- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Okay, so my life is kinda falling apart right now, and I just need to vent this out. Not sure if anyone else has had this problem, if so, I’m sorry. =/
So, me and my one friend had recently – kinda – gotten over a HUGE fight with each other a couple months ago. What happened was she was upset that I was having trouble balancing my time with my new job, fiancee, and best friends time. (I live in Pittsburgh and travel to Morgantown, WV – which is a 1.5 hr drive in the morning and 2 hr drive home I work 830am-5pm M-F and on saturdays I work 3am-5am and 5am-1030am sundays at Michaels on the weekends). But that fight/story is a completely different thing that I just can’t get into right now. Basically, we fought, and everyone (who knows the story) thinks that she kinda blew it up cause she was a little jealous about how my life is going regardless if she realizes it or not. I dont know, and I dont care. But with our last conversation, I can kinda see it…..
But anyway. So orginally, before the fight, her and our other friend were going to share the Maid of Honor title (since we’re all equally close). But after the fight (which she basically refused to talk to me for 3 months) our other friend really stepped up for me and was basically the sole Maid of Honor. And after we “made up” we weren’t sure how to go about talking about my wedding/planning cause we still weren’t sure how she felt.
Well sunday, she finally asked if she was in the bridal party or not. And to be honest, I was a little hesitiate. I wanted her there cause I care about her and I want her involved cause shes still my friend. But after what was done and how she acted, I dont know. But I told her I wanted her in the party but the other friend really stepped up for me and was there for everything and more during those 3 months and I kinda wanted her to hold the sole Maid of Honor title. Even though I understand why she wasn’t/couldn’d be there because of the fight, but still.
Well, she got a little upset about that. She said that regardless if we weren’t fighting, she wouldn’t have been able to make those appointments/meetings because she worked on the weekends. And I said, well yeah, but I would’ve picked a day/time you would be able to go. Which she said that she didn’t/doesn’t to go to anything, that I can just keep her informed. And that she didn’t know that her not being there would be a problem and that would be a reason why she wasnt in the party. And I told her that’s not it. I’m not going to be like “of you’re not in the party because you didn’t make it to my fitting” I don’t care. It’s more for sentimental reasons and that I WANT TO SHARE the experiences with you guys. But all she kept saying was “difference in personalitles”.
And throughout our talk she kept basically saying that she didn’t/doesn’t need to be there and almost doesn’t “want to”? I mean, I am the more emotional/sentimental one of the three of us, but still. And I said that if she was the one getting married first I would be so excited and feel that it was my wedding and that I would be there for everything and I would make sure it was fun and exciting. And she said that she’s not going to have my type of wedding (church/reception) and that she’s going to a destiantion and that basically if I want to go to dress shopping/meetings I can and that if I want to go to the ceremony/reception I can but if not shes not going to force me. (Which I sure she meant money wise, but her tone was a little meeh).
Then I told her that I need to call the other friend and ask her if she would be okay with sharing the title again. I OWE her that. She’s done so much, I wasn’t going to spring up on her and be like “oh hey, shes back and you’re sharing.” Which the one friend got even more upset about.
I asked her if we could find a different title for her, like “Hononary Maid” or something and she wasn’t going for it. Then I said this EXACTLY.
Me: “Okay. Well what happens if something COMPLETELY out of our control happened. Like God came down and said that she had to be the Maid of Honor because she’s my thousand-great granddaugther and I will smite you to hell if she doesnt’ soley hold that title. Say something like that happened, would you even still want to be in the party?”
I seriously stopped talking for a moment after that….
Then I go.. .
“Well, I mean, look at it this way. Is that title really important? I mean, regardless if you guys share the title or not you guys will be working together anyway. It’ll be you two planning the showers and all that Maid of Honor stuff cause we’re all friends and we all work together. So you would be doing the same thing she is but without the “title”.”
Her: “Well yeah, if I’m doing all the same work she is and not getting the title it’s pointless and I wouldn’t do it.”
I just…. I dont know what to do or say or act now. Like, I’m sure she didn’t mean to come off a certain way, but she did. She’s basically saying that she wants to share the title or nothing. Which is like, WTF? She’s asking if she can come back in the party but she wants the title or nothing at all? That’s not how things go….
I called the other friend and told her everything and she agreed with me. We’re both really upset on how she acted and responded and… yeah.
And I apologized A LOT to the other friend, and told her that whatever happens me and the other people involved will always see you as the “head maid of honor” cause you were there for everything and blah blah blah. And, God bless her, she understands the situation and she’s okay with sharing the title. Shes just upset on how the other one is acting.
Like now, no matter what I do, something is going to go wrong…. Shes in it, sharing the title, but now I regret it. There’s so much more with the conversation that lead me to feel this way, but those were the most hurtful ones…