Post # 1
So we’re back, and married! And I quit my job **crickets**.
Backstory: I got laid off in April because I worked at a private school as a teacher and the school lost a ton of students (and laid off a lot of teachers). Anyway. I ended up getting a job at a private preschool teaching kindergarten for $13 an hour. And it was awful. I came home and cried every single day. I wasn’t teaching, I was babysitting. I was on the verge of tears during work some days (due to one of the people in charge who was very passive agressive with me), sick, and stressed to the max.
So anyway, after our honeymoon, DH and I talked about everything and I ended up quitting. I’m currently exploring other options besides teaching and looking for a part time job until I find something full time. It’s a scary time needless to say. However, I think DH and I are scared for different reasons. For me, I’m feeling like I’ve lost a clear purpose in my life and have no idea what the future holds for me careerwise. I’m a person who likes to know what’s going to happen and when and I have no clue what will happen.
The other half of it is that I know DH and my in-laws are very concerned financially. DH is an accountant and makes decent money and we both have a good amount in savings. Still, bills come in and have to be paid. Hence the stress. I know this was the right move for me but I still get upset sometimes that it hurts SO many people. My MIL got a migrane over the whole me quitting my job thing. And FIL got very offended when we asked a family friend for advice on what other job paths I could take. I knew this decision would impact others, I just had no clue other people would get so worked up about the whole thing. I understand it comes from a place of support and love, but it actually just adds to my stress. Because I know everything will work out, even if it’s tough for a little bit, but when other people get so upset by my decision I tend to question myself and ask “Will it really be ok?”. It’s ridiculous, because I need to stop letting others opinions impact me so heavily.
I guess I’m just looking to get it all of my chest and maybe put it in perspective for myself by writing it all out. I know not everyone will ever agree with every decision we make, but the amount of drama is a bit much. I get that his parents are worried, but honestly you’d think we had like 5 bucks in the bank with the way they keep talking about it. His mother also mentioned that she was a bit hurt that I quit my job before talking about it with them. Oye…I guess I”m just looking for some hugs, thoughts, or whatever.
Post # 3
@Treasure43: ::hugs:: its never too late to make a career change…ur right in saying that u shouldn’t let others opinions impact you so much…and trust me, as one who values others opinions, i kno its easier said than done!!! as long as you stay strong, and keep on track in figuring things out, things will work out the way they should….keep ur head up hun!
edited to add: i also understand about feeling lost…i wrote a thread on my situation if u’d like to read it… http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/l-love-to-designperiod
again, keep ur head up! 😉
Post # 4
I’m so sorry to hear that! Bottom line is, you shouldn’t stay at a job that makes you miserable and stressed and sick. I also think it’s not cool that your MIL thinks you should get her approval (basically) on your professional life–it’s something that you should discuss with your husband, and maybe talk it over with your mom or best friend if you want, but that’s it. Good luck with your job search!
Post # 5
First of all – good on you for making such a tough decision. I think you did the right thing – your mental well-being is important and is more important than any job.
I really don’t see why your MIL & FIL would be so upset over this. It’s your career and you need to do what’s right for you. Of course they may feel a little worried, but they shouldn’t be bothering you with their worries. Obviously this is a tough time for you. They should be supportive and helpful.
Post # 6
Sounds like your ILs have a bit of trouble expressing concern in constructive ways. If they’re worried, or feel they have hard-won wisdom gained from years of experience that might be helpful, then then need to find ways of conveying that information that don’t include emotional blackmail.
You made the decision that’s best for you, and only you and FI really know the inner workings of your financial life.
Post # 7
I totally understand about being lost. I have a college degree in poli-sci, managed federal campaigns, and am now sick to death of campaign work (and there is little around locally). I have no want to work in DC and my last three employers are deceased. Now I have no idea what I want to do. In the mean time I am bartending and liking it with great owners and customers.
There are a lot of us in your shoes, its tough, but we are tougher. When a door shuts a window opens, it just might not be the window you thought.
Post # 8
Big hugs. I decided to do a massive career change right after the wedding/honeymoon too. Trust me when I say that in the long term your health and sanity are so important in your chosen job. You do not want to start your newly married life crying when you come home from work every night. And you’ll find something and everything will work out financially – you’ve just got to stay active and stay positive.
Post # 9
@MamaHusky3: Thanks! It’s always nice to know that others have gone through something similar.
@Pomapoo: I agree with you about my MIL. I know she means well but my husband and I need to be making our own decisions and they need to accept that.
@PrairieGirl: I think they’re trying to be supportive but they also are feeling like they aren’t in control of the situation…which they aren’t.
@teaadntoast: I agree. I feel like we need to figure out how to communicate what’s going on with them.
@tksjewelry: I love the part about the window opening but maybe it not being the window you think.
@littlemissmoo: Thanks for the comment. It’s great to hear reaffirmation that mental health is so important. I grew up in a household that valued that yet my husband and his family don’t seem to understand that as much or see it like I do.