Just needing to cry a bit. Having a really crummy Valentine's Day… :(

posted 3 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Things can and will eventually get better. Stress can make you really ill, try to relax, drink some tea, and think about the future you will have with your FI. Can you guys Skype or do some video chat? Perhaps just hearing his voice will be enough. One day this situation will feel like it was just a bad dream. Take care of yourself!

Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aw, could you do something “together” via Skype? You could watch a movie together or eat the same meal.

Post # 6
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

@lenabee:  I know that between the time difference and the actual distance, communication is hard, but try to set up times to talk (not text or message, but actually talk). My sister’s husband is in the middle east and tries to Skype her and the kids every day. I know it’s tough, but try to talk to him and cheer up. Depression can make you actually sick. Do you have any friends you can talk to or hang out with? (If not, no judgement. I literally don’t really have friends. SO and I are both big introverts, and now we’re just introverts together.) I’m really sorry. Watch a funny/happy movie or look at wedding ideas. Feel better. Oh, and for your throat, honey, lemon, and hot water or tea. Works wonders.

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Keep your chin up! My husband and I (he is Australian) were long distance for 7 years before he came here last year and we got married. You will get there!

I don’t know what your situation is (like if you have to get a visa, or if he’s just working there, or what) but whatever stress you are going through will be worth it to be together, and time passes faster if you don’t dwell on it, or if you set measureable landmarks to help you pass it. I’m sure being stuck inside with nowhere to go isn’t helping either. 🙁 Try to stay busy, don’t try to shoulder all the stress alone- let your friends and family help you out. Take care of your health and set up a chat/skype date with your FI so you don’t feel so miserable.

Some days it feels that it’s too much and too far away to get through, and that it’s never going to end, I know this feeling *hugs* You just need to try to stay positive and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel- that’s the only way I was able to keep going. Thankfully my husband also let me vent once in a while so I didn’t have to bottle it all up, and that helped too. Hang in there!!

Post # 8
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@lenabee:  SO and I are long distance too (Australia and New Zealand). It’s always difficult being away from each other, but spending ‘special’ days apart even if you don’t celebrate them, is extra hard.

I was actually really surprised yesterday because my SO – who is not a romantic in the slightest – sent me orange Tulips, which was really sweet of him. We celebrate Valentine’s Day – usually with a gift and a nice meal out, or we cook a romantic meal together – so not being with him for the first Valentine’s Day ever was upsetting.

After talking to my SO, I spent the rest of my evening trying to find a wedding band online, while watching trashy, girly movies, eating tomato soup and scoffing down a chocolate ice cream.

So yeah, I feel your pain.

How long have you been apart and when’re you seeing each other again?

Post # 10
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hang in there!  DH and I were long distance for 2 years (Montreal – NYC).  On top of that, I’m Canadian and he’s a New Zealander so we couldn’t even get a fiance visa as an option. We had to get regular work visas which are harder and require the sponsorship of a company.

But we made it!  And got married last year with an incredible reception with friends and family from 8 different countries around the world.

Your time will come and this will feel like a distant memory, I promise.

Post # 11
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@lenabee:  “We’ve been apart for three months already, and at the time being we don’t know when we will be together again.

I hate it when you’re apart with no date of when you’ll see each other again.

SO and I first started long distance after we’d been dating for a year and 9 months as I moved away for work and we had no idea when we would see each other again. We were apart for 3.5 months before we saw each other (for four days) and then we were apart for another 4 months before he moved out here.

We’re long distance again for this year, as my SO moved back to New Zealand – luckily we’re seeing each other every five weeks this time round.

Do you have any idea of the time line for getting visas etc. sorted?

Post # 12
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lenabee:  Not having any idea when you will see each other next is super hard, I’m sorry! We went through times like that in our relationship too, and that’s when it was the hardest. It’s also hard watching everyone around you have it so much easier. But I do think that having gone through long distance has made us stronger, and I’m sure it’s the same for you- even if it isn’t fun.

I hope you guys can pinpoint a time of when you’ll get to visit soon so you can have that light at the end of the tunnel, it really does help!  The visa process is a pain in the a$$, I will be honest- if you have any questions, you can pop me a PM and I will answer anything I can, and you should definitely check out visajourney.com because it has a lot of amazing resources- I couldn’t have done all the paperwork without that site! Processing times take a while, and it does cost a bit of money (the site has timelines of how fast things are currently going, which is helpful) to do the paperwork, but it’s totally worth it. My husband just got his Green Card a week ago! 🙂 We are in the clear for another 18 months before we have to do anything else, it’s such a relief.  You can do it though- I’m happy to give you more details about our journey if you want it or if you think it would help.

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