- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So sorry this has come up now. I can't imagine. Yes, I think it's too much. Was she planning her wedding before you started? Why did she choose that date- a month before yours? Do you have a lot of mutual friends?
Of course, she is your closest friend and you want to do it, but it seems like you are already dealing with your own wedding and graduation and honeymoon and aren't you moving, too?
I would have been able to do it four weeks out from my wedding. Things were busy for sure at that point in time, but they weren't that crazy. I say go for it. That's so fun you guys are getting married so close together! You are going to have so much fun!
Ahhh.. I remeber your other post now. You got an answer but maybe you weren't expecting it, right? Well I'm gl;ad you won't feel left out of the loop anymore:-) You will now BE the loop if you decide to say yes! Sounds like you really want to do it, so go with your heart and you'll work it out.
Lol, no that girl is still fail. I've heard boo from her. This is a different bridesmaid.
I was planning/engaged first, but her fiance is in the Marines, and it's the only time he has open for them to get married between bootcamps and stuff. I just asked her for it not to be on my graduation weekend. :p
I really would love to do it, but I think it's probably too much.
P.S. I still haven't dealt with the fail bridesmaid (Annie). I've calmed down, but I've become really, "Ugh, don't want to deal with this. Ignore it." with the situation.
oooh tough call...My suggestion is to talk to her about it, tell her how much is going to be going on with you then and tell her you feel you won't really be that good of a MOH at that time.
She may very well be one of those brides who doesn't need an MOH to do all that work. Like me, I'm too OCD to just let my two girls plan things lol I'd rather just do everything myself. So she may just want you as a MOH just for the namesake and meaning.
You never know until you ask :) :)
I think she's planning on relying on MOH for the traditional duties. She aplogized when asking, because she knew all I had going on, obviously.
I want to do it, but I don't want to accept and then let her down or go batshit crazy. :p
you finish school in may, the BM gig is in May and your wedding is in June.... im worried you might be spreading yourself too thin with all the little things that need to be taken care off for all 3 of these events
i would say no, its nice to be asked but im worried about the extra stress you will be having to deal with
remember, no one wants a crazy bride or BM :)
I think you should sit down with her and have an honest, open conversation about the situation. One of my bm was 8 months pregnant at my wedding, and she wasn't sure if she should continue or drop out of the bridal party. I figured that it didn't matter if a pregnant bm didn't have her hair or makeup done, and I understood if she wouldn't be able to be in the pictures. I told her to just do whatever she could, and didn't have any concerns about what she would be missing. Although she couldn't do the pictures, hair or makeup, she was able to walk down the aisle with her husband (one of the gm) so everything worked out perfectly and we got a lot of nice pictures of them together.
You should tell your bm that you completely understand why she chose her wedding date, but that you are not certain that you will be able to complete all of the traditional roles of a bm since you already have so much on your plate. Leave it up to her to decide if she would prefer for you to be a bm who will perform limited duties, or drop out. But please give her as much notice as possible that you may not be able to help her with her planning so that she can rely upon her other bridesmaids.
It is also quite possible that she has thought about all of this, and realizes how hard the timing is for you. She may have asked you since she is a bridesmaid in your wedding, and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by not asking you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, especially when it is so close to hers.
Especially when you're that tall.... ;) ;) Then it's scary to the little people. :)
Oh boy.. I would do it, but I'm crazy like that. But I would ask her either to come up with a co-MOH, or find the most helpful of all the bridesmaids you can to share the burden with ;).
I'm already a bridesmaid in her wedding, that's a for sure thing, but she wanted to make me MOH. I'm not going drop out as a bridesmaid. She'd murder me, and I'd murder me. :p
I think she probably already knows I won't be able to do the MOH, but was just holding out a last thread. She's very sweet and understanding. :)
Lol! Yeah, I'd probably work better as a non-crazy bride/bridesmaid rather than a batnuts crazy bride/moh. lol. Plus, she's over a foot shorter than I am. No joke. I wonder if I'm gonna get to wear heels. I'll feel like a horse trotting down the aisle. :p
I would keep with your regular BM duties, but you'll still be able to help her out with planning and such seeing as how your a bee and all:-) You want to go on a honeymoon, not to the asylum!
Yeah. :)
Plus, the wedding is in Athens, which is an hour and a half away from our apartment in ATL and 3 hours away from my parents' house.
I should get her to start posting on WB. :p
We're not horses fiftyfoot...we're giraffes. :D :D
I'd tell her you'll be like her 2.0 version Bridesmaid. Not quite a MOH but you'll help in any way you can since you'll be an expert in wedding planning. :) :) :)
I'll be version awesome-point-oh. :p
Edit: I'm in the midst of painting a four-foot-tall self portrait. It's my lower legs starting with mid/high calf and going down. I'm in heels. Ginormously long legs. I've only blocked out the color of the shoes, and so it sort of looks like I have hooves. lol
hahaha!! That sounds like an awesome piece!! You most definitely should post pictures when it's done. Heck it sounds like something I would want to buy but couldn't afford. (art is so expensive)
Do you think she would want you to be her maid of honor even if you can't do a whole lot?? I know I'm not relying on mine that much because I'm so bad at delegating, so she's hardly going to have anything to do!!
Sounds like a bit much... and sounds like she understands that and will be understanding about it! For the sake of your sanity, and the sake of ensuring your friendship stays healthy (as stress is prone to preventing healthy friendships, haha), I would say pass as gracefully as you can.
I would say yes if I only had day-of-event duties, like picking up flowers, going to salon with her, standing with her at the ceremony, pics, party, etc. Ask if you can wear one of the pretty dresses you already own - you don't have time to buy shoes, dress, etc.
These last minute military weddings tend to be no-fuss so you might be able to enjoy one day with her and the family.
This could be a nice one day break from your own planning.
This is what I would do - think about the other bridesmaids in her wedding. How close are they to her and has anyone else been a Bmaid or MOH before? If you accepted the responsibility would you be totally alone in organizing everything or would the other girls step up to the plate?
If you think you will get help, I'd say go for it. Usually MOH is just a title (an important title), but everyone else ends up doing almost the same amount of work sort of following the MOH's lead. And you won't get another chance to be her MOH, so even if it's a little stressful it might be worth it!
I obviously don't know the whole situation, so do what you think is best I'm just trying to tell you what I would do. Good luck!
I think you should go for it! Sometimes more "pressure" helps manage time better. Plus, her wedding will be fresh in your mind, so you'll be able to "avoid" some of the not as good things that happen in hers.
I would do it. Yes you will be busy but it might actually motivate you to get most of your own planning done and finished early on. You'll be graduating and then have her wedding to kind of sit back and take some pressure off your own planning. I kow that wedding planning is difficult but it's not the end of the world ladies. If she's a true friend I'd say that's more important & an honor that she asked. If your going to be in the wedding party anyway; you will arleady be expected to participate in most of the pre-wedding events anyway. So if your going to be there anyway; why not Really Be It!?! I think it would be exciting!
I am doing it!!!!
My best friend is getting married a month before me and I am her MOH and she is mine!!!!! I am so excited and we are doing a lot of stuff together! I know it's going to be crazy but it is worth it because she is so important to me!
Her wedding is going to be 4 hours from where I live and she lives all the way across the country from me so I am helping her with a lot of her planning.
Plus - her Bachelorette and shower will all be within the week before her wedding!!!!
Good thing I work well under pressure!!!!!
If you don't work well with stress don't do it - but if you love it like I do - go for it!
Have fun no matter what you choose!!!!!
That seems like a lot to handle in such a short period of time. If you think you can truly do it all, then say yes! I'm glad she asked ya. But if you feel like it may be too much, be honest with her. I'm sure she'll understand and you can be a bridesmaid.
NAh, not crazy. I did it it the saturday before my own wedding! It was a ton of fun actually
Eeeek! I think it's a bit too close, what with your graduation also taking place during that time. I'm about 6 weeks out and between working, going to school and planning/getting ready for the wedding - there's no way I could take on something else. Just knowing that you're in school and all... I'd say no way.
I'm gonna be a MOH 5 weeks before my wedding. I don't think its too crazy. Sure while you are going threw it all you will feel more stressed out, but I love my girlfriends to death and I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me. So just my opinion I dont want to let her down on her big day and make sure its just as special as I know she is going to help mine be.
I was in a similar situation, except that I was my best friend's Matron of Honor 7 weeks after my wedding, and she was mine. I, personally, asked her to be my MOH because she's my best friend, and I didn't expect her to throw me a bachlorette party or do anything except show up and be there for me on the wedding day.
She may not be expecting you to have to do everything. I knew that she wouldn't have time to throw me a bachlorette party, at the time I lived in Texas and she was in Illinois, but maybe see what your friend's expectations are. If you would gladly be her MOH, but don't have time to throw a party, ask if that task can be handed off to someone else. I was just available to do anything she needed me to do on her wedding day, as she was when it came to mine.
Eeeek! That's a big undertaking. If you think that all of your ducks will be in a row for your own wedding by that point, then I might say yes if you are truly wanting to. Otherwise, tell her you sooo appreciate the honor but have a lot on your plate right now with school and your own wedding.
If you think you can pull it off, go for it! I'd also talk to her and make sure you understood what she was looking of in a MOH.
Keep in mind, you'd need to plan her bachelorette party more than a week before her wedding (since you'll have finals)
Ok, so update! I am now her MOH, but it's more of a figurehead MOH, i.e. I'll be doing a lot of delegating. She's on board and very understanding, as are the other BMs. So, yay life, and thanks for all of the good advice. :)
Awesome! I'm glad it worked out for you! It was making me sad that you might give up such an important role in your friend's life because of some DIY projects. Coming from the other side, the projects aren't nearly as important as standing up with your friend.
Well it's good that it worked out for you - what an honor - and very exciting!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Ok, so one of my bridesmaids, the non-fail one, if anyone's been following, just asked me to be her MOH. She's getting married May 22, and our wedding is June 19. I'm graduating from school on May 15.
I'd love to do it, and I want to say yes, but is this CRAZY for me to do?
Heeeeelllpp!