- 6 years ago
I know that my Fiance likes to have a teensy little bit of an extravagant lifestyle. But I wasn’t prepared for today. Part of our planning for the future includes him working on reducing his debt.
I technically owe $600.00 and plan on paying that down to nothing next month.
I found out HIS numbers, and in contrast, he owes almost $100K. This includes a car we just purchased, where the loan is under his name. So WE together have accrued $35,000 in debt. We needed a car, badly. And, we need to have something that is professional looking.
We need to buy a home together and both of us went through a divorce. I am VERY concerned as he received a HUGe settlement from his divorce assets, cashed out a bunch of RRSP’s and I always see him throwing money around and I never asked what his finances were. I mean, I assumed he was a responsible adult and if he offered to buy dinner or buy season tickets to say, The Blue Jays, that he could afford it.
So here he is, $40K in consumer debt and $60K in car payments. Oh yes, his prized Camaro he just HAS to have. Grrr.
We run a small biz together and we are in our second year. To pay that off is a year salary for him. A year!!!!! There is no way we can do that, and we need to buy a house, and start planning for the future.
We wanted to have invitro…I don’t see how that would be any sort of responsible choice considering I have 3 kids to feed and his debt is skyrocketing.
What do I do? Can I ask to take his cards? Has any of the bees had to deal with this? I have never experienced this-I look at ANY sort of debt a negative, not just “part of living”. I know money is the number one reason couples break up and have arguments.
I can’t even speak to him right now as I am too angry, hurt, confused…like, WTH did your $300K plus go over the last 2 years???!!!
And no, he does NOT do any drugs or have any bad habits. Argh. I feel like this is a dismal situation 🙁
He is also not a typical “provider”…he doesn’t like to work and I know he is a bit lazy in his work style. I have to kinda kick his butt all the time to do work and this is a whole other argument. I do not want to be left supporting him, I have enough on my plate, and his lifestyle and attitude sometimes makes me think maybe he was better off being some 60 year old lady’s boytoy, instead of my future Hubbie.