Post # 1
This is a thread for you lovely 20’s to post all things people have said you are making a mistake about and then why it isn’t actually a mistake at all but the best choice you have ever made.
To start I am getting married at 21 which everyone tells me is to young. I am also going to start TTC at age next year yet again to young.
However I work as a teacher full time and almost completed me degree. I own a house and we have booked and paid for a trip to Thailand, Europe and The cook islands before we start TTC. We have achive lots of amazing things together and I can’t wait for our married life to be just as amazing.
Post # 3
My bigest mistake by far was getting married at age 20. Although walking away from that marriage was extremely painful and difficult, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made and I wouldn’t change it. I learned way more from my failed marriage than I can ever really express. I’m just very thankful that it happened when I was in my early twenties and not my fourties or fifties!
Post # 4
Mine was getting married at 22. People told me it was a mistake but I thought I was an adult and I thought I knew better. Walking away from that marriage was the best thing I have ever done!
Post # 5
@misslillypad: I’ve got nothing, all the things people told me were mistakes turned out to actually be mistakes. My brother loves to remind me that every loser I ever dated he told me right away I should dump. I’m ok with him being right for the cost of not having to be with them anymore 🙂 he likes FI.
Family told me I should consider a degree that has an immediate career path, I chose psychology and ended up unemployed or working as a secretary for the first two years out of college. So I got my masters in social work, family told me I should consider something more lucrative. Now I make very little money for a graduate degree and I’m constantly annoyed that my field is underpaid, Who listens to their parents in their early 20s?
I’ll use my useless psych degree for one second here though. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for good judgement, doesn’t finish developing until 25. Doesn’t mean every decision made before 25 is bad (or every one made after is good, haha I am daily proof of that), just that we don’t have the cognitive capacity to excercise our own best judgement until that part of the brain finishes developing.
Post # 6
All my mistakes… were actually real mistakes. Wouldn’t want to live through that era again…
Post # 7
I was a very responsible, very committed early 20s-er. Dedicated to my studies, working hard, committed in a long terme relationship. I guess my mistake would have been, focussed too much on work, and not enough on present. I’m 27 already, doing a ph.d, engaged to the man of my dream … but I feel I missed on so many things I could have done : travel, go out … I feel I ”matured” before many of my friends, while they were having fun I was always busy, and now I can’t help but feel nostalgic about the past, and feel sad that I didn’t build up a social life, didn’t have time for leisure, etc. I feel quite lonely sometimes. I had a burn-out/depression at 25 because of too much pression on my shoulders, related to studies and work. Today, I try my best to have a better balance in my life.
Post # 8
Getting married young (21). Not choosing my career over my then boyfriend…. These are things people thought were mistakes. They have yet to become mistakes to me.
I have now been with my husband 7 years, we have purchased two homes together, have a lovely dog, and even though I chose to attend a law school that was not as highly ranked as the ones I could have attended, I still became a lawyer (at age 24), have a job that I love and pays enough, and I am overall very very happy with my life.
Post # 9
@Rachel631: This. I very seriously screwed up my life path after high school.
Post # 10
I have cited this reason for why marrying before 25 is generally not the best idea. Everyone thinks that they know everything when they are in their early twenties. However, life experience often adds a certain humility.
I once posted a thread asking Bees what age they feel is best for marriage. I got flamed for saying that it is better to wait until at least 25, yet the overwhelming majority who voted on my poll agreed with me.
My cousin is in her early twenties and engaged. She has not finished college and she also says she wants a short engagement so that she can “find out what sex is like”. My cousin also thinks that love alone will solve all marital issues.
Post # 11
@misslillypad: Hmm seems this thread has been hijacked by non 20s. 🙁
My cousin, who is also in her 20s and getting married has said not to have a wedding because it’s so stressful to plan haha. That’s about it though for me.
Post # 12
Hm, my mistakes really were mistakes…
Post # 13
Going to Guatemala for 6 weeks. I gave up a lot to be here, but I wouldn’t change a thing, even if it does delay my “real life” a bit
Post # 14
@misslillypad: I am only 25, so I am in the middle of my 20’s. Have I made mistakes? Yes. Will I continue to make mistakes? Yes.
The reality is that you are still 21, you will make mistakes. But you won’t know they are mistakes until later. Some things will go right, others won’t. Unfortunately, you cannot really say today that something won’t be a mistake tomorrow. No matter what conviction you might have or how confident you are, you cannot predict the future. The ideal is to make sound, informed decisions of course, but there is no point in telling people you aren’t making a mistake when you choose to do something (also, that almost makes people question you more).
Also, at 21, I thought I was right about a lot of things and was 100% on track. I was wrong on some stuff. At 25, I am a little more careful at times and less overly confident, but I still make mistakes. Throughout life the only time you can be certain if something was a good choice or bad choice is when you have perspective and you are looking back on it. As they say, “hindsight is 20/20.”
Post # 15
I’m 27 right now.
Mistakes: not dumping my ex the first time he cheated on me, would have saved a whole lot of heart break.
Possibly not choosing a degree that led to good career prospects (ie: law, medicine, accounting, teaching) although those things still bore me stupid. I did a BA which would have been a total regret had I not gotten a job thanks to my second language.
Post # 16
@jennmariee: Hey fellow Psych bee! Sorry to hear your degree is not working out 🙁 I was a Psych major and Spanish minor. I don’t use my degree directly (I do marketing and recruting for a school–but I do speak Spanish on the job daily), but I wouldn’t chose any other degree if I did it all over again. Keep your chin up, you never know when it might come in handy!