Just got engaged, and two things have happened.

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013


gisekaotic:  Regarding the touching of the stone — well, diamonds attract oils and dirt, so you’re gonna have to wipe it off each time.

Regarding the wedding — if someone asks you that you don’t plan on inviting, just say you haven’t set a date yet.  Simple as that.

Post # 3
103 posts
Blushing bee

Let’s see the ring!!!!

Post # 4
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

gisekaotic:  People touch my stone all the time and I have no idea why, but it secretly drives me CRAZY! It seems to happen especially when it’s first cleaned. All that cleanin’ for nothin’. But yeah, it happens. 

As for people expecting to be invited to your wedding…that happens too. You can either change the subject, or, as the wedding gets closer and people more rudely and candidly ask if they are invited, you may simply reply, “oh, we haven’t finalized the guest list yet!” 

Post # 5
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

gisekaotic:  Man… Some people just don’t have etiquette… I would say the next time someone wants to touch your ring “You break it, You buy it.” They might be more inclined to leave your hand where it is. Hahaha, but that’s just my sarcasm.

Post a pic of you ring btw!! Lots of ring gals on here that want to see the bling bling… Without touching the stone of course 😉

CONGRATS on your engagement OP!! Best wishes!

Post # 6
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014



I am very protective on my ring too and hate it when people use their thumb keep touching the stone… but I just have to suck it up and wash my hand with soap heavily hahaha


so if it bother you, just excuse yourself and run straight to washroom to use soap (bubble) to clean the finger print and it will shine again!!

Post # 7
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

People would touch my ring like that too! So weird! Don’t put your grimey fingers on my diamond! LOL.

I can’t remember anyone being so presumptuous about being invited to our wedding except my previous boss. When I first got engaged he told me he knew what he would be buying me for my wedding, which was a Dyson vacuum! I left the company nine months before my wedding. I didn’t invite him because I left the company because of the way he treated me. I ended up seeing him somewhere six months after the wedding and he asked why he wasn’t invited! I made up something about how we had to invite extra cousins and extended family but who asks that question?! Then he told me how I lost out on the Dyson…um ok.

Post # 8
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ugh, some people just have no etiquette!

First, I’m not engaged yet and have no experience to speak of with this, but I would probably also be bothered if people kept touching my stone. On the one hand, it’s going to get fingerprints, dirt, and oil on it anyway (including the diamond) simply because you’re wearing it, but I know that I personally never, ever grab someone’s hand or touch their ring unless they specifically invite me to do so. I’ll ask, “Can I see it?” and simply admire with my eyes. I dunno, I just don’t want to risk invading someone’s personal space. One of my friends was so laid-back and popped it off her finger and let me try it on, but I made sure to give it back in a hurry!

I’m not really sure of a tactful way to discourage people from grabbing your hand and touching your stone. If someone is being super obnoxious or careless, then politely reprimand. Otherwise, make sure you have a ring cleaner at home?

Second, people inviting themselves to a wedding is so NOT okay. I agree with PPs to keep your date vague. I know you know the month, but just say that you haven’t set a date yet or that it will be sometime in (insert season).

Good luck, OP! And congrats on the engagement!

Post # 9
7194 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

People touch my stone ALL.THE.TIME. It is so annoying, but I don’t say anything and just rub it off after they’re gone.

Post # 10
56 posts
Worker bee

That is so weird! I’m super weird about people touching me in general so I can’t imagine walking up to someone, even if it was someone I know, and putting my fingers all over their jewelry. I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me so I would simply admire the ring if you held out your hand. I have heard of people doing this type of thing though. I actually had a friend who got engaged and was asked by a stranger in one of her classes if he could hold her ring. Uhhhh…no?

Post # 11
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

I had a girl do that to me when I showed her my ring. She started moving my hand around to see it sparkle and then she put her thumb on it and left a big print on it. It did upset me but it only happened once. If you don’t want your co-workers to auto-invite themselves just say is going to be a small wedding. Whenever they ask you just say that you guys are having a small wedding in November or a family wedding in November before they can even invite themselves. I have not had anyone do that to me because is a destination wedding.

Post # 12
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’ve never understood why that bothers people unless they’re a germaphobe. A diamond can be cleaned very easily & it gets dirty from just day to day wear. You get it way more dirty than anyone looking at it. Be happy they’re happy for you! 

Post # 13
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmmm, I’ve never had anyone touch my stone, ever. Grab my hand, sure. Ask to wear it-yep. Play guess the carat weight-all the time. But never touch it. Since a well cut diamond doesn’t have to be cleaned often to keep its sparkle, I guess I’d just be annoyed if their hands were lotion-y or something to warrant a cleaning.

As for they wedding date, they could just be making conversation. If they don’t know too much about your FI, the only way to go for small talk is to ask questions about the wedding.

Post # 15
498 posts
Helper bee

Your ring is a stunner!!! Weird that so many people think it’s ok to put a thumb print on your precious ring. That’s pretty rude.  I would carry a glasses polishing cloth in my purse!  

Speaking of rude, I was trying on some RHRs last week and one got stuck on my big knuckle. I asked the staff member if she had any hand cream – surprisingly, she was delighted and said “don’t worry, this happens a lot and I’m so happy you didn’t put your knuckle in your mouth to get it off”.  EWWWW!  According to her, so many women basically slobber all over their knuckles then hand the slobbery ring back to the staff member so she has to handle saliva-covered rings.  Gross!! 

I’d just say that you’re having a small family wedding in November, and hopefully that would stop them inviting themselves.  

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