Weddingbee boards

Oh my. I would be very unhappy with that as well. I can understand a promise ring when you are very young and not in a position or mind set to get married - but one at 33?! I don't think so. Have you talked to your boyfriend about what his intentions are?

nope, you're not crazy at all!  33 is an insane age to get a promise ring - obviously i'm not saying your old (i'm 33 as well!) but he either needs to man up and get you an engagement ring or tell you he won't commit. definitely talk to him.  or just propose to him yourself! i had to have some difficult conversations with my FI before we got engaged, in his mind he had a '5 year plan' but that would have meant i would be 38 before we even got engaged!! when i pointed out to him how insane this was to me (as it would mean our first child would be born at age 40 at the earliest) he had a rethink. it was a difficult time in our relationship for a while because we were working to different timelines for a long time. but it really did work out, we had some really good conversations and now we are buying a house and getting married next year.  so it can be done!  it's probably just that he hasn't really thought things through about your age and stuff.  good luck!

@not so troubled in paradise: and words of advice - don't do what i did and cry hysterically every time you talk about it!!!  if i could go back now to the first few conversations i had with him about it, my god, I was a total emotional wreck. it was only when i could sit and really calmly explain in practical terms why it was a bad idea to wait so long that I got my point across. Sitting there sobbing saying 'oh my god, i can't believe I'm 32 and not engaged' really didn't work at all! It just made him switch off and think 'oh shit, she's crying again'.  

but when we did talk it turned out that he really honestly just hadn't thought about things, hadn't taken my biological clock into account, hadn't thought about the fact that most weddings take well over a year to plan, didn't realise that i wanted a long engagement, didn't think about how if you wait until after you're married to try and conceive then that's actually another year at least before a baby arrives, etc.  So it wasn't that he didn't want to, he's always 'known' he had a future with me, he just didn't think things through.  that's probably what your guy is doing.  it's hard and it was really nervous the first time i brought it up but remember it's about your life together.  and it's really unfair that women are expect to just sit around and wait and hope for the guy to be 'ready'.  it really pisses me off!  i ended up having to give him a deadline to propose by to show him how serious i was but it totally worked!! you'll be fine, if he loves you and wants to be with you, which it sounds like he does, he just needs a little reminder that you won't wait around indefinitely...

cool!  it all worked out - yippeee! and yes, tell us more - when is the 'real' ring going to happen?!