Just spoke to my best friend for the first time in close to a year

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
10999 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@KT_Hime:  I’m sorry that things did not go well with your friend.  However, please do not beat yourself up over having contacted her.  I think it was good that you did so.  You reached out to her.  You made the effort. She chose not to accept it.

Whether she realizes this or not, her expectations were unreasonable.  If she and her husband could not afford to travel to your wedding, and, if she refused to come without him when you very generously offered to pay for her transportation, she simply could not have served as your matron of honor. You had no responsibility whatsoever to pay for either her ticket or his. The fact that you were willing to pay for hers to allow her to play a very important role in your wedding should have shown her just how important she has been to you.

Regarding your relocation situation, I very much understand.  I left a wonderful life, amazing friends, a fantastic church, and a rewarding and lucrative career in a city and state I loved to relocate to a rural area in another state after I married my DH.  I really knew no one other than my DH and his children, and it has taken me more than three and a half years of living here full time (I was only here for half of every week for almost the first year of our marriage) to feel as if I am finally just starting to have my own life here.  I still haven’t been able to find a job in my field — or out of it — in this region.

Things will get better. Hang in there.  And, please PM me if you ever need to “talk.”  HUGS!

Post # 4
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KT_Hime:  Agh, it sounds like you were trying to be nice by offering to fly her out. You didn’t have to pay for her flight at all. Nobody asked me to fly them up for my wedding and there were no hard feeling for those who couldn’t afford to go.

You have plenty of time to make a new friend, so try not to worry about it.

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