Just got engaged – confused about planning!

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
1653 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@OrchidsandCandles:  Congrats!  I would say that you and your FI should first figure out time of year that you’d like to get married.  Then, start looking at places that fit your parents budget.  Once that is set and you have a date-then book all your major vendors-photog, catering, DJ, cake, flowers, officiant. Then all the other more detailed stuff-decor, dress, ceremony timeline, etc. 

Post # 4
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Love the cakes and dress! wish my culture had traditional wedding dress instead of just the usual white attire.

Post # 5
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Try to figure out the time of you you would like to get married and then look at booking your vendors about a year out from the wedding.  If they are very sought after locations, you might have to have more than a year planning time though.


Post # 6
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d say your venue(s) should be the first thing you look for once you nail down some details with your family. Even if you book it a year before you start planning anything else, you’ll have a much better shot at getting your first choice. We actually had our appointments booked to tour our venues before I officially had the ring on my finger, just because we had a very specific date in mind (and I knew he’d already bought the ring). For me, the checklists on WeddingWire and TheKnot helped me prioritize a lot. I didn’t necessarily follow everything to the letter, but it gave me some framework to base my planning.

Post # 7
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It sound like you guys have a great start! I would do it a little differently than recommended above (just based on my experience). I would (a) get an idea of how many people you may want to invite; (b) set a realistic budget (ie: sit down with your parents and talk real money stuff; no assumptions – this may require some preliminary cost research); (c) decide what time of year/time frame you are interested in (sometimes this helps those you want to come to be able to show up and/or helps the budget); and then, (d) look at venues.

You really need an idea of how many people you need to accommodate and how much you can afford before you look at venues; otherwise, you’ll be like a lot of sad Bees on here who are desparately trying to cut down their guest list to fit their dream venue. If you never saw the venue, you don’t have to experience this heartache of cutting people. Just my opinion.

Finally, a tip I don’t see floating around much that I wish I’d heard: if you are going to do save the dates (American thing?), don’t send it to someone unless you are absolutely sure they should be invited. We had some guest list growth issues by the time invitations had to go out because our friend group/important people had changed and we needed to accommodate them. As my FI said, this is about our future, not our past. It’s not a reunion, but a way to build your community moving forward into your married life. Hopefully you won’t have this issue, but we did.

Finally, have fun!

Post # 8
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012


Etiquette Snob here… lol

I cannot stress enough how important it is to start doing your Reading & Research BEFORE anything else.

Go out and buy yourself an Etiquette Book (one that is relative to the UK)

The more you read & understand, the fewer faux pas / mistakes… and stepped on toes later (and money saved)

Next work on your Guest List & Budget.  You really cannot begin the whole detailed planning until you accurately know how much money you have to work with… and how many people you wish to (or realistically can afford) invite.

Once you know all that stuff, the rest will fall into place

Don’t be the gal who sends out STDs without doing your homework first… you need to know Guest List & Budget BEFORE you know Date and Venue.

It gets very awkward to find yourself in a spot where you’ve sent out STDs BEFORE you’ve discovered you cannot have a sit-down dinner for 200… and you have to change directions overall so that either you can share your day with 200… or you can only afford to host 100 or less for a Sit Down Meal.

Having done the research & your homework, you’ll benefit from added flexibility in setting out what you get to happen overall.

Hope this helps,

PS… Photos & Vision are GORGEOUS !!


Post # 11
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

When I got engaged I also had no idea where to start. Even though you don’t plan on starting “to plan” until next september there are a few things you can get out of the way beforehand. I used websites like the knot. It has a timeline and a checklist of things you need to get done, and in what timeframe to do them!


Honestly, If it weren’t for that site. I would be buried up to my head in things that needed to get done. I am 2.5 weeks away from my wedding and I am completely finished!! Everyone is so surprised and I am enjoying these last few weeks being stress free! =) Happy planning!

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