Post # 1
Hello bee’s I need some opinions. Please forgive all spelling errors since i am on a small touch screen phone.
My husbands grandmother (who we live with and she raised him) has stage 4 Lymphoma… she had a liver transplant a year ago & has been in the hospital for two weeks due to other issues and is now on dyalisis.
we were pretty much told that there was nothing that could be done for her & they couldnt give a time frame for how much longer she would live.. the only thing they could do was give her some sort of meds to help prolong her life & with pain.
now my husband and i have been married (at the courthouse no reception) for nearly 2 years.. weve been preparing for a Catholic ceremony along with a backyard very simple taco man/stand reception with a dj. Set for May 14 2011.
I dont know if we should continue with our plans or just have the ceremony asap with no reception. All thats been paid for is my dress & 150.00 for tables and chairs..
what would you do?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear this. Would husband’s grandma be able to attend the ceremony if she is in the hospital? If she would not be able to attend, I would go ahead with what you’ve planned. Since you are already married, could you have the priest perform a blessing at the hospital? Can you ask your husband’s parents what they think?
Post # 4
I honestly don’t know what I’d do. I think if possible you should discuss it with Grandmother and see if she has a preference. Take care.
Post # 5
Oh goodness! First, I’m sorry and wish I could give you hugs. I think you should talk to him about how important it is to both of you to have her there and if you could possibly pull it together in time. My only worry with that is without having any sort of time frame it could happen before you get everything together. You could also ask her how she feels about it. My FI’s father didn’t want us to change our plans, he just wanted us to do what made us happy that was enough for him.
Post # 6
Thank you all for your thoughts. I talked to my husband about it and he said he had to think about it but would decide within a week or two.
My In-laws are not Catholic (with all due respect) so I think this ceremony isnt as important to them as it is for us. It does not bother me as I accept everyones beliefs, different from mine or same. So either ways they havent been “excited” as I have or my parents/aunts and uncles have.
We will see what happens. Thanks for your hugs.
Post # 7
Sorry to hear the news about your Grandmother-in-law I’m sure it’s a very emotional time for everyone in the family. I would probably approach your GIL and see what she prefers, as well as your husbands parents (related to Grandmother). I really like rileyjane’s idea of having a priest perform a blessing at her bedside in the hospital. This way she would feel part of your celebration of love. Hugs!
Post # 8
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I would agree with the bees above, find out if your grandmother will be able to attend. But if it were I would go ahead and move everything up asap and if its a small backyard wedding, I am sure you can arrange everything for a small reception too. Also, if you share your story and reasons, some vendors might even be able to work with you regarding refund or change of date. Goodluck!
Post # 9
His grandmother will be able to come home in about a week. She will be living with us with hospice care. They will be giving her treatment and chemo once her kidneys are better. We just dont have a time frame for how much longer she will be here with us because the doctors say that given her circumstances there will be no cure of the cancer. I am afraid that we go on with everything pay for it all and then have the worst happen. We can not push the date sooner because we are still completing all of the requirements that the Catholic Church requires and we will not be able to finish everything until May 3, 2011 (husband is in RCIA process).
I will keep you all updated. Thanks for the support!