Post # 1
Six months ago I was blissfully and ignorantly newly engaged. The six months since has been nothing short of HELL. First FI’s family basically disowned him. Then we’ve (he’s) decided to cancel the wedding about 4 times, only to go back on it and keep moving forward, but I have to be strong and supportive of him. Okay, that’s fine, preparing us for marriage. Now we have a flood in our basement that cancles our honeymoon, and he’s throwing out there that we might sell the house (that we’ve been in for just over a year). I just completed my degree so I was under a lot of pressure there (thank god that’s done with). How the hell do people have all of these things go wrong all at once and keep moving forward? I’m fairly certain that I’m getting an ulcer. I’m still holding my breath about the wedding, and will keep doing so until I’m walking down that isle. I think I need to take up boxing to get my frustrations out…
Post # 3
Why does he keep cancelling the wedding?
Post # 4
Im sorry dear! All this stress and backwards steps can only mean youre due for some good luck! Im not sure why he keeps canceling the wedding though, i hope for financial reasons and not emotional! Take deep breaths!
Post # 5
@peachacid: Not canceling the marriage, just the big, beautiful, expensive (but that we’ve saved for and can afford…depending on the flood situation) wedding and switching to eloping, or at most a tiny little wedding.
@lolita39: Thank you! As the saying goes, this too shall pass, it’s just so hard when it all hits at once. It is financial reasons, as in why should we pay for this big wedding when it’s mostly going to be my friends and family (with his grandparents and a few friends thrown in).
Post # 6
HOw would you feel about eloping, or having a small wedding? Also, if it helps relieve your mind at all, most ulcers are not caused by stress. I’m dealing with ulcers (again, ugh). My ulcers have either been caused by a bacteria (h.pylori) or NSAIDs. I genuinely hope that you aren’t getting ulcers, as they suck. Further, while it is lousy that you no longer have your honeymoon budget, is there any chance you two could take a few days to just go to a bed and breakfast, or even overnight somewhere nearby? We were unable to take a honeymoon due to my health issues, his work and school situation (full time work, full time grad school, and clinicals – even in summer), and we wanted to have a nice trip, so we’re waiting til next year and going to Scotland and England.
That said, sometimes when it rains, it pours. I feel like that’s true for my life – either it’s all rainbows, sunshine,and people randomly bursting into song or… about eight things going wrong at once. My mom told me that your first year married is the hardest, and the last few weeks have been quite rough on us. I allow myself to wallow once in a while, but I try to not get too caught up in it. Anytime lots of things go wrong, I list three things I’m happy for or that went well that day. And every night that we’re together, my partner and I try to each say one thing that was positive that day. It may not work for everyone, but it’s worked well for me.
Post # 7
I feel your pain! This morning this quote came to me at the right time:
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” -MLK Jr