Just got into an argument with DH over his dog

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

A dog that young isn’t “trained” simply because they know a couple of commands. Some dogs needs continuous training and reinforcement of that training. I think the fact that she DIDN’T bite your husband, despite her defensive instincts, is a sign that she is learning what is and isn’t okay in your household. She is young and she hasn’t been with you guys for very long and I think expecting her to be trained overnight is unreasonable, especially if she is a rescue.

I get that you worry about your baby, but I don’t think that your husband’s attachment or resistance to just giving a dog away is childish. If I were you I would try to keep the peace and not only send the dog to obedience school but also ATTEND the school as well with the dog as a couple, if you can. That way the dog knows both of you are her masters and she doesn’t listen to one of you over the other. If things don’t work out after that then perhaps it is best to find her a loving home. Then at least your husband will know you gave it a fair shot and she will likely be able to find a better one after attending training anyway.

Post # 4
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Fall_In_Love22:  I think the dog is still very young and continual training is the key to her behavioral issues.  With that said, I do understand your frustration of your DH bringin the dog home without you having much say in picking out the dog.  I think give it some more time.  If however you do fear for the safety of your baby, I would try to find a loving home that has more patience to train the dog.

Post # 5
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well… the dog clearly is NOT trained, because if she were she would understand who rules the house, and what her boundaries are. She sounds like she thinks she is the dominant being, which she absolutely is not and should not think that. I would address the lack of proper behavior with him and give him a chance to train the dog properly. She’s old enough that she should know not to bite, to come when called, and how to act appropriately, so age is not a factor here. You also have to take an active part in training the dog and making sure the dog knows that you are also an alpha. Even though your husband wanted the dog, the dog lives with both of you and it needs to learn to respect and obey both of you.

Post # 6
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@SunflowerGarden:  +1 about your entire first paragraph and OP attending obedience class.  Rehoming a dog is a big deal (to people who like dogs).

Post # 7
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

To me, a dog isn’t just a dog. It’s a member of my family. That clearly isn’t how you feel but maybe your husband feels this way? Instead of accusing him of acting like a little kid, maybe you should consider his feelings. 

Post # 8
7188 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

A dog like that is a danger to your baby. In my opinion, she needs a new home where she can be trained in an environment without kids.

Post # 9
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What kind of dog is it? If it’s a small dog, or a dog that pulls while walking, or if you’re just worried about the dog getting out of its collar, get a harness instead. No matter how trained your dog might be, it’s still an animal, and a year and a half is still a puppy. I would definitely do behavioral training, and mention your baby to the trainer. Maybe they’ll have some lessons that involve your child.

Post # 10
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Fall_In_Love22:  The dog is too young to be expected to hit all of its marks….you’re going to get misbehavior, ignoring commands, and if the dog is that young and mouthy…which isn’t the same as bitey….she’s just exploring the world and people around her the ONLY way she can…with her mouth.

Frankly, I would have taken the dog with me too…its obvious you have little patience for the animal and throwing the Kid card at your husband, as if this animal is a vile threat to their lives and safety is kind of low.

And for what its worth, if your husband was manhandling her in an attempt to drag her inside…trying to stop him, with the only means she has, also known as biting, does not make her dangerous….just because you own something doesn’t give you the right to drag it around and not expect a reaction.


Post # 11
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you need to stop thinking about the dog as “his dog”

You’re married, you apparently have kids, and unless you teach your kids to hate dogs too, the dog is now a family dog, not just your husband’s dog. You need to interact with the dog as well, and help your husband with continued training. Most dogs aren’t considered adults until over 2 years of age, so right now you’re dealing with a “teenage” dog and everything that comes with it. Training needs to be a regular consistent thing coming from everyone in the household, otherwise it just won’t work. 

When the dog is actually trained everyone, including your children, should be able to handle the dog. My dogs were taught commands with hand signals, so even my young nieces can control them. But that doesn’t mean my dogs are trained and now I’m done. It’s an on going thing, and training and good behavior needs to be constantly reinforced throughout the life of the dog

Post # 12
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@SunflowerGarden:  +1.  

This has the potential to be a huge issue between the two of you and cause lasting resentment unless you both step back and look at it from each others’ perspectives. You DID agree to this arrangement, so you can’t go into it “hating” dogs. Granted, he shouldn’t have gotten one without you there, but you’re going to have to let that go. Try to approach this with the best possible outcome as your ideal goal– not simply rehoming the dog and being done.

I really like the idea of you attending the training with the dog.  Properly trained, this dog could be a wonderful companion to your baby– maybe even YOU one day! 

Post # 13
643 posts
Busy bee

@Nona99:  +1,000.  

OP, I’m a dog person through and through. I’ve had and trained them all my life. However, you’re clearly not so your husband needs to work with you. Getting a trainer who can help you both (the dog needs to listen to you, too) is really important. 

I’ve had truly aggressive dogs and I’m not saying yours isn’t without evaluating her. However, based on what you described, that is not aggressive behaviour. Boundaries and rules enforced with consistency is so important. 

There is still hope for this dog! I’d be entirely devastated if my husband wanted me to rehome a dog and to be honest, I very likely wouldn’t do it. Then again, he shouldn’t have gotten a family pet without your input. 

Now that you already have her, I hope you are both willing to work with her. If your dog is happy, balanced, and trained then I think you will be entirely surprised by how much value she can add to your life and the responsibility and compassion she can teach your child. 

Post # 14
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Nona99:  This +1000000

I’m not even sure I know what else to add besides calling your DH childish for rehoming her which is something you wanted in the first place says a lot about yourself…I understand not being a dog person, but then you don’t allow a dog in the house, and if you do you claim equal responsibility and don’t blame everything on “his” dog just becuase you don’t like her.

Post # 16
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

What was the behavior when she tried to bite? Bared teeth, growling, snarling? Generally speaking if a dog wants to bite it’s going to, there’s not really “trying” involved. Either it bit or it didn’t.

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