Just so lost… Ideas/advice needed

posted 2 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
858 posts
Busy bee

I’m really sorry to hear this happened to you. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. 

Have you thought of a bridal sarong or sari? Sari’s can be beautiful and wrapped around. You could cover areas while still looking bridal and beachy. 

Post # 3
858 posts
Busy bee

Also I would explain the situation to friends and family, venue etc and accept help. It’s ok to ask for help. You need to recover and not over do it. 

Post # 4
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry but glad you’re getting better. I definitely think you should ask people to help you- they probably WANT to. With a beachy wedding there are so many flowy styles out there which won’t irritate your scars. And your FI will think you’re the most beautiful bride, that I can guarantee!!! Best of luck 

Post # 5
7290 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Julybride71714:  As someone who went through cancer treatment before and after planning a wedding I can understand the stress of the situation. I also changed my dress due to scarring/post op body differences.

The one thing I will say is if you have accepted your scars and are ok with them showing then don;t give up on your dress yet. You still have about 10 days until your wedding day and the stitches will be healing all that time. Did you get the old fashioned stitches that need to be removed or are they the disolvable kind? Has the doctor given you any indication of when the stitches will be gone/removed?

Also the swelling fromt he lymph node removal will go down. If you are having fluid problems (did they put a drain in?) then talk to your doctor. There may be something that can be done to make it better and if not talking to the doctor sooner rather than later is always better if there is post op complications.

But if there will still be uncomfort for you on the day due your surgeries then go and get another stunning dress! No one has a better excuse than you to get a new dress. And who knows maybe this is meant to be and your dream dress is just hanging in a store waiting for you. All you have to do is go our there and get it. So go and do it. No one is going to judge you or your scars and if they do are you really going to worry about someone who would do that?

I wish you all the luck in the world.  Take care of yourself and focus on the great day that will be your wedding day. You will get throught this, not because of some divine power but because as a cancer patient you have to- you’ve got no choice! You will find out just how much strength you really have in you and no matter the diagnosis, long or short, you will have a wonderful and full life.

Post # 6
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

What a powerful post. I was just sitting here nearly in tears b/c my FI questioned the song we chose for a recessional. I was actually going to post about how I’m at my wits’ end. I needed a good smack and this just gave me one. I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself.

Julybride71714:  I really respect you for going through this very tough time with grace. Do not be afraid to ask for help, your family and friends will come through for you, I know they will!  I don’t have much advice about the dress; I think J_jaye has that covered. I know it won’t be the day you imagined, but I know you will have a lovely wedding and whatever dress you end up working will be perfect. 

Best wishes from a fellow July bride.

Post # 7
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m so, so sorry this has happened to you. You are so brave and so strong to have gone through this and come out, not only fighting, but also thinking of everyone but yourself for your big day.

Where are you located? Can you post a pic of your dress? Could you have the straps removed or altered so they don’t impact on your wounds? Are you wearing a veil? A long flowy veil could cover your back wound, although honestly I don’t think people will even care. Otherwise, speak to some local bridsl shops to see if they might help you out.

Stay strong. Let people help. And most of all, I hope you, your FI and your daughter have a magical day.

Post # 8
12 posts

I’m so sorry for your diagnosis.  I think the bees above have covered advice on your dress.  

Rock your scars, be proud of them, you’re a survivor and they’re an indication of your journey.  You’re here and you will beat this, and anyone who shows any kind of disgust about them needs a good swift kick up the behind. 

Sending lots of hugs and healing thoughts your way xoxoxo 

Post # 9
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your family will love to help so don’t worry about that.  I would go to a store and just look around at wedding dresses.  Maybe a department store and explain the situation.  These days everyone has had a loved one go through cancer and will love to help.  Timing is the issue so that’s why I said department store you could get a nice dress off the rack.  Or go back to the store you got your dress from…. Their alterations lady may have afew ideas you aren’t even thinking would work.  

Take a deep breath and know it will all work out. 

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