Just for fun POLL – Should BM's get a say in picking their dress?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should BM's have a say in what dress they wear?
    Absolutely! I value my friend's comfort over my vision : (153 votes)
    81 %
    No. This is my big day and my vision and they can suck it up for a few hours : (17 votes)
    9 %
    Other - please comment below : (19 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    2551 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I don’t see this as a black and white issue.  I would take everything they say into considerdation, but I’m the end-all-be-all.  Bridesmaids will likely disagree with each other if they’re already disagreeing with you.  However, their input could be extremely helpful!

    Post # 3
    42157 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    crisy003:  I think it is possible to fulfill your vision but stil have dresses that are flattering to your BM’s and which they feel comfortable wearing. There are thousands of dresses out there!

    Post # 5
    8678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    They’re the ones wearing it. I picked out five dresses that I liked and I let my girls choose any of those. One of them had another suggestion (Which I also liked) and she got. A last minute bridesmaid (Literally the day before the wedding) just went to the store and bought whatever fit her in the appropriate color. It worked out beautifully.

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    Post # 6
    744 posts
    Busy bee

    crisy003:  Even if the bride doesn’t care about her friends’ comfort, I can’t imagine that a group of bridesmaids in unflattering dresses who feel insecure is going to look good in person or in pictures.  So one way or another the bride’s “vision” isn’t going to work out.

    Personally I’m letting my large-busted friend who has a hard time finding dresses she feels good in choose her dress first.  My other two bridesmaids are easy to fit and so once we pick the first dress, it shouldn’t be hard to find complementary styles for them (or they can wear the same one if they like it).

    Post # 7
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

    I agree that it’s all about compromise. Personally, I want my girls to all wear the same dress, and I have a style in mind with a few things I don’t really want to budge on -pale purple, floor length and made of chiffon. The cut and style of the dress itself I’m less picky about and I’m more than willing to go shopping with my girls to find a dress that fits within my criteria and they find flattering and comfortable. I don’t really care if it has straps or not, because the final thing I’m not willing to budge on is a faux fur bolero that will cover their arms and shoulders. Again however, there are tons of styles of fur boleros, and so long as it’s a pale gray/silver in color, I don’t really mind what my girls choose.

    Post # 8
    177 posts
    Blushing bee

    I am searching for dresses with my bridesmaids and taking their thoughts into consideration, but the final decision will be mine. I am leaning towards having two or three style options by the same designer, in the same color.  Luckily the bridesmaids I have gone shopping with (2 of 4) seem to be on the same page and have tastes very similar to mine.

    Post # 9
    339 posts
    Helper bee

    crisy003:  I showed them several options to chooose from and their final pick was my top choice too!

    Post # 10
    1099 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    I chose “other” because I have BM’s that run the whole spectrum of body types from teeny tiny to plus sized with a big chest based on that and the fact that at the end of the day, its just a dress and if they are going to have to shell out $150+ on it, I want them to wear something that makes them comfortable and that they feel pretty in. I am not willing to put my best friends in a position where they have to stand in front of people they may or may not know in any clothing that makes them uncomfortable or they feel reveals too much or puts too much emphasis on things they are self conscious about. It’s not fair to them. 

    While I was looking at (and continue to look at) BM dresses, every one that I’ve found that were contenders I sent a pic of to all my girls to get an idea of what they thought. Its worked great so far.

    I think for brides to play the “its my day and you’ll wear whatever dress I pick whether you like it or not” is utter BS! These girls are your best and closest friends not your slave girls that you can make do whatever you desire just because you’re getting married. I’m not saying you should let them steam roll you into picking something just because they wanna be in control, but there has to be compromise. 

    If I had a majority of my girls tell me they were too self conscious to wear a dress I was considering, you better believe I’d continue to look for other dresses that could work. The bride is just being a brat.

    Post # 11
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    craigslistgirl:  +1

    My BMs picked their dress, but they all showed me before hand. I didn’t have any issues unless they were super short or low cut.

    Post # 12
    884 posts
    Busy bee

    I had a couple colours in mind and the bridesmaids chose the colour and style (all different styles, variation in the colour but all neutral grey). The only requirement I has was short. It was a July wedding and I thought long was funny if only one chose to wear it. 

    Post # 13
    884 posts
    Busy bee

    SkinnyLatte17:  I totally agree. I want my bridesmaids to feel comfortable and bc they have to buy somethingp, atleast I want theM to like it! 

    Post # 14
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern

    I voted ‘other’… I definitely requested their input and feedback but because I was footing the bill final say was mine. That being said I would never put my girls in anything that they hated and didn’t flatter them. Fortunately we all have a similar aesthetic so no compromises were needed. 

    Post # 15
    3430 posts
    Sugar bee

    crisy003:  I feel it’s definitely a compromise.  If your bridesmaids aren’t comfortable in what they’re wearing, it’s goign to show in their faces and their posture.  Your friend should really consider budging on her vision.

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