[ Just Curious ] **Do you really let people CHOOSE for you?**

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BellaDee:  I think that a lot of bees have an idea of what they want but then need a sort of validation that what they want actually looks good. So if the consensus is that what they want does in fact look good, then maybe they will stick with it and if the consensus is that what they want doesn’t look good then maybe they will tweak a few things.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@BellaDee:  I’ve often wondered the same thing. I’ll let my husband choose my meal in a restaurant, but I sure as heck won’t let a bunch of strangers sway my real life decisions.

Post # 5
Hostess
9910 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BellaDee:  I find that the polls I’ve posted help me decide becuase it makes me realize which thing I really like.  I posted a dress poll and the bee HATED my dress, it’s still my dress, and it made me very defensive and made me realize that if I’m this defensive about it it’s clearly the right dress for me, so in a backwards way the poll worked.  Other times I’ve posted invitation or save the date ideas to get another pair of eyes.  Those suggestions I often take, help with editing etc.  Things like that often take an extra set of eyes to get perfect.

I would never make a decision COMPLETELY based on the opinion of random strangers but I do find the advice helpful.

Post # 6
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The bee was enormously helpful to me when I was working on our invitations etc. I would post something and ask for feedback, receive it, make the changes and so on until everyone was happy and at that point I was also SO much happier than I had been with the original product! A few times I’ve also asked for advice when I’ve been really torn between two options and then gone with the general vote of the crowd. However, I don’t really look upon it as other people making decisions for me – rather that they help me with the creative process.

Post # 7
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mylittleviolett:  this is a great explanation!

When I posted a poll about alterations for my dress I did use the poll results. I wasn’t sure if there was truly a problem with my dress or if I was just being bridezilla-ish. 

Post # 8
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@eocenia:  totally agree. I think the opinions of hundreds of totally objective strangers can be really valuable, especially when we as brides tend to get our heads stuck pretty far up our own asses. I definitely made a few polls that helped talk me out of things that, in hindsight, weren’t very good ideas. So glad I did! And just like @MsGinkgo:  I’ve had polls not turn out the way I wanted them to, and realized from that result that I was actually pretty dead-set on the idea and to hell with what the people of the internet had to say. It just meant I at least REALIZED that maybe my bridesmaid hair pieces might be considered a bit gaudy — I made them anyway and made the bridesmaids wear them anyway, but I at least apologized first Tongue Out

Post # 9
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SeaSalt:  I agree. I too was curious about all the polls.

Post # 11
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BellaDee:  I posted a poll when I was choosing between two rings… I wouldn’t have let the Bees decide for me in the sense that I would get whichever ring came out top, but I did value some totally objective opinions. My friends would never criticise anything I liked and would just say “ooh they’re both nice!” for fear of offending me.

Plus I found that whenever the bees voted for the ring I ended up choosing, I thought “yay, they like her!”. And when they voted for the other ring I thought “awww why don’t they like my baby?” So my feelings about the poll told me that in my heart of hearts I already knew which ring I wanted!

Post # 12
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

i haven’t posted a lot of polls because i generally know what i like – i have pretty specific taste and don’t really care what most people think.

but i was considering buying an expensive headpiece and the poll talked me out of it – it was one time my fiance LOVED the bees. haha.

i have posted lots of threads about logistics and advice and gotten AMAZING helpful tips that have really made me change the way i thought about something. the bees are great at problem solving and i literally couldn’t have planned this wedding without the opinions of others. recently i thought something was going to work, was all ready to buy the supplies and found out it wasn’t a viable option at all! the bees are lifesavers!

Post # 13
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Often with mine I find out I was actually leaning toward a specific choice but I hadn’t realized until everyone voted against it haha.

And if you are leaning toward one, and everyone else agrees it gives you some peace of mind to go ahead and get it/do it/etc.

Post # 14
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I had posted a poll with two dresses.  One ‘everyone’ I took with me LOVED, the other I LOVED more/felt it was more my vision, etc.  The Bee voted in favor of what my loved ones liked BEST!

Knowing it was not the right dress, I set out to keep dress searching.  The dress styles posted were two completely different looks.  I ended up picking, and FALLING in love with a dress that shared the silhoutte of what the majority liked (i.e., what flattered me more in pictures, or in person), and yet had the fabric of what I envisioned myself in.

I did not post that dress on here, because at that point, no one else’s opinions matter 🙂  At the same time, I am glad I polled the first two because it really helped me zone in on exactly what I wanted/needed for my marriage day, knowing that if a poll was needed (for me personally), I had not found ‘it’ yet.

Post # 15
Member
6013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Audrey2:  +1

I think that a lot of bees post dress polls and such because they know the people in their life won’t give them honest answers for fear of hurting their feelings. Yet, random people on the internet won’t hold back. I also think that some bees post polls because maybe there are some things they didn’t think about. Ex: poll about 2 rings. One she really loves but some bees point out that the type of band she might want, won’t work with it. Maybe she hadn’t thought about the band yet because she was so focused on finding the e-ring. So stuff like that.

I also think that some bees post polls to see if people agree with their choices. If most don’t and she stands her ground, then she knows she made the right decision. If most don’t agree with her and it makes her second guess her choice, they she knows she probably needs to keep looking. Etc.

Post # 16
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@iarebridezilla: Absolutely, really valuable + you don’t drive people around you insane by pestering them with your endless “um… but what about this fabric versus this fabric”. Normal people don’t care, people on the bee do – I really appreciate that and I’m sure DH does too!

@BellaDee:  I mean styles of dresses, flowers, venues etc.  If we all chose exactly what everyone thought was the best then it wouldn’t really show off our own personality. 

I don’t agree with this. I ofter seen bee’s post things that really show of their personality, they just need some final help to take the plunge as they’ve simply thought about whatever it is for too long and they can’t make decisions anymore. As an example, four months ago I couldn’t for the life of me decide on what trim to add to my wedding clutch. Blue or gray?

The bee voted for blue (68%) and I made it so – I still think the bag reflects my personality and I don’t feel like a sheep for going with the popular vote.

Whenever you get a bag/dress/flower post I would say you’re always presented with a number of alternatives which all reflects the brides individual taste!

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