Post # 1
My mother is driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do. My mom loves my FI. She thinks he’s wonderful and after my first marriage sinking me into a deep depression, she will readily tell everyone that the FI has done me wonders and is the best thing to ever happen to me. My parents paid for my first wedding 11 years ago, and we haven’t asked for any financial help. My mom doesn’t think I should have an actual wedding this time. She thinks that we should just go to the JOP and have a courthouse wedding with no guests. I’m planning a small, intimate wedding (which is the opposite of the elaborate affair I had the first time). Any time the wedding subjec comes up, my mom will leave the room if possible or change the subject. It’s driving me crazy. She wouldn’t go with me to look at dresses and when I tried to show her the one I ordered online, she refused to look at the computer. Grrrrrr….Thank heavens for my FI & my bestie!
Post # 3
@CrunchieBar: Oh no! That is so sad. Are you and your Mom close? I’m sorry. Can you ask her to have a sit-down to talk about it? I would tell her how much it means to you to have her support you on this. Also that you feel like you are missing out because your relationship is suffering during this happy time in your life.
Post # 4
Wow, that’s so sad. I’m sorry for you 🙁 Just because you were already married, doesn’t mean that you can’t have another wedding
Post # 5
We’re VERY close, which is why this is so surprising. We live next door to my parents. I talk to my mom at least 5 times a day. I’ve approached the subject again and again and it gets me no where.
Post # 6
Congratulations on finding love again Diva!! After a marital disaster, most women dwell on their disappointment and unfortunately become embittered. The fact that you’ve made it past that tragic point is reason number eleventy-seven to celebrate! Opening yourself up to being loved again takes courage..and you’ve got it!!! It appears as though your Mothers stubborness and avoidance of your wedding may be hiding the bigger issue: fear. She quite simply may be afraid that you’re going to get hurt again. <think about it>
In the meanwhile…..while she works through whatever she’s going through, your fabulous FI & Bestie will be there for you!!!! So chin up, throw your shoulders back, and enjoy the insane wedding ride!!!
Good luck to you both!!
Post # 7
I don’t know if you’ve brought this up already, but maybe she hasn’t thought about it from the perspective of your FI. Just because you had an elaborate affair the first time around, does that mean he can’t have the experience of celebrating your commitment and love in a way that speaks to both of you? I totally agree that this is a new marriage and you deserve all the fun and joy of planning a different wedding with this different person, but if she doesn’t get that, maybe thinking about how she shouldn’t want your FI to go without this experience would help?
If not, like you said, thank goodness for your FI and your bestie–and the Bee! Congratulations on planning a celebration of a happy life together! Chin up and big hugs!
Post # 8
@MsChievous08: Thank you for the encouragement!
Post # 9
I’m SO sorry to hear that. You deserve support and encouragement and it’s good you are getting it from other people if she can’t provide it! I’m sure she’s just trying to protect you from being hurt again in her crazy mother way? I hear they do that when they really care.
Until she comes around just hold your head up and be encouraged that you have a great man who loves you!!