Just some more FSIL bridesmaid drama…HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@MissRuthie:  No. You do not have to include her as a Bridesmaid or in the wedding party at all. To expect to be included when she isn’t close to you is presumptous and to throw a hissy fit is rude. If you don’t want her in the wedding then you don’t need to include her – make sure that your FI is vocal about this as well. It probably won’t help, but it might make them think twice about their behavior if he is actively taking your side.


Post # 5
238 posts
Helper bee

@MissRuthie:  Talk to your FI about this immediately. He needs to put his family in place! 

Yes, it would be a nice gesture to make your FSIL a bm, but sense you aren’t close and have limited space that should be the end of it.

They’re acting bratty and guilt-tripping you in hopes that you’ll give in. Is this his only sibling? It might help to discuss how important or unimportant it is to him that his sister is a bm. Once you’ve discussed this, he needs to address it with both the mother and sister. He needs to make it clear that he agrees (assuming) with you. 

That should take some of the pressure and guilt off your shoulders. 

Post # 6
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissRuthie:  Your concerns were valid about not making her a BM. Her behavior is proof that she would have just given you hell.

Giving in to them will just set a precendence to allow them to walk all over you in the future.

If you threathens not to come just say “We will miss seeing you there” and let her have her hissy fit.

Your MIL’s comments regards your family are rude and mean. Cousins and stepsiblings can be just as loving as blood siblings.

Post # 7
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wow, his sister is being a brat.  And what his mom said is completely out of line.  I don’t understand why she isn’t happy standing on his side.  You don’t have to make her a bridesmaid.  I think your FI needs to have a talk with his family about the compromises you’ve made so that they realize you’re excluding anyone to be mean.

Post # 8
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MissRuthie:  Honestly, I added my SIL as a BM about half way through the planning process bc I thought the rift it would create if I didn’t ask, wouldn’t be worth it in the end. Just remember to think about your future relationship with this girl… the situation sucks though.

Post # 9
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your FILs sound a little nuts! I hope they’re not usually like that…

Honestly, I would stop making an effort to make them happy. Your FI agrees with you, has defended your choice to them, and if they have an issue, it’s no longer your problem.

Post # 10
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MissRuthie:  Ugh – FSIL’s can be the worst! I’m sorry they are stressing out! I would under no circumstances ask her to be a bridesmaids. That is going to teach your FMIL and her that they can cry and moan and bitch and get their way. Don’t let them start taking advantage now because they will never stop! 

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