- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I think I’m just a lite bit too tired these days. I just need to lay it all out and evaluate it I think. Maybe you guys can give me some insight, or advice or what not. Maybe I will just babble and it won’t make much sense.. Hard to tell this early on.
I should start of by saying that this might come off as first world problemy. I don’t mean to be humble braggy, I just mean that as much as these might not seem like ‘real’ problems, they’re just what’s weighing on me now.
I think I might be stretching myself just a little too thin. I know, in a big giant whiner. I’m not the first full time university student to work as well and try to manage their life. And sure, welcome to the real world, all work no play. I get all that and I don’t want to sound like I dont want to work for what I earn.
I guess the endless hours of lectures and homework and work and workshops squeezed in the middle just has me feeling bummed. I have this psych assignment I have to get done by Tuesday and in halfway there but I just can’t muster the courage to get it done so I don’t have to worry about it tomorrow. I need my motivation back?
Im so excited about school, to be here.. I’m having a blast! Or supposed to be anyways. Today I just feel like in drowning in literature and papers. I want to close my eyes and it all to be over tomorrow. The exams and big papers and starting to bear down on me quickly and I’m up to my eyeballs in things at work that I barely understand and have to sort out and organize and I barely know where to begin on any of it.
I suppose I will curl up in bed and crawl back out at five ready to drink coffee and power through some more stuff. Tomorrow I have the pleasure of an 8-5 workshop and then a class 6-9 and then up again the next morning for classes allllll day long. It’s a peach, I tell ya.
Maybe I need to find some time (ha) to take a yoga class or something and calm my mind. I just need so a peace and calm in my life. Everything is so fast and stressful, it’s seriously not an inviting head space to be in. I like my zen. I like to feel calm and cool and collected. I feel none of those things right now. I feel scrambled, stretched, disorganized, discouraged and like I am all over the map. I can’t keep my head screwed on straight, I can’t keep my house clean, I can’t even remember to make lunch half the time.
You can probably even tell a little by this post.. Im a little confused and discombobulated. It can’t last or ever though right? I can keep my santy, motor through and man up on this one.. I swear I can. I can’t give in now and I’m too young to go crazy.
I’ll be like the little engine that could. If I think I can, I can. That’s the way it’s got to be.
For now, tequila and sleep should keep my sanity right?