just engaged but have a crush on my personal trainer PT

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i would stop having that pt train me. its just gonna be a can of worms that should not be open.

Post # 4
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@memyselfandmymister:  I’m not trying to be unpleasant to you, but if your relationship with your now fiance wasn’t doing well, why did you accept his proposal? I think you need to make a decision: either stay with your fiance and find a different trainer or leave your fiance. 

Post # 5
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

tough one…

first, I would ask why you are getting married with a person that you may not love anymore, it seems that if you’re not passionate about this relationship, it may have run it’s course. I know you want to stay together for the kids, but I wouldn’t want you to be unhappy for a long time and start regretting the decision to marry this person. I’ve heard that there are many broken up parents who have made it work friendship wise and are still able to co-parent.

 

Post # 6
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d definetly switch to a different personal trainer, because it could become something more without you even realizing it. I think you are finding your PT desirable since there is lack of physical contact at home. Your PT is showing you attention and doing what PT do and that is: focusing on you. I think the crush has developed, because your SO and you aren’t communicating too well. If I were in your situation, I’d definetly talk to your SO, tell him how your feeling.

It’s human nature that people catch your eye, beside the ones we’re engaged too. It’s all about not lingering in those fantasies. I would never act on any crush that I have (now if George Clooney walked into my house and desired me that’s another story, and a very far fetched one.)

I wish you the best of luck. 

Post # 7
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

You may have to get a new trainer.

The real problem isn’t your feelings for the trainer, however, it’s your relationship with your fiancée.

Maybe you should rethink the engagement. Maybe you could have a talk with your fiancée and really discuss what’s going on in the relationship and what needs to be done.

Don’t stay in a bad relationship because of the children. Living with two people in a bad relationship isn’t for anyone, much less children. 

Post # 8
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

First, you really need to evaluate why you are getting married to your boyfriend, and if you really should be.

If you determine that yes you love him, and want to spend your life with him and NOT just for the sake of the kids (trust me, kids are not stupid they know when their parents are not happy). Then you need to distance yourself emotionally and possibly physically from the trainer. it sounds like you’re letting yourself get caught up in the excitement of something new 100% because YOUR relationship is lacking, which needs to be addressed. Trust me having an affair won’t get anything out of your system if the real issue is your current relationship.

Post # 9
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@memyselfandmymister:  I think this isn’t about your PT, but about your relationship with your bf.  This shouldn’t be a “should I leave SO for PT, but should I leave SO because I am not happy”?  Don’t leave one man for another.  

Post # 10
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

this is a difficult situation for sure, but the choices are pretty clear: break off your engagement or get a new PT. I think it’s totally natural and understandable that you’re having these feelings for your PT, but if I had feelings like that for another man, I’d get that man out of my life ASAP! My relationship with my husband, even if were rocky, is way more important than a temptation. But if you’re really not happy in your current relationship, and these feelings for the PT are magnifying that, then you should think long and hard about whether you want to be in this relationship. It’s a crappy situation to be in. I hope it works out for the best either way.

Post # 11
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

@MsJ2theZ:  +1000  Great advice.  The problem will still exist whether it’s with the trainer, or someone else, as long as there is dissatisfaction in the relationship.

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