Post # 1
Getting really irritated at a relative of mine. Her daughter is a junior bridesmaid in my wedding. She has e-mailed me twice asking what dress her daughter should wear and I gave her my guidelines. Apparently they’re not specific enough for her, so now she has started e-mailing my mom to get her to ask me, too.
I gave all my girls really simple guidelines. I chose a designer, a fabric, and a color. They can have any length and any neckline they want. I really don’t care and that was literally all the thought I wanted to put into the selection of bridesmaid dresses. I have other things to worry about for the wedding so I just don’t have time to sit down and get specific on dresses.
I know that if I pick one myself I will have to hear from my relative about how they don’t like it or that some other dress is better, because that’s the kind of person she is, so I’m not even going to go there. She has free reign to choose whatever they like best. The store is literally 30 minutes from their house. Just drive down and let the kid try on whatever she likes best and get it. I don’t know how many times I can reiterate that I just. Don’t. Care. Ugh!
Rant over, sorry, it just feels good to get that out!
Post # 3
I was going to suggest that you pick one for her, but you already said that won’t work.
What about picking 3 or 4 different dresses out for her to try on and then letting the mom know she should pick from those 3-4 dresses? Reiterate that the color and fabric are chosen, she just needs to select from the 3-4 options you present to her.
Some people can’t make a decision if given too many options. I dunno if that will work or not, but I understand the frustration!
Post # 4
@HeyKaraoke: Why don’t you talk to your Jr. Bridesmaid directly? Could you take her to the store as a day for the two of you and then when you drop her off at home let her mom know that dress X was picked ?
Then its not you picking it so she can complain, its her daughter picking it, you just taking her.
I know you don’t want to have to do any of that, but probably better for both you and the girl to do it that way than go through her Mom constantly. I mean if I was a Jr. BM (I’m assuming somewhere between 11 and 16) I would want to pick my dress and not have my mom pick it out for me anyways….
Post # 5
@StarryNight2011: Thanks, yeah that would probably be best. I am just so sick of looking at dresses, you know? It gets tedious after a while.
@Elky: Thanks for the suggestion. The kid is a miniature version of her mom so the idea of spending more than five minutes alone with her makes me want to tear my hair out. But maybe I’ll just have to suck it up.
I think I’m just frustrated because I didn’t even want this wedding, I wanted to elope, but FI insisted and so now I am stuck doing all this stuff that I just did not want to have to do. I am feeling very resentful and stressed and this is just one more thing on a huge list of things that seem completely unnecessary to me. So I appreciate your perspectives 🙂
Post # 6
How frustrating. I probably would have said no to this kid being in the WP altogether–FBIL tried to force his kid into ours as our ring bearer, and I said absolutely no kids thanksbye.
I feel your frustration, though. I’ve been after my bridesmaids to choose dresses for a while now. I gave them the same guidelines you did–here’s the color, here’s the fabric, here’s the website page that lists all of your options, pick one. It took lots of wheedling and “Hey, we are ordering THIS WEEK!!!!” to get them to narrow it down, although our ordering never happened (my fault).