(Closed) Just smad (combo of sad and mad) at this point….

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry.  You’re not being unreasonable.  Sure your wedding doesn’t have to be everyone’s top priority.  But a BM should be able to follow a timeline in ordering her dress.

The only thing I can think is to give your BM a heads up and say you’ve talk to the salon.  You know she hasn’t gone yet.  And that if she doesn’t go by Monday, they’ll will be placing the order without her, and she won’t be able to be in the wedding.  At least then you can say, she knew in advance what the consequences would be.

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’d send one last message saying the order is being placed & ordered on Monday so she needs to order & pay for her dress by then. Just in case she calls at like 5pm when they close on Monday, this gives some time for Tues order.

You don’t sound unreasonable. I’d do the same thing if I were you. Some people procrastinate & its super awful. I’m a bad procrastinator, what helps is not giving people as much time to order. Having a 4 month deadline makes me think, oh I have plenty of time. Its good to have a heads up if its a large purchase thou. You didn’t do anything wrong! Its just some people really do wait til the last minute to do things, which I understand can be super stressful. If she doesn’t order it in time, well you have other BM that’ll be there for you! I’m sorry :(.

Post # 5
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think your being unreasonable. You’ve given her plenty of time. I too would probably send her a message (via Facebook since that seems to be her only form of communication) and tell her the order is being placed Tuesday & She needs to have it done by then. If she doesn’t I say give her the boot. Since you already said there is basically no realtionship now anyway.

Post # 7
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i had this problem.  i had 9 BMs and the wedding was on the other coast so I was not about to chase people down about the dress.  i gave them 6 months notice and sent out 2 email reminders.  i told everyone that if they didnt order the dress, i understood.  i already had too many damn BMs anyway.  so the last possible day to order (mind you, theyve had like 5-6 months notice), one of the BMs calls me frantically trying to get the order placed.  She is on PST and the shop was on EST so it was a mess.  Then she faxed over the form to authorize charging her card w/o signature or address.  after a couple hours of her phone calls i was like, look, you handle this.  she got her dress in the end.  so, my point is, dont stress is.  either she will handle her business like an adult or she wont be a BM.

Post # 9
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

O I totally agree. I didn’t realize you just talked to her. If you just told her then I’d say wait and place the order Tuesday and when she calls to tell you that the store won’t let her place the order; tell her she waited too long and it’s too late. Good Luck! Let us know what happens!

Post # 10
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

No, I think you are being reasonable I would just call her and let her know that she is stressing you out and if she cannot afford it or does not want to be in the wedding that it is perfectly okay to step out. 

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