Post # 1
Okay, so here is the thing…
I don’t want to waste 4 hours on my wedding day doing formal pictures. Most of those will be before the ceremony, but still…I hate taking pictures and am only doing it because the FI wants some formals. My list is short:
Bride + Groom
Whole Bridal Party
Bride + Bride’s Side Party
Groom + Grrom’s Side Party
Bride + Flowergirls
Groom + Immediate Family
Bride + Immediate Family
Bride, Groom + His Immediate Family
Bride, Groom + Her Immediate Family
Bride, Groom, Officiant
Bride, Groom, Ushers
Bride, Mom, Sister
Bride, Her Sister
Groom, Mom, Sister
Groom, His Sister
And that’s it. I decided no extended family because the FI doesn’t have any and again…I really hate standing there taking pictures. Well now my grandmother is upset (even though I told her we would take some during the reception) that she doesn’t get a picture and my aunts are mad because they wanted to do all the girls from that side of the family. I absolutely do NOT want a picture with my other grandmother because I can’t stand her, so that is part of the reason I said no extended family pictures. I’ve tried explaining my situation, but there are still hurt feelings all around. This is my wedding, not an excuse for family reunion pictures. My BIL is the photag, so I really can’t lie and say I don’t have the money or he doesn’t have the time.
My BIL wants 4 hours for just the above photos. How can I tell people I really don’t want to stand around while EVERYONE gets pictures with me? I’m not a show pony for crying out loud. I want to enjoy my wedding day!
Post # 3
He needs 4 hours to take that short list of photos? I would expect a list like that to take no more than 30 minutes.
In my family at least, it’s expected to take some formal pictures with the grandparents. They’re the root of the family tree, so to speak, and we want to commemmorate the day that a new branch was added (i.e. your wedding).
Maybe you can suggest one really big family picture at the end of your list? That way no one can complain that they didn’t get in any of your formals. 🙂
Post # 4
The problem is if I take one photo with the one grandma then I have to take a photo with the other grandma and that would…I’m NOT exaggerating…ruin my wedding day. I would seriously be mad about being forced to take a picture with the only person on this planet I hate and then have to look at that picture over again afterwards. The only reason she got an invite was because my dad asked me to (and my parents are paying) and the only reason she is coming is for a free meal before she takes off the next day for my aunt’s ash spreading (she even said the food better be good because that is the only reason she is coming).
That and my mother refuses to pose in a picture with her mother (the grandma I like) because she can’t stand her mother. So, a picture of just my future husband, me, and my grandma? That seems like something a canded photo can take care of.
Post # 5
That’s pretty much the “formal” photo list I had … I really didn’t want endless posing in the August heat! Fortunately, I didn’t have people agitating for more … I had a small guest list and my photog got lots of great candid pictures of everybody at the reception, which were more fun anyway.
Keep to your decision. You don’t need the added stress. People are always b*tching and moaning about something. If it’s not this, it’ll probably be something else. If they keep on at you, just say you don’t choose to spend your entire wedding day posing for photographs.
Post # 6
We just did immediate family as well. It’s better to offend everyone by asking them to leave, then to offend some by letting others stay.
Our photographer read the list of people that were to stay for photos, and asked everyone else to leave – she did the dirty work for us. And she made it about her too. When there are lots of people there, they dictate time. They will take flash photos, and mess up her pictures – she wanted only the people in photos.
I would just explain to your family that you don’t want to offend his parents by having your extended family in your photos – it could be hurtful to some. Then maybe set aside time at the recpetion, or just before to take photos with extended family.
Post # 7
I had a “formal photo list” but it was only distributed to the wedding party. And then I hid in the church basement until everyone had left, before going up for photos. People won’t stand around and wait, I promise. They’ll leave and go to the reception, you’ll take your pictures (the photog should do family ones first so they can leave for the reception), and be on your way.
Four hours seems excessive. Mine took 2 hours, which included driving to three different locations.
Do extended family members really expect to be in photos? I’ve been seeing threads like this lately so it must be common, but I would never be like “I HAVE to be in a posed portrait with my cousin!” etc.
Post # 8
We didn’t really ask anyone’s opinions about our photo list. Ours was similar to yours, except we did include grandparents because I think those photos will really mean something when they are gone. They are your wedding pictures – you should do what you want! I think our family was relieved to not have to stand around for pictures.
Post # 9
Just explain that any photos that your extended family is wanting, they can arrange with the photographer during the reception. Stick to your guns about what you want/don’t want and that’s the end of it.
I would consider the 4 hr time frame on those photos though, that is rediculously long for those photos.
Post # 10
Family only images listed would take me MAYBE 10-15 min. mainly because of family chaos and distractions.
The bridal party images (you and the bridesmaids, him and the GM, you and him alone) should take no more than an hour. Having 2 hrs for everything is more than generous and sometimes I run out of things to do with that much time, lol.
Post # 11
As others have said, that won’t take you four hours. Not sure why your photographer is saying that. Max, it’ll take you 20-30 mins.
I like mcnetn3’s suggestion. Just say that formal photos will be immediate family only, and if extended family wants photos, you’ll be willing to step out of your reception for 10 minutes between [insert time] to pose with people, and then after that, your family will have an extra 10 minutes for photos they want.
Usually brides and grooms step out of their reception for a few minutes for more family pictures. Budget this in your reception timeline so you know exactly when it will be, and so you won’t miss anything else important (it’s usually done during dancing time because your photog can only get so many pics of people dancing, right?). That should appease everyone, and if not, they’re problem, not yours!
Post # 12
Keeping the same group of people you have, you may want to add one more…bride, groom, and ushers. For us this was a beautiful pictures…all their dark tuxes with my white dress!