(Closed) Just got caught..

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m glad that he reacted so well.  I can’t help but wonder, does he get like that any time your ex’s are brought up?  Just because you closed the laptop doesn’t automatically mean that you are looking at your ex’s pages.  I know he has had people cheat on him but still, he has to realize you are a different person than them.  Good luck with your wait though!

Post # 4
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Woops. Glad your guy was pretty cool about the whole thing overall. I have to be honest, if my Fiance was using his laptop but shielding was he was looking at from me, I’d be concerned, too. I’m glad you opened up to him. 🙂

Post # 5
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

hmmmm… “I closed my laptop slightly and he questioned what I was looking at, to which I said, “I was just on Facebook”, which was a mistake because he immediately thought I was looking at an ex’s page (not that I could because I’ve blocked them all) and the last thing I wanted was for him to think that, he had an ex cheat on him repetitively so thats not a place I want to go. I thought it would be better to show him the page and have him know I was anxious (as if he didn’t already know) rather than have him worried about anything so came clean.”

Hopefully he gets over the trust issue first and foremost. You shouldn’t have to be giving him an explanation about what you’re looking at online, that’s your private business. The fact that he’d just automatically assume you were looking up an ex raises a bit of a red flag.

Post # 6
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is he always like that? I don’t think my guy has ever once asked what I was looking at on my computer, in several years together. You really shouldn’t have to explain yourself.

Post # 8
2026 posts
Buzzing bee

Pfft, I bought AND READ these two books in front of SO – even shared some of the info with him that we both found interesting. Or at least he lied and said it was interesting as well…

Why Hasn't He Proposed?: Go from the First Date to Setting the Date

She Wants a Ring--and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing: How a Man Can Overcome His Fears of Commitment and Marriage

Post # 9
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wasn’t subtle at all. I was shy about the topic at first, but once we had decided we did want to get engaged soon, I got soooo impatient. After MONTHS of birthdays, christmas, out of town vacations, and all sorts of “perfect moments” I got so frustrated I finally said “if you don’t get around to proposing soon then I’d rather you not. I’m getting to built up waiting and waiting, it’s just turning into a constant let down and ruining all the moments that I thought you were going to. Not to say I want to end things, I want to be with you married or not, but I’m tired of waiting for you to ask me!” he said “Geez! I’m trying to, but it takes a lot of effort to plan the perfect proposal!” but it was all good. His perfect proposal was on a beach in Hawaii under a full moon. Sometimes getting “caught” is great to help get the ball rolling. But after the “talk” waiting is miserable!

Post # 10
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s good that it opened up a positive dialogue about it! Sometimes I think that all the waiting ladies who haven’t yet talked about it with their SOs should purposefully get caught looking at wedding stuff because it seems to be THE single thing that opens up that dialogue and gets the ball rolling for 99% of us here, haha.

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