Just need someone to talk to…

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Is there any way to rent out your home and each commute one hour so you can both be together? Otherwise, hang in there! Try to think about what you can do with the free time-learn a language, pick up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, etc, and make it as positive for you as possible. Hugs.

Post # 4
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sherryberry:  (hug)  I feel for you.  My DH is an electrician, and he started as a journeyman’s apprentice, right out of college.  Luckily, his parents live next door to the owner of a major commerical electrical firm, and they got him the job.  10 years later, he’s making twice what I do and his company has paid for his electrical education every step of the way. On some projects, the hours suck, like right now we have completely opposite schedules.  It makes the weekends more precious though, and it’s kind of nice to have the house to myself when he’s at work.

Can your DH contact big companies to see if they’re taking on apprentices right now?  At the very least, they’ll pay for basic training, probably to the journeyman level.

Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My FI and I do this, actually! We are three hours apart for several days a week (2-5) because of our graduate programs. We’ll be this way for a minimum of two years (1.5 more as of TODAY, last day of classes for me!) and a maximum of 4.

I was really upset about it, honestly–I was just dreading it and thought I was going to be incredibly miserable. Surprisingly enough, it’s actually been not that bad at all. The first month-ish was tough–we had to get re-used to taking on all of the household roles, when normally we kind of divide and conquer everything. And we had to work out how much we wanted to stay in contact throughout the day so that we both felt in touch but not overwhelmed.

But after the adjustment period, we have been shocked by how… not that bad it’s been. Fortunately, we have different school schedules, so usually every month one or the other of us is on break–so we get some extra time together every month. And we’ll have a wonderful amazing long winter break together, and of course, all summer! I assume your husband’s program would have those same holiday breaks–that is something that makes it not nearly so bad.

So chin up! It’ll be okay. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I was thinking the same thing as a PP. If you could both move in the middle, each of you would have a hour commute to work/school. I think that would be much better than living apart for 2 years.

Post # 8
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@sherryberry:  I cant imagine how you feel… is him going back to college not the better idea for your future though in terms of possible career advancement for him? as sucky as it is think of it as an investmenr

Post # 10
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@sherryberry:  the problem is he is over qualified for those jobs so they think he will leave soon for another job… has he considered lecturing?

Post # 11
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We do this now. I go to school 3 hours away and we see each other most weekends. It’s been kinda hard but not impossible. I have considered grad school after we’re married 2 hours away and I would likely commute. Yeah it’s a long and far drive, lots of time/gas but it would be worth it not to have to live there and be apart. Hopefully he’ll get a job around your area but if not know that is isn’t impossible and not permanent so you will get through it! 

Post # 13
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you will be stronger than you think! When my husband started medical school right after we got married I knew that we’d be living on a tight budget, but I had no idea how much of his training would be away. We’ve spent many months with him out of state working at different hospitals. If I had known this from the get go I would have thought I’d never be okay with it, but I surprised myself with how much I was okay with the independence. I missed him like crazy especially because we had been pretty inseparable for the last 6 years, but I bet you’ll be proud of him enough to make it through happier than you expect. You already sound like a very supportive spouse for wanting the best for him – so just remind yourself that there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t be willing to give their spouse the opportunity if it meant the sucky separation time. In my opinion, it takes a strong couple to decide that route to begin with so just remind yourself what a supportive and awesome relationship you two must have!

Post # 15
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

If you are a home owner, I would say rent your home out and find an apartment (and a closer job). Or, if you rent already, just find a closer job. I would never want to spend that much time apart from my husband.

Post # 16
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@sherryberry:  Im sorry to hear all that. My dh was “retrenched” because his boss decided he no longer wanted to give him the time he promised him to finish his degree. In the end it was the best possible thing, sure it took us a year and a bit topay off the debt he accumulated as a result but it was worth it to see him in a better job…

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