(Closed) Just Engaged and Already Worried

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

The only time I think destination weddings are selfish is when it means that immediate family can’t attend.  If you parents and siblings are all on board then you should do what you want!  No matter what you do you will not be able to please every single person! 

Post # 4
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t necessarily think a destination wedding is selfish. If your immediate family is able to attend without much hardship, then it might be a good option for you. Just know that there is a chance that many people won’t be able to make it- and some of those people may gripe about it. Just assure those people that you understand they can’t make it, but this is very important to you, and you can’t wait to celebrate with everyone else at your local reception later.

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It is your wedding, have it your way…REALLY!  You won’t disappoint anyone for having the wedding of your dreams.  If they love you enough to be disappointed about it, they would have made the effort to join you.. be it Hawaii, the Netherlands or the Moon.. wherever!  The only weddings I would ever be disappointed not going to would be my siblings and my bffs.  But if there is a flight there…i’m there!  And you can still celebrate with everyone else when you get back.

Post # 7
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Do what you want!! My husband kinda  wanted to do a destination wedding but it was really important for me to have the wedding in my home town and have everyone there for the ceremony also. Plus it would have been hard for some of our grandparents to travel. I think the idea of a reception back home is great. You can invite everyone to that and do all the traditional reception things that you want like bouquet toss, garter toss, 1st dance etc. 

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is it the wedding you’ve always dreamed of? Is your fiancé on board with the idea? If the answer to both those questions are yes then I think you should do it! As important as family are it’s also important to follow dreams that mean a lot to you.

Incidentally, my mom’s family (all of whom live overseas) were so excited for the whole of my life for my wedding day – where they would all turn up and have a great big laugh. Out of all my aunts and uncles on my mom’s side only 2 of them actually took the time to take time off work and come to my wedding. Some had legit excuses and the rest just bailed on us when we announced the engagement. Don’t worry about it – it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it’s just they may have financial difficulties that you don’t know about and they don’t want to get your hopes up.

Post # 9
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

I agree, it is your wedding, so pick whatever destination you want.  However, if you still want to get married at the beach but want a destination wedding that is more feasible and affordable for family and friends, why don’t you look into the FL beaches or keys?  

We had a destination wedding and I had family who I hadn’t seen in forever stoked to come, but my husband only had a handful of family member willing to make the trip.  I guess it just depends on the family.  

Go for your dream wedding though, if you really want Hawaii!  : )

Post # 11
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@LovingMyMisterBarger:Sure! Why not?! After all, everyone is going to want to see you in your wedding dress! 

Post # 13
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

DON’T YOU DARE COMPROMISE ON YOUR DREAM WEDDING! I speak from experience since I am also newly engaged and I had big dreams of a destination wedding. Your FI is right and I wouldn’t let everyone’s selfish wants/needs change your mind. If your immediate family is able to go, get your butt to Hawaii and enjoy the one day you can say is all about you two.

I listened to his family and let them guilt-trip me into keeping my wedding local and have regretted it every day since. Just my two cents and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Post # 14
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We are having having a private ceremony with just our parents and then a big reception several months later. I too don’t think that you should compromise on your dream, but just go into it understanding that if you have a destination wedding, expect that attendance will most likely drop to 40-50% of the people you invite (that’s if you have an actual guest list–the percentage is much higher if it’s just your parents!). If all of your friends and family are local, then they will probably show up to your local celebration, but if a portion of them are OOT, then expect that fewer of those guests will come because to some people it’s just not as big a deal when they’re not going to be witnessing vows.

Post # 15
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You can if you want! Since you are having a beach wedding is your dress going to be soft and flowy? If so then i would. If you have a big ball gown, elegant dress than i would think about a short white reception dress. I would def make sure you wear white though! It’s your reception so you still want to look like a bride! 

Post # 16
Member
2384 posts
Buzzing bee

The only way I see a destination wedding as selfish is if your immediate family cannot attend. Can the people you want most go? If so I say go with a destination wedding. Other people can get over it. If it is what you guys really want then it is the right decision. 

My FI are getting married in Mexico. Luckily everyone is on board with the idea. 

I was talking to this older woman on a flight once and she asked about my wedding. When I explained we were doing a destination wedding she said they can be selfish. However when I told her FI and I are paying for everything ourselves AND are paying for our parents trips she changed her tune. Her thought was that I couple could do whatever they want if they’re the ones footing the bill. 

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