Post # 1
heres a little background
So my husband and i got married the begining of the year, coming up to our one year anniversary. my brother got married 6 months later, my best friend got engaged one month before my wedding, and got married 7 months after my wedding.
i told my husband i wanted to start having kids right away! he was excited and said he did too! we were starting the best part of our life yet!!
well before my wedding, my mother told me not to get pregnant before my brothers wedding, she said it would take the attention off of him and his wife and put it on me and it wasnt fair. my brother also expressed that he wanted me to wait. at the same time, (even though she only got engaged a month before my wedding) my best friend told me she would be upset if i got pregnant before her wedding.
my husband and i went on a three week amazing honeymoon, the most relaxed we had been in our 4 year relationship. it was truly one of the best times of our lives! i stayed on birth control, looking back, i was just trying to keep everyone happy and i should have just done what my husband and i wanted.
that was the last time my husband and i spent that many nights together, due to his job and mine, we only spend 3 nights/day a week together. every month we try to conceive it doesnt work, well last week my best friend told me shes pregnant. they got pregnant on there honeymoon. today my brother informed his wife was pregnant, they also got pregnant on there honey moon.
i know this is selfish, but im upset, and sad. mostly disappointed. i cant help it, im sitting at work today practically in tears. we cant get pregnant but everyone that asked us to wait are now pregnant and happily moving on with there lives.
im sorry this is a pity party post. i cant talk to anyone about it because i honestly am happy for them, im just sad i guess.
Post # 3
@beebeebee1111: Just reading the beginning of your post I was like oh I’m gonna tell this girl to not wait, but I see some time has passed. You should always do what’s right for you, but unfortunately you put your needs behind theirs. I hope you get a BFP soon.
Post # 4
@beebeebee1111: That’s why you do what makes you happy. Live life for you and your DH not for others. They have a life to live. It’s hard to make everyone happy and most importantly-be happy and guilt-free. I really wish you get your BFP soon, and I am sure you will.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you’re in this crappy situation! That really sucks.
How long have you been TTC? I’m sure you’ll get your BFP soon!
Post # 6
i get it– and i’d be sad as well. ttc can be so unpredictable, but just focus on your journey and perhaps share your feelings with your mom to get some of the resent off your chest and to vent. it’s okay to feel the way you do.
Post # 7
we came home from the honeymoon and i went off birth control. i had a conversation with my husband after we came home and we decided to just try and see what happends instead of listening to everyone else. unfortuantelly due to our schedulaes, its been 7 cycles now and no luck. i think just having everyone get pregnant so easy on there honeymoons when i was asked not to to do that just stings so bad. i just want to curl inside myself for the next month. i was ok when it was taking longer than expected, then my best freind got pregnant, and i kept saying its ok, it will be fine, it will happen, then my brother and idk why, but its hitting me harder now. i had my mom messaging me and telling me im too stressed and needed to calm down or i would never get pregnant… now i just want to shove those words back in her face. we arnt like normal couples, normal couples can have sex everyday every month. we dont see eachother 4 or 5 days a week, we dont have that luxury.
Post # 8
@beebeebee1111: I’m really sorry you are going through this. Going forward, definitely put you and your DH’s wishes ahead of those of your family. I don’t think you mom ever should have asked you to hold off- it really wasn’t her place to say anything. FX you get your bfp soon:)
Post # 9
@beebeebee1111: I’m sorry that happened to you! What is done is done but I’m sure you’ll have a lovely baby soon, and look on the brightside: you got some extra time to enjoy being a newlywed which is also very exciting!
I don’t get the whole taking attention away. Me and FI got engaged a month or so after FSIL announced her pregnancy and she got all upset because she thinks we are stealing the limelight… I mean I think if you were trying to conceive and your brother’s wedding is coming up I would avoid getting pregnant nine months before so I’m not due the same month of the wedding but otherwise I don’t see the issue.
anyway best of luck with TTC!
Post # 10
@beebeebee1111: Ugh – i am annoyed at them for you! Just continue to jump on your husband everytime you see him. It will happen when it is meant to. We are TTC now – and everyone is getting pregnant or has babies around me. My SIL is pregnant with baby 2 and it is so hard to be around them. Especially since everyone knows we are trying.
Post # 11
@beebeebee1111: That’s so annoying that your mom and friend did that to you. I am so not a fan of that ‘stealing someone’s thunder’ line of thinking- there should be enough joy to go around that people could both be happy for your brothers wedding and happy if you had gotten pregnant. Try to let it go at this point bc holding on to resentment now isn’t going to help you get pregnant. I’ll be honest though, I would def have given my mom a piece of my mind. I hope you get a bfp soon!
Post # 12
@beebeebee1111: aw I’m sorry Hun 🙁 I hope you get your BFP soon!!
Post # 13
Ugh! I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I hope you get you BFP soon. And I also hope you learned your lesson not to listen to everyone else especially when it comes to critical life changing events like TTC. And especially for YOU since you and hubby have such conflicting schedules.
Post # 14
I am very sorry that you haven’t gotten pregnant yet, I hope you get your BFP very soon. I would feel the same way you do toward your brother, mother, and bf. Not fair 🙁
Post # 15
@beebeebee1111: Aw, man, hun–this just plain sucks. I would be just as disheartened as you. I wish you would have posted this before so that we all could have convinced you not to wait. Never do anything in life based solely on what others want from you, it’ll NEVER get you where you need to be.
Does your best friend and brother know that you guys are struggling with TTC? If so, they need to respect you and DEFINITELY not bring it up around you constantly. Ugh, I just feel so sad for you 🙁 **hugs**
Post # 16
@beebeebee1111: This isn’t helpful, but that’s really lame, for the record. Who the f asks someone else not to get pregnant so they can have more attention??? Weird, very weird. I’d feel upset too, if I were you!!!!