- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
My SO and I have been talking about getting engaged for awhile now (well, probably me talking about it much more so than him, hehe) since I moved states to be with him and moved in. I made it clear before moving/moving in that I expected a formal commitment within a reasonable amount of time. I already felt that I had been “waiting” for a full year before I made this clear to him (and that was my mistake, but being in a LDR for a year, I felt I needed him to propose in order to move states for him. But it wasn’t fair to feel that way).
He told me, in a private moment during a night out drinking with a couple of friends, that he plans to have proposed before my birthday (end of February). Not wanting to get my hopes up, I said to him right then, “But it might not happen perfectly as you have planned, and I don’t want to get my hopes up. Let’s say by YOUR birthday (late May). He told me that he had planned on asking my parents’ permission when we went to visit over Christmas. This made me so super excited! I really hope he sticks with that timeline, because I moved in in September, and I will not allow myself to have lived with him for a whole year before he gets a move on it (since we had the big talk in MAY).
Then… being the procrastinator he can sometimes be, he never bought tickets (I am going for the full holiday week, whereas he was going to spend Xmas with his family and then fly out to spend a few days with me and my family). By the time he started looking, prices were sky-high and really not worth it for just a two-day stay. He asked me what I thought he should do, and I told him to do whatever he wanted– I am not upset that he won’t be with me during holidays (we are very independent of each other and so excited to see our families… we will miss eachother, but we will be okay being apart for a week!)– and I told him that if I were in his position, I would not spend all that money on such a short trip. So we sort of decided together that he would not come. HOWEVER, inside I WAS upset only because he had planned this as his time to ask my parents’ permission, and it’s not like he has a million opportunities to do that face-to-face. My parents don’t necessarily expect that he does it face-to-face, they would probably be okay with skype or on the phone, but that’s how my SO wants to do it, I guess.
I didn’t bring it up to my SO because I figure it’s his proposal and he will figure it out… I have already pushed enough. I shouldn’t be worrying about when he will ask my parents, that’s his job.
And all of the awkwardness about splitting holidays has become SOOO frustrating, but that is a different issue for a different post…
Anyway. Thanks for reading =).