Post # 1
- Wedding: January 2016 - The Wynn Las Vegas
Hello bees! So, I just got engaged last Saturday and I’ve had two things happen that kind of bother me but I don’t know if it’s just because I’m weird or if it’s just a normal thing that happens when you tell someone (or they find out you’re engaged), specially the first one. LOL!
The first thing is, people keep touching the stone on my ring. Like just completely putting their thumbs and all other fingers on it. They take my hand, for a closer look I guess (which is ok) but then they like put their thumb (or other finger) on it and start moving it around and saying how sparkly and pretty and nice it is (which I totally appreciate), but do they really have to put their fingers all over the stone? LOL! It’s probably just me, but then I can’t help but kind of notice all of the finger prints on it and I just want to clean it all the time. I’m thinking I feel overprotective of it because I JUST got it and I really want to take care of it =P and this feeling will probably go away later when (hopefully) I stop looking at it and smiling like an idiot, LOL! So I really don’t say anything because I don’t want to come off as rude. But, have you had this happened? How did you feel and what did you do?
And second, after they see it and congratulate me, their next question is when is the wedding, and I just tell them it will be November of next year. And some of them have said ‘Great! I’ll be there! Can’t wait!’ And these are mostly coworkers, but I barely interact with them. I do spend most of my life at work (sadly) but I barely interact with people. I have most of them on Facebook and all but we’re not really that close. We don’t hangout or anything. I have my own office and I only work closely with just a few people. So, I think it’s weird that they would say that. When they say it I just don’t know how to react so I’ve just been kind of smiling and saying, gotta go! Lol! Have you had this happened? How did you react?
Post # 2
gisekaotic: Regarding the touching of the stone — well, diamonds attract oils and dirt, so you’re gonna have to wipe it off each time.
Regarding the wedding — if someone asks you that you don’t plan on inviting, just say you haven’t set a date yet. Simple as that.
Post # 4
gisekaotic: People touch my stone all the time and I have no idea why, but it secretly drives me CRAZY! It seems to happen especially when it’s first cleaned. All that cleanin’ for nothin’. But yeah, it happens.
As for people expecting to be invited to your wedding…that happens too. You can either change the subject, or, as the wedding gets closer and people more rudely and candidly ask if they are invited, you may simply reply, “oh, we haven’t finalized the guest list yet!”
Post # 5
gisekaotic: Man… Some people just don’t have etiquette… I would say the next time someone wants to touch your ring “You break it, You buy it.” They might be more inclined to leave your hand where it is. Hahaha, but that’s just my sarcasm.
Post a pic of you ring btw!! Lots of ring gals on here that want to see the bling bling… Without touching the stone of course 😉
CONGRATS on your engagement OP!! Best wishes!
Post # 6
I am very protective on my ring too and hate it when people use their thumb keep touching the stone… but I just have to suck it up and wash my hand with soap heavily hahaha
so if it bother you, just excuse yourself and run straight to washroom to use soap (bubble) to clean the finger print and it will shine again!!
Post # 7
People would touch my ring like that too! So weird! Don’t put your grimey fingers on my diamond! LOL.
I can’t remember anyone being so presumptuous about being invited to our wedding except my previous boss. When I first got engaged he told me he knew what he would be buying me for my wedding, which was a Dyson vacuum! I left the company nine months before my wedding. I didn’t invite him because I left the company because of the way he treated me. I ended up seeing him somewhere six months after the wedding and he asked why he wasn’t invited! I made up something about how we had to invite extra cousins and extended family but who asks that question?! Then he told me how I lost out on the Dyson…um ok.
Post # 8
Ugh, some people just have no etiquette!
First, I’m not engaged yet and have no experience to speak of with this, but I would probably also be bothered if people kept touching my stone. On the one hand, it’s going to get fingerprints, dirt, and oil on it anyway (including the diamond) simply because you’re wearing it, but I know that I personally never, ever grab someone’s hand or touch their ring unless they specifically invite me to do so. I’ll ask, “Can I see it?” and simply admire with my eyes. I dunno, I just don’t want to risk invading someone’s personal space. One of my friends was so laid-back and popped it off her finger and let me try it on, but I made sure to give it back in a hurry!
I’m not really sure of a tactful way to discourage people from grabbing your hand and touching your stone. If someone is being super obnoxious or careless, then politely reprimand. Otherwise, make sure you have a ring cleaner at home?
Second, people inviting themselves to a wedding is so NOT okay. I agree with PPs to keep your date vague. I know you know the month, but just say that you haven’t set a date yet or that it will be sometime in (insert season).
Good luck, OP! And congrats on the engagement!
Post # 9
People touch my stone ALL.THE.TIME. It is so annoying, but I don’t say anything and just rub it off after they’re gone.
Post # 10
That is so weird! I’m super weird about people touching me in general so I can’t imagine walking up to someone, even if it was someone I know, and putting my fingers all over their jewelry. I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me so I would simply admire the ring if you held out your hand. I have heard of people doing this type of thing though. I actually had a friend who got engaged and was asked by a stranger in one of her classes if he could hold her ring. Uhhhh…no?
Post # 11
- Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
I had a girl do that to me when I showed her my ring. She started moving my hand around to see it sparkle and then she put her thumb on it and left a big print on it. It did upset me but it only happened once. If you don’t want your co-workers to auto-invite themselves just say is going to be a small wedding. Whenever they ask you just say that you guys are having a small wedding in November or a family wedding in November before they can even invite themselves. I have not had anyone do that to me because is a destination wedding.
Post # 12
I’ve never understood why that bothers people unless they’re a germaphobe. A diamond can be cleaned very easily & it gets dirty from just day to day wear. You get it way more dirty than anyone looking at it. Be happy they’re happy for you!
Post # 13
Hmmm, I’ve never had anyone touch my stone, ever. Grab my hand, sure. Ask to wear it-yep. Play guess the carat weight-all the time. But never touch it. Since a well cut diamond doesn’t have to be cleaned often to keep its sparkle, I guess I’d just be annoyed if their hands were lotion-y or something to warrant a cleaning.
As for they wedding date, they could just be making conversation. If they don’t know too much about your FI, the only way to go for small talk is to ask questions about the wedding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: January 2016 - The Wynn Las Vegas
Right?! I have friends who have gotten engaged in the past 6 months and I would have NEVER thought of putting my finger right on the diamond! It’s so weird! I mean, are you really looking at it? Because your huge thumb is covering the whole thing! LOL! I do appreciate them but I can’t really help it, I think it’s a little weird and it bothers me a little.
Good idea! I think I’ll just say it will be sometime next winter. =P
Oh! Oh! Something super embarrassing that keeps happening. When I’m walking I walk with my hand in front of me to make it sparkle with the light and it’s funny because I swear people look at me like “yeah, you just got that, huh?” 😉 hahaha!
Yes! Pics! I secretly love to show it off!
I’m on my iPad and for some reason it won’t let me post pics, but here is the thread; http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/im-engaged-pics-of-my-beautiful-ring/
Post # 15
Your ring is a stunner!!! Weird that so many people think it’s ok to put a thumb print on your precious ring. That’s pretty rude. I would carry a glasses polishing cloth in my purse!
Speaking of rude, I was trying on some RHRs last week and one got stuck on my big knuckle. I asked the staff member if she had any hand cream – surprisingly, she was delighted and said “don’t worry, this happens a lot and I’m so happy you didn’t put your knuckle in your mouth to get it off”. EWWWW! According to her, so many women basically slobber all over their knuckles then hand the slobbery ring back to the staff member so she has to handle saliva-covered rings. Gross!!
I’d just say that you’re having a small family wedding in November, and hopefully that would stop them inviting themselves.