- 4 years ago
So, first I should say I’m REALLY EXCITED because I got engaged last week after over nine years with my fiance. So excited, so happy, this is wonderful, etc.
Anyway, the morning after we got engaged, I called my parents to tell them, and they were super thrilled. My mom screamed and cried on the phone, etc. And he was saying he was nervous about telling his parents, and I thought that was ridiculous. They are frequently judgmental about the choices he makes in life and I guess he thought this would be the same. I said don’t be silly, you saw how excited my mom was, moms are going to be excited about a wedding.
Well, his mom was NOT excited. Or happy. She was “surprised.” And not in a good way. On the phone she just awkwardly said “oh” with a lot of awkward pauses. I heard his side of the convo and he was saying things like, “Well, this is our decision and we’re very happy,” and I could tell it was not going well from that. He was so sad afterward, and I felt terrible for suggesting it would be a good conversation. Ugh!
He is a very conciliatory person, and took the tack of, “Yeah, this is depressing, but let’s just give her time to warm up to it and come around.” Frankly, I wasn’t too happy about this, but it’s his mom and he’s her baby, okay. A few hours later, she emailed us and the rest of the family that lives in town inviting us all “to celebrate Nicole and L’s wonderful news” this past Saturday, and I didn’t really want to go but he figured she was already feeling bad about things and wanted to fix it. Then on Saturday morning she acted very rude, demanding at the last minute that fiance spend the whole day with her, alone, prior to dinner (for absolutely no reason), and at the celebration dinner, it wasn’t mentioned a SINGLE time that we had gotten engaged. If you didn’t know already, you wouldn’t have known we were celebrating anything.
Anyway this is mostly just venting, but I’m so disappointed about this. We get along fine–I don’t think this has anything to do with me, actually. She’s just really controlling about a lot of things with fiance. I know it’s really early on and she might deal with it better as things progress, but I hate having this sour note right now, and it’s making me all bridezilla “I don’t want her at the wedding!” in my mind. And it’s making me pretty nervous about how the next few months are going to go. How did you deal with mamas who couldn’t let go of their boys??