Just married….and were just asked to relocate across the country…

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d go.

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Post # 3
Member
6592 posts
Bee Keeper

That sounds like a conundrum. CO is a really nice place and a great opportunity! Would you consider being long distance if you wanted to keep your job? Would DH be satisfied staying in his current position? In any relationship where both parties work, this will become an issue at some point.

Since your long term goal is to be SAHM later, it does sound reasonable for you to leave your current job and then look for jobs in CO. Are there jobs in your field where you would relocate? It’s also possible that your boss might change their tune when they find out you’re actually leaving. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d go in a heartbeat. My ex was fast tracked to the executive suite and he was transferred every year for the first 3 years of our marriage. It gave him the broad view of the company that he needed and he is now the CEO.

ps the transfers had nothing to do with our divorce.

Post # 5
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Laur12:  I’d go. And I did actually….twice. lol! We aren’t married yet but 2 years ago my FI got a job opportunity in AZ and we picked up and moved. Yeah I left my job (a government job at the VA) but I had never lived outside IL (FI had in the Navy). So I was all about it, scared to death, but all about it. Fast forward a year after that and he got an even better job opportunity that moved us to Nebraska. Closer to both our families in Illinois. The job and benefits he has now is great and without the 1800 mile move to AZ, he never would have the job he has now. And our daughter has also had the luxury of getting to live other places at 9 years old and she’s adjusted great!

I say go for it! I know soooo many people that live in Colorado and they love it so much! You gotta just jump in and go for it! Carpe Diem!! And all that jazz! lol!

Post # 6
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

Laur12:  personally I would go. Like you, I would love to be a SAHM when the time comes and therefore I would jump at any opportunity for my FI to be fast tracked in terms of promotions and pay raises. Moving there now does not mean it’s going to be forever. You could get a job and settle down for the couple of years in CO then as the time comes that you want to start a family your DH can talk to his company about moving back. 

Post # 9
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Laur12:  Definitely! We lucked out and found out our daughter travels really well lol!

And at the risk of sounding ohhhhh so awful, you only live once. lol! I also will not lie, both moves tested us quite a bit. The first move to AZ being the hardest, it started out that my FI went to AZ alone and DD and I stayed in IL so I could continue to work. He stayed in his parents RV until we could buy a house. I went to visit him for fathers day in June that year, we bought the house and then he came back to get us and we all moved to AZ at the end of July. So I packed every single thing we owned myself. Most of the time that was after I got off working. We financed the move ourselves for the most part, we got a small relo package from his company. We packed the moving truck ourselves and drove for 3 days across the country…..with a then 7 year old and a dog. It was interesting to say the least. lol!

The second move was paid for 100% by his new company. Movers came in and packed eeeeeeverything, loaded it in a semi and met us in Nebraska 3 days later then unpacked it all! We just packed what we needed for a few days, jumped in our pick up (with 3 dogs and an 8 year old this time) and took off. Best. Setup. EVER!

But now the prospect of moving again doesn’t even phase me, we aren’t going to be moving in the near future but will eventually I’m sure.

While it was quite a learning experience, I did enjoy it. It was just us 3 on our own and it felt great really. Very few of my close friends have ever left the state of IL ever to live somewhere else so I was the first which made it even harder. I will say that it does make visiting with everyone that much better though!

So sorry for the rambling book! lol!

Post # 10
Member
3346 posts
Sugar bee

This happened to us (although we aren’t married yet).

SO was one year “behind” me in school, so I got a job in our home province while he finished his masters. His field is much more specialized than mine (I’m a teacher, there are schools in every town), so when he got an awesome job across the country, we had to decide what to do. We decided to move- he would never get a job like this, in his first year out of school, in our home province.

I had to give up my job, though, which was hard- I was on my way to getting a permanent contract with my school board, which would have meant I was basically set for life. Although I’ve found work here, there is nothing permanent so far and probably won’t be for a few years. I won’t lie, it’s hard sometimes. I’m very career oriented, and to give up something like is not a decision I made lightly. Ultimately, I had to decide whether to continue with my career, or put my faith into our relationship, especially since we weren’t engaged when we moved. I’m so happy I made this decision. In the end, we had no kids, no home, no cars, so it was easy to just pack up and go (minus missing my family, of course). Sometimes it’s hard, but we’ve had so many awesome experiences and adventures since we moved here together and it’s really solidified us and brought us together.

Post # 11
Member
4758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’d go in a heartbeat. FI is doing an internship in Oregon next summer and might get offered a job after that. I would drop my job and move across the country (we live in GA) because like you, we are young and childless. There’s nothing stopping us and I’ve already told him is rather us move when we don’t have kids as opposed to moving a 3 year old across the country.

Post # 12
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Laur12: Would go. If you work for a great tech company now, you would have a lot to bring to tech cos in CO.

I used to live in Boulder CO and work in tech. There’s lots of great jobs locally, and a lot of people who work remotely for Silicon Valley cos.

What do you do in tech? Maybe we can help out? PM me if you want to keep it private. 🙂

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