:  Warn your friend all you want, but she needs to decide on her own if she’s going to leave him. If you keep warning her and trying to protect her, she’ll feel badgered by you. You should let this one go.

Post # 12
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@jenilynevette:  Umm, it sounds like that is exactly as it seems. the man held up a taxi at gunpoint? Sorry, that is robbing a taxi whatever his reasons for doing it. If my relative was dying so I robbed a bank at gun point to give them money I’d still be a bank robber. Then he murdered someone in jail? I know it’s maybe easy to overlook things when you care about someone, he may be a very nice man, but this person clearly did the crime they were jailed for, it wasn’t like some mistake where it was really someone else or something. I have seen cases where someone was a registered sex offender for something that I thought was stupid, like an eighteen year old being with a consenting sixteen year old, but those kind of offenders don’t really get put on tier 3 do they?

Post # 16
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@BriansBride:  I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to do the time. I’m saying what he did was WRONG, and he knows that. He did his time. As for the murder, it was really kill or be killed. If someone attacked you with a knife and didn’t stop, would you just sit there and take it? Somehow I seriously doubt it.

What I am saying is that he did his time, he’s out and he’s trying to live his life the best he can. His past will always be behind him, and people are welcome to know what he did, he never lies to anyone about it, he tells them the truth.

My point is that sometimes people DO change, it’s not often that someone who’s done changes, but it still happens.

 

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