- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
FH and I have been planning our wedding for a little over a year now. We would have been set to marry THIS year but we got engaged just after FH’s oldest brother got engaged and we were asked/forced to hold off on our plans since his brother chose a wedding date that is smack dab in the middle of the year causing an uproar with out of state family. Understandable since I wouldn’t want to make 2 trips out of state for 2 different weddings either. Aside from the fact that Future Mother-In-Law pretty much threatened us to not steal their thunder. Again, I completely understood the reasoning.
So FH and I were forced to keep our plans on the down-low and deal with it.
Well, now FH and I are planning our wedding full force. Our date is set, we’ve booked the photographer, I purchased my dress, we are signed up for all the pre-wedding classes (catholic wedding), we are already speaking to our future DJ, we know where we are going to get our flowers, favors… Pretty much everything but the cake and my hair and make-up for the day of. We also have our std’s and invitations designed and pre-ordered through the website we are purchasing them from.
Now, FH’s middle brother (FH is the baby) is planning to ask his gf of 2 years to marry him. I found this out from my FH and Future Mother-In-Law. Middle brother plans on setting his date for the SAME year as us! More than likely it will be before ours since ours is in Oct. and any later may have an issue w/snow for traveling guests.
My Future Mother-In-Law gave the oldest son $3,500 towards his wedding. She intended to do the same for us and then middle brother the following year. Now, she is planning to split $3,500 down the middle and give to both us and middle brother… Normally, I don’t care about money, I know we’ll get by. BUT, the fact that we budgetted her “gift” into our expenses now changes A LOT of things. Also, I can’t believe that she is not telling middle brother that he has to wait til the following year out of courtesy for OUR wedding!
She see’s it differently since middle brother plans on getting married in the state that most of their family lives in, saying that family won’t have to pay for a second trip, only having to travel for our wedding. Well, that maybe true BUT, how can Future Mother-In-Law split the money she promised us w/middle brother and expect the family to be able to afford gifts for both events so close together?!
Like I said, I don’t really care about money. I am not superficial. I am just putting myself in the shoe’s of our guests. If I had to buy gifts for 2 weddings back to back plus pay for travel expenses, I would be a little bit upset…. Not to mention, FH and I are shelling out a lot of money for our wedding AND buying a home at the same time so if middle brother has his wedding before OR after us within 6-8 months, we won’t have the money to get them a gift, pay for travel expenses and take vacation time when we have to do those things for our own wedding!!
FH and I won’t be able to take time off for our wedding and honeymoon AND take time off for middle brothers wedding all the way over on the east coast in a period of less than a year!! It is totally unfair of them to plan like that. FH has suggested to his mom that they should hold off til the next year but I don’t think she gets it!
She demanded that FH and I hold off for his oldest brothers wedding, yet she doesn’t expect middle brother to hold off for us. They have been together a little bit longer than we have and they feel entitled to be in this position before us and I think that is a dumb way to look at it! It is not my FH’s fault that you didn’t feel the need or have the means to ask gf to marry you before FH asked me!!
Am I wrong??????