- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I'm so excited for her but I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy too. Why is it people always get pregnant when they aren't trying? She's only been with her BF 2 months!! We have been ttc for a whole whopping month and a half, but my question is should I hold off until she has the baby? I don't want to steal her "baby thunder" I guess, but at the same time she knows how bad we've been wanting to have a baby.
I don't even want to bring it up to her. What do you guys think?
I am not TTC or even close, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but no. Don't wait for her. You need to live your life on your schedule. She should be happy for you like you are for her. Simple.
I wouldn't wait, in fact it might actually be fun if you were able to raise your babies together.
I don't think that she will care if you are pregnant at the same time.
It'll happen when its supposed to. Don't wait on your friend.
I wouldn't hold off. I think it'd be cool if you were both pregnant at the same time, it gives you another thing to bond over.
Doesn't sound like a situation to be jealous of, for sure! Oh man. Do not plan your life around hers.
Well yay for her! But I would keep trying if I were you. Who knows if it may take a little while and you may not end up pregnant while she is - or maybe you will get pregnant next month! Either way, don't stop your plans. It would be a little while after actually getting pregnant that you would announce it anyways, so I don't think you would be stealing her thunder!
Don't wait, it'll be so much fun to be pregnant at the same time. My sister-in-law is due in a month and her best friend is due two days before her! They are both having boys:)
You absolutley should wait. A true friend wouldn't pregnant copy like that.
I'm completely kidding. Jealousy is normal, rearranging your life because your friend got pregnant first is a bit extreme though.
@ejs4y8: Agree. that's not something to be jealous of.
Your best friend doesn't get to have "baby thunder." Everyone needs to live their life on their schedule and not worry so much about other people.
I think the part that is bugging me the most is the fact that she's known this guy for such a short amount of time. I'm terrified that he won't end up treating her well, or that he will leave. I've known this girl since I was 5 and I can't stand the thought of everything not going perfectly... Call me a Debby Downer, but I have a bad feeling about all of this :/
Maybe it's just my hormones going all whacky since I've gotten off BC, but when we got off the phone I cried. It's not that I'm not over the moon for her, I am, but I know how hard it is to be a mom and I can't stand the thought of her going through it alone. She also doesn't have insurance or anything. I know I need to stop stressing, but I can't seem to help it!
Go ahead and TTC. Most people that have babies do so in their 20s and 30s, it's almost a given that one of your friends of family members will be pregnant at the same time you are.
Just think of this: play dates for the babies!
Well, here's to hoping the guy's not a douchebag and they're more careful in the future =(
Maybe she can go to planned parenthood for treatment?
@troubled: I was going to be mad if you had actually meant that first part! lol
The only reason I would be mad about that would be if you got pregnant BECAUSE she was. My FI's SIL got pregnant because we were and she was hoping she would have the first boy (she had a girl then FI's sister had a girl) and didn't want to give us the chance. Well, they decided to throw a celebration dinner for us because we were having a boy and she announced her pregnancy that night. We were mad at her because of her reasoning. On the other hand, his aunt has been trying to get pregnant for YEARS and hasn't. If she got pregnant durring that time we would have been happy for her because we knew she has been trying. Since your friend knows you want a baby and have been trying for a couple months there is no reason she should get upset...though some people would get mad anyway. I say keep trying because if it's taking you a few months already you don't know if you will get pregnant tomorrow or next year. Don't stop because of your friend.
I would LOVE it if one of my best friends was pregnant with me. Someone else to obsess over stuff with, share "is this normal?" questions with, tell me I'm right even when I'm crazy because she knows it's not my fault... :) Plus, if she's worried about finances, you all could split the expenses of maternity clothes!
@ejs4y8
I don't think she would do that. She sounds so excited... I just don't think she's prepared for what a huge life changing experience this is. I will do everything within my power to be there for her no matter what her decision is. I just hope she knows what she's getting into, and that the guy doesn't freak out and run.
@abbyful: In Springfield, MO we have a place I went to threw my whole pregnancy...The Pregnancy Care Center or PCC. If you take their classes teaching you how to be a parent and how to eat healthy and mentor sessions, etc they give you points for every one. Those points are used to buy clothes for the baby or for you while pregnant, formula, diapers, toys, etc. I got a walker, toys, a bath tub, TONS of clothes, LOTS of diapers, ALL FOR FREE! You can go to them as long as you are in need of help like financially unable to do things on your own up until the baby is 4 months old. I had to buy diapers for the first time last month because they gave me enough diapers to last until he was 5 months old! They really help. If you have one around there I would suggest sending your friend their way, and even going there yourself when you get pregnant if you need it.
@Lozza
as fabulous as that sounds she's a size 22 and I'm an 8... Maternity clothes are hella expensive though and I did keep the majority of mine from my first pregnancy. I'm actually hoping I can't wear them though because I don't plan on gaining 80 lbs again! lol
I have been in a simalar situation. I fell pregnant after being with my SO for nearly 2 years. When I was 2 1/2 months pregnant she found out she was pregnant. At first I was kind of jealous that someone was stealing my thunder so quickly, but then I found out that she'd been with her baby daddy for about 2 or 3 months and that he was married with kids! He ended up leaving her... surprise surprise! But it was really good to be pregnant with someone else :)
So the moral of the story is don't be jealous of someone else because you never know what the story really is(in this situation I mean he may surprise you and be an amazing dad) and you can't live your life around another person. Besides, you've been TTC for a while so screw her!
Planned parenthood provides services besides abortion. i wasn't implying she get her pregnancy "treated"
@ejs4y8
my misunderstanding. I just assumed that's what you meant...
@ejs4y8
Nah, i didn't even think it made you tacky even if that was what you meant. People do it alllll the time when it comes to unplanned pregnancies.
No need to be jealous. Keep TTC. Don't worry about thunder stealing. It's just like with graduations, marriages, buying a house, or basically LIFE. Everyone does it when they are ready. No one puts their life on hold for others.
I've never heard of having to wait for someone to have their baby before you can have yours. I think people should TTC whenever they feel they are ready and not have to wait their turn
I agree with PPs... definitely don't wait! TTC should be a decision between you and your partner. Besides, I am sure she'd be THRILLED to have someone to experience pregnancy, birth, etc with!
@bells
I think I'm thinking (see I don't even know what I'm thinking!) that this will be my second baby, and her first. So I don't want to take the attention, or possibly risk taking away any gifts, that she deserves. We have all the same friends and I want her to get the most (positive) attention that she can. I don't want to take any of that away!
I wouldn't wait. My best friend and I always thought it would be fun to be on mat leave together. Otherwise I'd have to make new mommy friends to hang out with for the year, or go crazy.
I wouldn't wait, if I had someone to be pregnant with at the same time IRL I'd love it! And if she's been your best friend since you were 5 she'll probably be as happy for you as you are for her.
My best friend go pregnant 2 months into a relationship. Believe me, not a joyous time in her life. She loves her kid dearly, but her situation was nothing to be jealous of.
Two of my best friends were pregnant at the same time. One had her daughter a month ago and the other just gave birth to her son on Saturday. At first my friend who was pregnant first was a little peeved about our other friend getting pregnant but then she got over it. She actually ended up really enjoying being able to share the experience with her.
@jamiemichelle: I wouldn't stop trying just because she's pg. Sometimes it can take a while to fall pg. It took me and my partner around 2.5 years because I couldn't get my cycles to regulate. I'm now pg and due January, my brother and his wife are also pg and expecting a baby in February. I'm looking forward to having children close in age.
I wish one of my friends was preggo at the same time as me! I wouldn't stop trying just because of her pregnancy.
I think it would be FANTASTIC if a close friend was pregnant at the same time as me! How great to have someone going through the same stuff at the same time?!
@jamiemichelle: EEP I def wouldn't want to be in her shoes! Only with her BF 2 months? I'd be a wreck if that happened to me! Good luck TTC, though, I know it can be super frustrating :-)
I haven't read other comments so I'm sorry if this is repeating anything someone else has said.
I don't think you need to wait, it will be a great experience for you to share together. I just found out I am pregnant and another couple we are good friends with have decided to get serious about trying. We all want to have kids around the same age (play dates) and be able to experience it together. I am super excited I hope they can convience quickly so that we have some pregnant months together. So this is from a pregnant persons perspective. It would be awesome and you won't be stealing her baby thunder. Besides this is a life changing event that I don't think you should have to put on hold every time a close friend/family member gets pregnant. My sister and two cousins were all with in a month of each other and everyone thought it was great including them. How fun!
Good Luck!!
I completely agree! That could end badly. They are probably still in the early dating bliss stage but honestly how well can they know each other. That would scare me if my NEW boyfriend and I were expecting. I want to know he will be there and do his part.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| Brielle | 31 |
| funkymunky85 | 26 |
| beargoose | 24 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| rebwana | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| his chippymunk | 23 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| BoiledPNut | 2 |
| MarryMeTiffany | 2 |
| foodnerd81 | 2 |
| bunnylovesbear | 1 |
| bebefly | 1 |
| keepsmiling19 | 1 |
| basketballwifetobe | 1 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 1 |
| KT808 | 1 |
| chastenet | 1 |
