Just fo 20 year olds- your "mistakes"

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My bigest mistake by far was getting married at age 20. Although walking away from that marriage was extremely painful and difficult, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made and I wouldn’t change it. I learned way more from my failed marriage than I can ever really express. I’m just very thankful that it happened when I was in my early twenties and not my fourties or fifties!

Post # 4
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Mine was getting married at 22. People told me it was a mistake but I thought I was an adult and I thought I knew better. Walking away from that marriage was the best thing I have ever done!

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@misslillypad:  I’ve got nothing, all the things people told me were mistakes turned out to actually be mistakes.  My brother loves to remind me that every loser I ever dated he told me right away I should dump.  I’m ok with him being right for the cost of not having to be with them anymore 🙂 he likes FI.

Family told me I should consider a degree that has an immediate career path, I chose psychology and ended up unemployed or working as a secretary for the first two years out of college.  So I got my masters in social work, family told me I should consider something more lucrative.  Now I make very little money for a graduate degree and I’m constantly annoyed that my field is underpaid,  Who listens to their parents in their early 20s?

I’ll use my useless psych degree for one second here though.  The prefrontal cortex, responsible for good judgement, doesn’t finish developing until 25.  Doesn’t mean every decision made before 25 is bad (or every one made after is good, haha I am daily proof of that), just that we don’t have the cognitive capacity to excercise our own best judgement until that part of the brain finishes developing.

Post # 6
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

All my mistakes… were actually real mistakes. Wouldn’t want to live through that era again…

Post # 7
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

I was a very responsible, very committed early 20s-er. Dedicated to my studies, working hard, committed in a long terme relationship. I guess my mistake would have been, focussed too much on work, and not enough on present. I’m 27 already, doing a ph.d, engaged to the man of my dream … but I feel I missed on so many things I could have done : travel, go out … I feel I ”matured” before many of my friends, while they were having fun I was always busy, and now I can’t help but feel nostalgic about the past, and feel sad that I didn’t build up a social life, didn’t have time for leisure, etc. I feel quite lonely sometimes. I had a burn-out/depression at 25 because of too much pression on my shoulders, related to studies and work. Today, I try my best to have a better balance in my life.

 

Post # 8
Member
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Getting married young (21).  Not choosing my career over my then boyfriend…. These are things people  thought were mistakes.  They have yet to become mistakes to me. 

I have now been with my husband 7 years, we have purchased two homes together, have a lovely dog, and even though I chose to attend a law school that was not as highly ranked as the ones I could have attended, I still became a lawyer (at age 24), have a job that I love and pays enough, and I am overall very very happy with my life.

Post # 9
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Rachel631:  This. I very seriously screwed up my life path after high school.

Post # 10
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@jennmariee:  

I have cited this reason for why marrying before 25 is generally not the best idea. Everyone thinks that they know everything when they are in their early twenties. However, life experience often adds a certain humility.

I once posted a thread asking Bees what age they feel is best for marriage. I got flamed for saying that it is better to wait until at least 25, yet the overwhelming majority who voted on my poll agreed with me. 

My cousin is in her early twenties and engaged. She has not finished college and she also says she wants a short engagement so that she can “find out what sex is like”. My cousin also thinks that love alone will solve all marital issues.

 

Post # 11
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

@misslillypad:  Hmm seems this thread has been hijacked by non 20s. 🙁 

My cousin, who is also in her 20s and getting married has said not to have a wedding because it’s so stressful to plan haha. That’s about it though for me.

Post # 12
Member
4601 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Hm, my mistakes really were mistakes…

Post # 13
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Going to Guatemala for 6 weeks. I gave up a lot to be here, but I wouldn’t change a thing, even if it does delay my “real life” a bit

Post # 14
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@misslillypad:  I am only 25, so I am in the middle of my 20’s. Have I made mistakes? Yes. Will I continue to make mistakes? Yes. 

The reality is that you are still 21, you will make mistakes. But you won’t know they are mistakes until later. Some things will go right, others won’t. Unfortunately, you cannot really say today that something won’t be a mistake tomorrow. No matter what conviction you might have or how confident you are, you cannot predict the future. The ideal is to make sound, informed decisions of course, but there is no point in telling people you aren’t making a mistake when you choose to do something (also, that almost makes people question you more).

Also, at 21, I thought I was right about a lot of things and was 100% on track. I was wrong on some stuff. At 25, I am a little more careful at times and less overly confident, but I still make mistakes. Throughout life the only time you can be certain if something was a good choice or bad choice is when you have perspective and you are looking back on it. As they say, “hindsight is 20/20.”

 

Post # 15
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m 27 right now.

 

Mistakes: not dumping my ex the first time he cheated on me, would have saved a whole lot of heart break. 

Possibly not choosing a degree that led to good career prospects (ie: law, medicine, accounting, teaching) although those things still bore me stupid. I did a BA which would have been a total regret had I not gotten a job thanks to my second language. 

Post # 16
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@jennmariee:  Hey fellow Psych bee! Sorry to hear your degree is not working out 🙁 I was a Psych major and Spanish minor. I don’t use my degree directly (I do marketing and recruting for a school–but I do speak Spanish on the job daily), but I wouldn’t chose any other degree if I did it all over again. Keep your chin up, you never know when it might come in handy!

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