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No, but we already live together and share finances so it is not a big deal for us. it is more money we have as a couple rather than one making more than the other. In fact neither of us would even think of it that way!
@Storm0075: We also live together and share finances. I read that some men feel less "manly" when their SO makes more than them. I trust my fiance and know he's being truthful. This will mean so much for our future, so I should forget the worry and start celebrating, right?
Yeah, do you share all your $ or keep it separate? Cause if it's all going to the same pot, who cares? My DH is thrilled when I get raises, as I am for him. It's a mutual support, not a competition...
ETA: Didn't see your update - yes, start celebrating :)
Totally forget the worry! Things sound great - celebrate!
My FI wishes that would happen. He has said that he would like to be a stay at home dad when we have kids. But sadly there is probably no way that I will ever be able to make more than him.
Congrats on the job and try to not worry about silly things like that! I'm sure that he loves you and won't let something stupid like salary get in the way :)
Honestly, at this point and time in the economy, I think most people are just happy to have good paying jobs and not have to have so many financial worries. That's my outlook on it.
Congratulations! Enjoy your weekend by celebrating.
CONGRATS!!! That's awesome news! I got a similar e-mail (not phone call) a week ago and I was jumping up and down I was so happy! lol. We're in the same situation. It doesn't bother him at all (he's very mature with things like that) but it does bother me because I like being taken care of :) but I don't mind!
On another note, my mom and dad were the same... and although my mom thought it was normal, my dad was not so ok with it and now we can see that he got a bit passive aggressive over time because of it.
I do believe it has A LOT to do with how you treat him. Make him feel special and important to you and show him how worthy he is through everything else that he does, and he'll be fine with you making more money. My mom never did that, she would just complain and tell him that he's no good. Jee, I wonder why he got resentful... wouldn't have had a clue.
My husband is feeling a little frustrated right now because he's working part-time, and I have a full-time job. For us, it's not as much about the amount of $, just that we're both contributing. And while he's certainly contributing now, I know he'd like to be working more hours so that he could contribute even more.
When I got this job, I got offered $4K more a year than I expected, and he was thrilled for me and for us. Because it's all going to the same place. :)
@squeak: That's terrible :( He does so much for me. I don't even care about money. I always said that money mattered the least when I was looking for love. (As long as he wasn't a bum!). Thanks for the advice and I hope he knows I love him everyday. Besides, I'm making about $4 more than him an hour so it's not a super huge deal. And even if I made 6 figures and he made 4 figures, it's all for the betterment of our future.
I make almost twice what my SO does and it doesn't seem to bother him too much. I know he wishes he got paid better but I've told him as long as we can afford our bills together (when we get married) who the heck cares.
Congrats! And enjoy it. I make more than my hubby and it has never bothered him in the slightest. The more I have (he insists our money be separate) the more we get to do, he saw the upside quickly. :-)
I think my FI would feel like he is not pulling his weight or some other manly thought that isn't true, but he would be happy for me. I think your FI will be proud of you, and really, it is noone's business but the two of you as to who makes more. CONGRATS!! That is awesome that they offered you more than you were expecting!
Congrats on the new job! I'm sure if you just express to your FI that you're so thankful for his support, and be sure to not change the way that you treat him/have $$ discussions, things will be fine.
I'm set to make 1.5x -3x or 4x of what Mr.ND makes, depending on what jobs I look for or get offers for. And he's totally fine with that. We both love what we do. I'm our "family CFO," so it really doesn't matter what either of us makes because it goes into one pot, bills get paid, and we get our fun money and the rest is savings. There's never really a 'who's paying for dinner' dispute because it's our money anyway.
@jessiesbabe: Go celebrate!!!
The only time I think it ever becomes an issue is when one party throws it in another's face who makes more.
@jessiesbabe: exactly, that's what my SO and I were talking about as well. How much money I make vs him is really a factor of what industries we're in. But as long as he's also working hard to provide for me and care for me and he's just a great man in general, I have nothing to complain about. Plus, once we have our money together he can pay for everything from our account ;)
If I get the job I just interviewed for, I will be making more than my FI and I already know it won't be a problem. We are on equal ground. We're both working for the same goal.
Celebrate! And be happy that you have a great guy who can be happy and supportive for you too!
@MissPumpkinPie: Exactly what I was going to say! Just be thankful and FI will be, too!
I make significantly more than my husband, almost twice as much. He doesn't care. The money I bring in buys us cool stuff and helps us be happier in our marriage because we have less stress over debts. We can also "outsource" some common arguments, like cleaning. Hello, maid service! We just couldn't do that if I made the same as he did.
He's on a career track too, which helps. I think he might be jealous or down if he had more of a dead-end job and it was just me on the career track, but that's not the case.
I make slightly more than my husband (just barely, a couple $K). My mom has always made more than my dad.
On the flip side, I'm a web developer, and several of my co-workers' are married to teachers, teachers made about half of what a web developer does.
It shouldn't matter who makes more! Both partners work together to build a life together!
@abbyful: I agree. What I make, be it more or less, contubutes to *our* financial well being. Its a team effort so if its more, all the better. The only problem with this is the ability to quit and become a SAHM since we are accustomed to my income.
I make slightly more than my husband also, just a few k since I'm a few years older in the same field. But I'm sure he doesnt mind one bit and is happy I make about as much and wouldnt mind if I made even more than he did.
I make more. He doesn't care. He would like to make more than me bbut it's not because he wants to out-earn me. He would just like to see that number in his paycheck.
I do. But I keep telling him it's just for the short term until he goes back to school (for the same thing I'm doing) and we'll be even. I think by giving them "manly" compliments really helps...(ie I read somewhere that men really want to be "respected" rather than "loved", so if you can somehow show or tell him how much you respect him)...
Congrats on the job btw!
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I still can't believe it. My hands are still shaking. Just the got the call a few minutes ago and although I told them my salary range (they asked), they offered me $10 more an hour than I asked!!!! FI is super excited but now I'll be making more than him. He says it dosen't bother him, but I'm afraid it eventually will. Do any bees make more than their SO? Does it bother your SO?