- Mr. Coffee
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Now that Miss Coffee and I have been engaged for just over a month… it’s safe to say, the wedding planning process has officially begun! Am I freaking out, do I break out in a cold sweat when ever I hear “so what do you think honey”?
As men, we learn at a young age (traditionally from our fathers) that when a female asks if you like or dislike something… you always reply with same general response: “I think it looks great” or “I like it”.
Through the years, my relationship with Miss Coffee has been, well… a trail by error! I’ve learned the hard way that you don’t just throw every piece of clothing in the dryer. I also was quickly educated in why men should always put the toilet seat down. These are just a couple examples of lessons learned through the years.
For me, when it comes to Miss Coffee’s attire… its easy! To be honest, her style is one of many things I feel in love with. So when she asks me “do I look good in this”? 99% of the time I will say “babe… you look incredible, I mean hot’. I like to consider myself a good listener and take the extra effort to pay attention to what Miss Coffee wants/likes/favors/dislikes/hates!
My real concern is that recently I realized that when asked “honey, what do you think of this”; I’m not just responding to Miss Coffee, I’m responding to her entire family. As a man, I can handle the reaction and outcome of one woman (Miss Coffee), but when there are 6 women in the room… BY THE GREAT BEARD OF ZEUS!
I also don’t want to step on toes or over step my bounds when it comes to this wedding planning stuff. I’ve stood up in a many weddings these past few years and I’ve found it odd how some grooms have described the wedding planning process:
These are actual comments I’ve heard from the mouth of a groom:
“Her mother told me to sit back, relax and let the ladies go to work”
“She told me from day one all I had to do is show up in a tux”
“The only thing she let me be a part of was what food to select”
“Just don’t get drunk before the ceremony, that’s all I had to do”
While I found all the above comments funny at the time they were being said. Personally, I don’t want to just be a shadow in this process. I think for many husbands-to-be, they want to be involved in the beginning of the wedding planning. However, I just get the feeling that as the time passes then men automatically get the impression they should take a step back… or 20 steps back!
Miss Coffee as made it perfectly clear that she wants my opinion, ideas, and suggestions throughout the wedding planning process… and I’m happy to follow through with. I simply, don’t want to find myself two months from now… standing in the corner of some banquet hall, playing Tetris on my cell phone while 6 ladies debate whether to have the chicken or the lamb.
However, I guess what I’m struggling with is… Just because Miss Coffee wants me to be involved doesn’t mean everybody else involved feels the same way. So what is it that I should do, how involved should I be? Do I play it safe and only give my thoughts when asked or do I give my opinion without an invitation?