Post # 1
Ok so long story short, my grandmother has been emotionally abusive all of my life. She has emotionally and mentally tormented and abuse me since I was born. She goes out of her way to talk down to me and many family members including my 2 brothers and sister. She also treats my mother, aunts and uncles (all her children) like crap. She is always fussing, accusing, being nasty, being rude, starting drama all the damn time. And I am at a point today where I am drawing the line and not dealing with her anymore at all.
With me being months away from my date. I can’t help but not even think about wanting her there. I am tired of subjecting myself to this foolishness. And I don’t want it on my day.
We have a kinda big family, but is it wrong for me to invite half the family and not all of the family? The real question is should I feel obligated to invite her? Would you invite her? Remember if she is invited and she acts a fool when she get there, I am going to flip out.
Post # 3
No, no, no. I don’t think you should have to, I certainly wouldn’t. You don’t need that crap on your guys’s day! It is supposed to be a happy day for you, you shouldn’t have to listen to that at all let alone your wedding day. You probably don’t have to invite everybody, i wouldn’t invite anyone i don’t actually want being there. And don’t feel bad about it, if she wonders why she wasn’t invited i would tell her. I wish you luck =) and Merry Christmas!
Post # 4
I wouldn’t invite her. And yes, both my FI and I invited some of our family and not all. We treated them like friends or coworkers. Who do we see and who do we not and that’s how we invited family.
Post # 5
If she’s abusive, I would not invite her. Sometimes you have to cut toxic out of your life.
Post # 6
Its better to risk a little bit of drama before your wedding day by not inviting her than to risk having drama ON your wedding day. If she is that much drama its just not worth it.
Post # 7
How would she react if she wasn’t invited? Is she the type to crash the wedding, or to forbid the rest of the family from attending?
How does the rest of the family view her? Do they still respect her/listen to her despite her behavior? Would they be upset if she wasn’t invited?
Post # 8
I see your point and this is tough.
Keep in mind that the people that you are inviting should be there to celebrate your union and bring you great blessings and wishes. As you work on your guest list those are the things you should think about. I’m taking off my planner & etiquette hat and say…… no I would not invite her personally.
I would want to be surrounded by love, peace, happiness, and well wishes….not having emotional flashbacks on my once in a lifetime wedding day.
Post # 9
Let me say as I began to read responses, I found myself agreeing with each and every one. Thank you ladies for helping me to know that I am not being unreasonable.
Someone in this thread asked if she the type to crash. No, she’s not, but she’s the type to get on the phone lying and accusing my man or me of all kinds of crazy things that aren’t true. Just likes to keep stuff going.
I love the quote about TOXIC people……. I say this all the time. And I have already cut some fake friends and family members back for toxic behavior. And its funny because there are some family members that I don’t particularly care for ( I want to invite one my cousins, and not her sister), but I am doing it anyway because I don’t think its right.
But this crazy lady has me up in here wondering, what wedding dress will look cute paired up with handcuffs in my mug shot photo. If I was to invite her and she acts a fool, I am going to catch a criminal case on that day.
Post # 10
You don’t HAVE to invite someone just because he or she is “family.” If she is abusive and hurts your family, don’t invite her. It’s not worth the risk that she may start drama on your big day.
Post # 11
That is EXACTLY what I was thinking.