Just Married and I need opinions on changing my name…

posted 2 years ago in Names
Post # 2
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Could you just hyphenate the maiden-new last names?

So, Anhelms MiddleName Maiden-New. I think?

Post # 3
Member
3558 posts
Sugar bee

anhelms:  Sounds like a long name.  But it’s your choice.  It would most likely be listed as the PP said.

Post # 4
Member
583 posts
Busy bee

WifeyGtoBe:  I think a lot of people experience logistical issues when they hyphenate.

Post # 5
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

anhelms:  I’m doing FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewLastName. So I will technically have 2 last names, but they will not be connected by a hyphen. I’m sure on all official documents, all names will be listed.

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Coastal Maine inn

anhelms:  I want to do the same thing! I’d like to to go FirstName MiddleName1 MiddleName2(current last name) NewLastName – no idea how to make this happen properly, so I’m interested to see the responses here. 

Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I’m interested to see what people say. I am very newly engaged and I think the name change is going to be a nightmare for me.

I have already been married once before and kept my former husband’s name because we had a small child at the time – she is now 9. 

So my current name is FirstName-RestOfFirstName MaidenName LastName. If that wasn’t clear – my first name is hyphenated. 

I very much want to take my fiance’s name when we marry. I feel certain that my daughter will feel hurt as she would be the only one in our home left with her dad/my former husband’s last name while new husband, his daughter (age 12) and I would all have the same last name. And I am sensitive to that.

My hyphenated first name throws a kink in things because two hyphens seems like it would be ridiculous (and as someone mentioned above, hyphenated names do cause logistical issues – I’ve experienced that with my first name).

Fiance’s strong preference (and mine as well) is that I not continue to have former husband’s name as a part of my name. If it weren’t for my daughter I would’ve dropped his name when we divorced.

Post # 8
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

dont hyphenate. you will regret it. make your maiden name part of your middle name. 

Post # 9
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

First Middle Maiden Married

There’s no rule about how many names you can have my birth name is 4 names.

Name Name GivenName LastName

Because my name was already super long and my married and maiden names were so close I just changed mine, but I know lots of people who keep the maiden as an addition middle name

Post # 10
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would have two middle names:

First Middle1 Middle2(maiden) Newlastname

Post # 11
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think the easiest way to keep your maiden name is to have it as part of your middle name: First Middle Maiden Last. And I agree with the others, try to avoid hyphens at all costs. Good Luck.

Post # 12
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

If you think a long name would be an issue, it wont 🙂 

I was born in Mexico and there, you keep both you mom’s and your dad’s last names AND your middle name. So i have First Name, Middle Name, Dad’s Last name, Mom’s Maiden name.

 

I have been an american citizen since i was 9yo and on my first debit card in wellf fargo (for reference) my name was fully shown LINDA ROSA ALVAREZ MARTINEZ (<- fake name for privacy) it didnt look weird compared to my friend’s it was actually cool

On my drivers licence is the same and also on my ny ssn card.

Any other legal documens like birth certificate, list all my names, and no legal official ever said anything about me having too many names, it was all normal.

Tho the bank did give me the option to just show only one name and one last name, which was cool too that i could do that

Changing the subject, a little, I am still deciding on what to do with my name now that i’m married.

maybe ill delete my last names and just keep his, i dont know.

 

Extra info: If you are curious,

If , LINDA ROSA ALVAREZ MARTINEZ where to get married and lived in Mexico, the husband’s last name (lets make it VALDEZ) would be added at the end of all the last names!

so it would be “LINDA ROSA ALVAREZ MARTINEZ de VALDEZ”

Crazy!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Gleam.
Post # 13
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

anhelms:  I did this. I added my maiden name to my middle name, so now I have two middle names. It’s that way on my SS card, drivers license, etc. My credit cards and professional stuff just have First Maiden Last, and socially I go by First Last. I like being able to keep ALL the names!

Post # 14
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

i kept my first married name to be the same as my daughter. I dropped and went to my maiden only when her father passed away and she was a junior.  She was ok with it. She was not ok in fifth grade to let me go back to my maiden name. It was just the two of us then. In hind site, knowing her dad would never ever be a part of her life, I wish I had worked to change her last name when she waS little. With that being said, to make your daughter comfortable, does she see her dad and can can place her identity there while you drop your first married name, which you shoul do.  

I know a guy a work with a blended family. The wife and husband kids have different names. But in public, meeting new people, he just says this is my daughter (for his wife’s daughter ). He saI’d it is not necessary to say this is my wife daughter or my step daughter, that he sees them all as his kids. I liked that. Because I know what it feels like to be a blended family and to try and blend a family. it isn’t that we always announce our full name, but our relationship to each other. 

I Think a blended family is more than the name. It is how your daughter and the other children are treated. No one should be favored more than the other. Or allowed to be the center of attention all the time, making the others feel left out. This can happen at any age. So, good luck ! I know this was more than name but I wanted to say there is more to being part of the family ,  and I’ve been working on it for a while ,,,

Post # 15
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

Gleam:  This is so cool! I had no idea this was the tradition in Mexico. 

My mom hyphenated her name and has had no issues with it, and we’ve moved around a lot. I don’t know where this idea of it being such a hassle is from and I’d be curious to know whether it’s from personal experience or suspicion.

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