Weddingbee boards

yeah. I've had quite a few of those. Here's the old post if you were curious, but this isn't entirely related.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/any-good-self-help-books-for-mom-long-vent

I know there is utterely NOTHING I can do about this (other than vent on weddingbee...) but I'm just sick of my mom's immaturity. I was just talking to my 13 year old brother a little bit and he mentioned how Sunday night they are going to stay at my mom's male-friend's house before they head to an amusement park Monday morning. I say male friend because while my mom is head over heals for this guy and insists that he's THE ONE, he has absolutely NO desire to have a romantic relationship with her. He's not looking to settle down, he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, etc. Which is perfectly fine. He's just coming out of a divorce and I honestly think it's great that he's so upfront and is honestly with himself and other women. But my mom still insists he's the one and is hoping and waiting for him to come around. Ok, whatever. So anyway, I asked my brother if he liked going over the male friend's lake house and he said, no, not really. I asked why, because my mom made it sound like they really enjoyed it, and he said that last time when they were there, the male friend kept complaining until my brother and sister went outside (sister is 16) and then he and my mom proceeded to "do their business" as my brother worded it.

O.M.G! I'm not a prude or religious or anything and I dont feel like a person should have to wait until marriage until they have sex with a person (I didn't) but I DO believe that they should at least wait until they are in a commited relationship, as that's what my mom taught me! (well it started out as telling me I should wait until I'm married, but when I came clean about Mr. Joe, she revealed what she really thought and that the individuals should have a loving commited relationship first).

Regardless, she's just being such a horrible example to my brother and sister. They are at the ages where it's really important to set boundries with them and teach them about these sort of things, and I just don't think she's doing that. I really, really hope that they don't follow her footsteps. She's a mother and with that comes certain responsibilities. Ever since my parents got divorced though, she's just become so much more selfish and rather put herself ahead of her kids, which is really unfortunate. My brother failed a few classes last school year and she didn't care or try to get after him or bother with it really. If me and my college-aged brother had done that... I don't even know what sort of trouble we'd be in because we simply were never allowed to get to that point in the first place. She's not setting any limits for them.

I won't say anything to her about it, because that's probably going out of line, but it just really, really bothers me. At the very least can't she try to keep her behaviors secret or hidden from them?? Besides the fact that it's setting a bad example, it's just plain gross to hear and know about your mother doing those things! It's so inconsiderate.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Again.

Oh my mom is well aware of the fact they they have heard her and know what's going on. It's made no difference. They have flat out mentioned it to her and she just laughs it off. Not even kidding. She didnt even TRY to be quieter about it. This was when she was with the last guy that she thought things were going to work out with... It's really not much use. She'll think I'm being a know it all. Nobody has ever been able to sit her down and talk some good sense into her. That's just how she is. Unfortunately, I can't "rescue" my siblings, even for a few hours to give her alone time because they are in Indiana and I'm in NYC. If we had the room to have them over here, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but unfortunately we just don't at the moment. I dont even know if there would be enough room to make a spot to sleep on the floor. That's how little room we have lol And, idk, I guess her sexual life really isn't my business and plenty of adults sleep with other adults and I suppose I wouldn't be judging them, but it's just hard when it's your own mother and your siblings are involved, ya know?

They also won't share a bed together when they stay in the same house overnight and the kids are there. What exactly are they trying to prove? That having sex isn't a bit deal, but staying in the same bed is way too inimate? I know this male-friend is quite religious and involved in Church. I don't know what religion. Are there any Christian religions that don't condone premarital sex like that?

Sister doesn't drive yet, but she's working on it. She recently got her permit. Im sure to her it won't be soon enough :p

I know the divorce still hurts her sometimes, but it's been almost 10 years now. If she hasn't learned by now I really don't know if she ever will.

I think she is afraid of being alone, but she also feels like she has to depend on someone other than herself. It's just no fun!

She's currently at the amusement park with my siblings. They are actually missing two days of school I learned. I really, really hope they can pick up what NOT to do by learning from her and her mistakes.