Post # 1
I feel like I should be prepared for this, she has been living in assisted care for almost two years now, and yet I feel completly devastated. In the end, she will be gone. Whether she has been sick for years or was struck by a car it is the same hollow feeling of loss that is overwhelming me right now.
I got a call from my uncle, she has a hole in her small intestine and either it, or the surgery will kill her. They give her 5 days, 7 tops. I lost my father five years ago and every sad time brings up all of this unhashed sorrow.
I just want to be selfish and spend hours to myself thinking about her and wallow in my memories and try to recall her voice and her laugh and reinforce every detail I can remember so that it is so engraved in my memory that I will never forget.
Throughout my entire life she has been my favourite person, my go-to, my shoulder to cry on. She is the reason I am in the career I am today. All my creativity she encouraged, my dreams she helped flourish.
Now I just wait for that call….
Post # 3
I am so sorry. I know it hurts. I have lost to many loved ones. I will be praying for you and your family. (hugs)
Post # 4
I’m so sorry to hear this… I lost my grandmother last December and it’s still hard. She, like yours, was my ‘go to’ woman, and I loved her and still love her so dearly. I know you said you ‘should’ be prepared but no one really is with a death of a loved one. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Is there anyway you can be with her?
Post # 5
im so sorry….we are all her if you need anything. we are sending you lots of hugs!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry. I lost one of my grandmothers a few years ago. It is so hard to lose a grandparent. May your sweet memories of her provide some comfort during this difficult time.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Huge hugs.
Post # 8
I echo the bees above. I lost my grandmother last November, and she was very near and dear to both Mr.ND and me. She’d been ill for a while, too, but it doesn’t matter, you can’t prepare yourself.
Can you go spend time with her? Or see if your uncle or someone at the care center can set up a skype visit at all so you can talk to her? I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. *hugs*
Post # 9
🙁 I am so sorry. DH’s grandma passed away from cancer 2 weeks before our wedding. In one way, it was very fast and in another, very slow. She only found out she had cancer 30 days before she passed away, but we sat there watching for what seemed like forever, watching her fade away…which was incredibly devastating.
I wish I could say something to help you, but just know that you have lots of support here. And, allow yourself to cry and feel sad, sometimes its a relief to let it all out. **hugs**
Post # 10
I’m so sorry, I’m in a similar situation right now and there are no words to describe the feeling and definetley no words that make you feel better.
Allow yourself to grieve, better now than later, if you have a chance go to her and say goodbye in person, even if it’s by phone, it’s an awfully hard thing to do but at the end of the day it helps with the grieving process. People always say things like be strong and wish you resignation, that’s something that will eventually come, right now allow yourself to think about her in your own terms.
Post # 11
My condolences. Can you call her or go see her? She sounds like a wonderful person.
Post # 12
I can hardly type through my tears! You all are so wonderful.
She was moved three hours away for this care centre, and while I can make the trip to see her, she is in and out of consciousness and given high doses of pain killers. I believe she isn’t speaking or acknowledging my uncle or doctors/nurses. I feel like I would rather not see her in that state…
The waiting is already so hard…
Post # 13
@MissLibra: ***HUGS*** I know how difficult losing a grandmother can be as I lost mine about a year and a half ago. I was out of the country when I first learned that they started her on morphine for pain. Seeing her on her death bed was not easy, but I am really glad that I was able to see her and tell her how much I loved her before she passed. Sitting next to her bed and holding her hand was oddly comforting. Seeing how much she was suffering helped ease the pain of her death because I knew that she would suffer no more.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with a dying loved one. If you cannot bear to see her like this, maybe you can ask your uncle to tell her that you love her. It may help you to feel a little more at peace.
It’s ok to remember everything about her. . .her voice, her smile, her smell. . .and cry. It’s not at all selfish to take time for yourself to mourn. Remember all of the good times you shared with her. Those are the things that will help you get through this.
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Post # 14
Sorry dear. 🙁 Nothing will make it easier, except time. Sending love and prayers your way!!!