Weddingbee boards

I am a nurse, I work in NICU, and 99% of the time I take what I see there in stride. Things really don't get to me that often, even though I think I see more than my fair share of crappy things.

But ... although I have dealt with drug-addicted babies before, and it really bugs me every time, they are really wearing me down.

I spent my last 4 shifts with a poor, screaming, baby strapped to me (in a baby wrap), because despite us maxing out meds to sedate her, she was still screaming, and clawing at her face when she was left alone. Even strapped to me, I had to sit with her in a dark room, listening to her whimper, feeling her tremor, and trying to feed her every 3 hours for 4 straight nights.

All because her mom wouldn't give up drugs for her baby. This is her 3rd drug addicted baby that had been voluntarily relinquished to social services and placed into foster care.

She didn't even care enough to visit her baby even once.

People try so hard to get pregnant, they would do anything for their unborn babies, and this woman just gets knocked up and then takes drugs, so her baby is born craving drugs, and spends the first 2 months of its life fighting addiction.

I just needed to vent, because my heart is broken for that poor little girl that I bonded with this weekend in our quiet, dark little room.

Wow.  Well all I can really say is thank god for nurses like you! I can only imagine how taxing it is for you but we need more like you.  And yes, it is a shame that this woman continues to do this, she shouldn't be allowed to have children.  My prayers go to the baby who will hopefully pull through and find a loving and caring home. 

Thanks for listening, and the kind comments everyone! I must be hormonal or something, because even thinking of my weekend makes the tears well up.

I just wish that women who would be at risk for drug use in pregnancy could see how much pain these babies are in when they are withdrawing from the drugs. That just won't happen. The sad truth, is that most of these women give birth to multiple babies, all while doing drugs. 

I know that someday that little girl will end up with a family, who will love her and cherish her. That does make me happy.

I am also a little sad, that I am going on a mini-moon in a couple days, and likely she will be home with her foster family before I get back to work next weekend, so I won't get to say goodbye.

@pumpkinpatch: I have always said that NICU is the best, and the worst place to work. You see what can only be described as miraculous recoveries. You get to cuddle babies sometimes. You are also there for what is every parents nightmare (everyone always says all they want it a healthy baby, NICU is what happens when they don't get that one basic wish), and you can make a difference for the parents and the babies. It is really hard though, you have to keep your emotions is check, it is extremely technical, and fast-paced. I have seen a lot of 4th year nursing students come in for their final practicum, and decide it isn't for them, but thats why there are all different kinds of nursing! Good luck with nursing school, it can be tough, but I had a lot of fun in school!

@missfireslayer: & @PitBulLover: I do have to say, I do fear that in 5, 10, 20 years from now, that all of the things I have seen will make me hardened, or worse yet, bitter ... I try to make sure I pay attention to the great parents, and great things that happen, just as much as the painful/frustrating ones, to keep myself balanced. I think that is important. 

@Noel08: Thank you so much for what you said. I do hope that my experiences as an NICU nurse do help me to be a better parent to my future babies.

@Ryansgirl: Thank you for the compliment.