Just disappointed…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I stick with the DOC or keep looking?
    Stay with her and use the assistant : (4 votes)
    12 %
    Keep looking! She should be there for your wedding if that's what was discussed. : (28 votes)
    85 %
    Book the first option and pay extra for the rehearsal dinner. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I say you keep looking for someone that will attend everything and follow through with you in every aspect rehearsal dinner, set up, and the WHOLE wedding day. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @springbride23:  You are being really reasonable! It is super annoying when people are unprofessional and if she was going to be missing a lot of the wedding then she should have stated that she was unavailable for you date. I mean good for her for trying to appease both work AND family but you are not responsible for her home life. I would keep looking

    Post # 5
    Member
    6032 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Don’t be surprised if most DOC you talk to ask for an extra fee for the rehearsal dinner; they are a Day Of Co-ordinator, not a Weekend Of Coordinator!  This is totally normal and you shouldn’t factor it into your final decision on who to hire. Of course there are some that will lump it all into one fee but generally their fees will be higher to reflect the extra time invested and the fact that they cannot book another event for the night of your rehearsal.

    Remember, DOC’s (at least real pro’s) have been through this before. They can get a very good idea of what they need to do on the day of simply by working with you, and may not need to even visit your venue unless you’re using a fairly unique space.  They will know more about what needs to be set up and who is who from speaking with you, not from seeing the rehearsal, so a DOC that does not attend the rehearsal is really no big deal. (and if the DOC can’t figure out who the bridal party is from the clothing they’re wearing, they should probably find another line of work).

    Your officiant may also request an additional fee to attend the rehearsal so check your contract.

    As far as passing work over to the assistant, it’s probably going to be just fine. My sister got married in a pretty unique venue and the venue provided a DOC; right before the ceremony the DOC said she would be leaving and that the assistant would take care of the actual day, and everything was just fine.  A DOC usually has more than one client at a time and usually has an assitant who does all the nuts-and-bolts of stuff, and may even know more of the tiny details than the DOC herself does. 

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    6032 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Think of it this way– 

    when you go to a restaurant, the chef writes the menu and tells all the assistant chefs what they need to cook, what goes in the recipes, etc. In many restaurants, during dinner service, the chef never touches a pan. He/she just tells the other chefs what to do, and they do it. Your DOC and her assistant are likely the same way: the DOC takes care of the planning bit and sends the assistant to do all sorts of small things, and then writes a “recipe” for the assistant to follow.

    Honestly if you meet the assistant and they seem fairly bright, I wouldn’t be afraid of this. The hard part is in the planning. it’s pretty easy to follow someone else’s plan!

    Post # 10
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have never heard of a DOC being there for the rehearsal. That makes no sense to me. At most, your officiant should be there to lead the ceremony rehearsal, but even that isn’t necessary.

    ETA: Our DOC was there the day before to let us in so that we could set up, and was there the day of to make sure that things ran smoothly. She was also our contact person for the venue. THAT is what they do–it sounds like you want a wedding planner.

    Post # 12
    Member
    565 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Keep looking. The whole point of having a day of coordinator is having a “day of coordinator.”

    Post # 14
    Member
    6032 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    😀 I am a sous-chef (second chef) in a pretty high-end restaurant and I never touch a pan.  My boss, the chef, doesn’t even work nights; he leaves it all to me and the other sous-chef. And everyone loves their food just the same as if the Big Boss had cooked it!

    Post # 15
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @springbride23:  Okay, yes, wedding planner! DOC is a day-of coordinator, the person who is there to handle things on your wedding day so that you don’t have to.

    In this instance, you’re likely to be fine planning with her and then letting her assistant handle things on the day-of.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    @springbride23:  I would be OK with the assistant doing most of the work, but I’d definitely want to meet them beforehand. Will the assistant be at your planning meetings? If so, I’d be comfortable with that. I dont think you’re a bridezilla for wanting the DOC at your rehersal, I would want that too, but I agree they are within their rights to charge a little more because its additional time. I’d say it’s all about what your comfortable with, if you’re not being unreasonable (which it sounds like you’re not) keep looking until you find what you’re looking for!

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