- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I was in a 3-year relationship that ended in college. It's actually the best place to be b/c there are SO many oppurtunities to meet people.
Join a club, play intramural sports and go to the school sponsored events that you maybe thought were dumb.
I joined a sorority and met an entirely new set of GREAT girls.
Hi jadedragon!
((hugs)) Hang in there, you made such a mature decision to be on your own and I know you'll be okay! I know what you mean about not finding guys that are as 'appealing', but you really never know where or when you'll find someone you're compatible with. This break up is healthy for you since you said that you tend to be dependent on others and now you'll be able to grow into a stronger independent person. That confidence will radiate through your attitude and as you keep doing what you'll doing, you'll attract the right guy for you. Just concentrate on yourself and meeting guys will come naturally, don't look to hard just let it find you. Keep us posted! 
Jadedragon (hugs) to you! I second Daisybride, in that I ended a 4 year relationship in college and it.was.the.best.thing to happen to me, hands down. I thoroughly enjoyed being single (maybe a little too much! lol) and did things for ME for the first time in my life. I wasn't *too* consumed with meeting a potential BF (but, hey, I wasn't going to turn any potential guys away or anything! lol) but when I finally did meet my FI, I was in the best place for me. Good luck and enjoy the single life.
Oh, honey - I have been where you are, and more than once. I think you may get a lot of that, and I hope that you can take comfort in the fact that most of the posters here who have been there are either engaged or already married. And look - we're all fine.
I don't know exactly what to say to you, because I feel like you know that you have a lot of learning to do (in life and in love) and that you need to grow and live for yourself. My parents say I was indpendent from birth, so as far as that part of it goes, we're a little different. But I think you really need to stop and ask yourself what interests, excites and makes YOU happy, and then focus on those things. Make things happen for yourself, and challenge yourself to do things outside of your usual comfort zone. The relationship that lasts may come when you're in the middle of doing something you're crazy about.
Personally, had I married the guy I was dating at 20 (and it could very easily have happened), I would have a completely different life, and I know for a fact that I would not have done ANY of the amazing things I have done since we parted ways. I would not have traveled the world or had experiences that have shaped me as the person I am now. I wouldn't have had the other relationships that ended (some terribly, some not so), but that each taught me something important about myself and about life.
You will be fine, and like the PP said, college is a PHENOMENAL time to be single. So is after college! You meet people in the least likely of places, I promise you. Just keep your chin up, smile and be open (but cautious when necessary) to meeting different people. And as far as those Ivy-leaguers not being "desirable", sometimes you have to look for hidden potential.
Good luck!
Like DaisyBride and VegasBaby, I too was in a long term relationship in college (approx. 5 years) and it ended when I graduated. When it happened I was lost and wasn't sure I was going to find anyone else whom I would love so dearly as I loved that guy but the break-up was one of the best things that happened to me.
I was independent already but it helped me to grow as a person. I learned more about myself and most importantly I found happiness within myself instead of another. When I was right with myself is when my FI stepped into my world. Believe it or not, I met him online and technically we weren't really searching. I was new in the area with 2 friends so I was looking for companionship and found so much more.
So keep your head up. Your next love will come when you least expect it. Try to spend this time learning more about yourself and finding that inner happiness because no man should complete you. He should most certainly be a bonus :) and a bones he will be!
Jade dragon,
There are so many amazing people and amazing opportunities out there. I find that at the times when I'm living my life and pursuing the interests that I love, that relationships found me. And, when I was least thinking about finding the love of my life (I was moving to Idaho for a 2 month rotation), well, that's when I found him! Despite having met this wonderful guy, I still decided to 1) travel to India by myself 2) take a job that was 12 hours away from him 3) continue my education. It is really important (and attractive) to foster an independent self.
I kept my standards for a partner really high, throughout my 20's and into my 30's (though my mom and sisters were probably a little panicky for me!). I would have much rather been alone than to settle for someone less than a great match for me. It takes a little bit of a leap of faith, but the fact is that if relationships are something that you value, then you are likely to find one... regardless of the timeline. So I would just say open yourself to the possibilities afforded by your life and everything will be as it should be!
You've gotten some great advice from the posters above, and I'm also going to include my own story!
I also broke up with my BF after 3 years my senior year of college, and it was by far, the best thing that ever happened to me as well. I didn't think so at the time...I was scared out of my mind that I wouldn't be able to find anyone else, but I had a blast finding out everything that I did or didn't want. After college, I met people through friends, co-workers and many other different places! College is definitely a great place to meet people, but so are friends of friends of friends!
I was single for a good 3 years until I finally met my husband. How did I meet him? He worked with my older brother! They used to golf together all the time, and I lived with my brother at the time. He used to look forward to seeing my car outside everytime he would drop my brother off so that he could come in to say hello. The rest of course is history, and we'll be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary soon! So in the next few years, you will find out what you do and don't want in a husband. Had I not broken up with that BF, I would have never found my husband, and my life would have been VERY different, and I would have been VERY unhappy.
I think this is a wonderful sort of thread to have in the hive. Something to remind us not to settle for anything less than what we want in a partner and to stay strong.
I was in a serious relationship in college that I thought was going to lead to marriage. At that point it was my only serious relationship in my life. He broke up with me a few months before the end of senior year, so that he could be with another mutual friend of ours (about whom I'd always had my suspicions....). My heart was broken. I was utterly miserable. I had to navigate those few months of watching my then-ex-boyfriend cavort around with his new girlfriend. I thought that I had lost my chance at finding someone forever, thinking that there will never be another opportunity like the melting-pot of college to meet someone, that after college all there is is this vast dating wasteland and I had better hurry up and snag myself a husband.
Well, I was wrong. You are too.
The best advice I can give is to work on truly believing and understanding that being happily single is infinitely preferrable to being unhappily partnered. Of course we would all rather be happily partnered---but we don't have a lot of direct control over that. So you can worry about the future and try everything you can to get a boyfriend, any boyfriend, in the hopes that he will be The One, or you can give up the fight. Be able to say, "I accept the possibility that I may be single forever, if I never meet someone who is truly right for me."
Find a counselor to talk to. Cultivate your own friendships. Get involved in things you are interested in because you are interested in them, not just because you are trying to meet a boyfriend. If you're not in something for its intrinsic value, then you're wasting your time. I met my husband years after college while I was out at a dance because I like dancing. It's a good thing too, because it would have really hurt our relationship if I had just been in it to meet boys (and lots of people do this), because we wouldn't have been able to truly share that hobby! Identify any type of thing you enjoy, and then do that thing, however small. (Like hot chocolate on a cold evening? Make the best darn hot chocolate there ever was.)
If you've done some things during the breakup that you are ashamed of, try your hardest not to do them again. They may feel good at the time but in the long run you will be glad that you restrained yourself. I thought about doing many awful things when I got dumped in college and I kept myself from them. At the time it was hard and now not-doing these things are some of my proudest achievements.
Then go and live your life the way you want to live it. Ironically, the happily single person is the kind of person who is best able to be happily partnered! Have you ever noticed that people in happy relationships get hit on a lot? It's because they're not worrying about finding someone. But you have to really believe it for it to work. Good luck and I know you are going to be just fine. :)
How you are feeling is NOT ridiculous, in the least!! I'm in my mid-30's...besides my FI, I've had 3 great loves. Each time a relationship with them ended, I thought there was NO WAY I could EVER find love like that again. And, each time I found love again, I was shocked to think I could love that person - perhaps even MORE deeply than the one before.
It's not that you replace that past love, it's that the new one is so different, as the dimensions of your relationship with that person will be completely unique to your relationship with him.
I know it seems like this will NEVER happen - but, trust me, it will. I hope you journal, because it's always been nice for me to go back, read my journal entries, and see how life turns out different than anticipated.
I can definitely understand your fear of going back to school and feeling alone. You will feel that way at times - I'm not going to lie to you - but it's not going to be the worst thing to experience. Focus on making new friends - remember - there are probably tons of girls feeling the EXACT same thing on your campus!! I was really frustrated that I didn't meet 'the one' during my college years - but I tried not to make that diminish my experience. It's a balance to learn, one that you will get better at with each day.
My best advice to you is this:
1. Learn to do what you love (hobbies, work, volunteerism, etc.). Don't do things in hope of meeting 'him' - do things that interest you and things that you think may be something you might love. You'll try things that you won't like - and other things you think may not fit, will be what you are most passionate about.
2. Don't compare your journey with others. I had to watch a lot of friends get engaged, married, and have kids and it really stressed me out at times. I felt like it would NEVER happen to me. It's hard to NOT feel that way from time to time, but be intentional about not getting lost in the muck, if you find yourself there. You are writing your own story - your life is different and unique from anyone else.
3. Befriend everyone! Get to know people at school you usually wouldn't associate with. Do this by just being kind, share a smile, say hello in passing. I know it's hard to do, but do something small every day and it will become easier over time.
Hugs and best wishes to you. You will get through this!! And, it's ok to mourn your BF. It takes time to get over those we've cared for deeply. But, you are only in the beginning of writing your story... the best is yet to come!
Honey, you just said it all - you are at an Ivy-League school, which you got yourself there - without the help of a man - therefore, you probably could tackle many things- especially being single. One of the nice things of being a single women after college is that you really get to embrace being a young professional in that you attend social happy hours for other young professionals - dont know your career plans - but I promise you that you wont be the only single person in your local field. Im in law school and graduated college single. I easily met people in my city at work and happy hours with similar interests - just make sure you stick to good crowds etc. Its a fun moment in your life when you graduate - stick to your close friends, go out and mingle her and there - there is no rush girlfriend! I met my fiancee at work , after college and really we mingled outside the office at happy hours with other similarly situated young professionals.
Dont be a hermit crab or stick only in your very tight circle - I have a sister who dated a guy who could have cared less for her while she was in college and I thought she missed out on the entire college experience - you meet so many peopel in college- trust me, there's no rush. You are a smart girl who knows what she wants - you are obviously aware of what you'd like to do to mingle, etc & aware of the fact you are an individual beyond a relationship - you are 20!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt meet FH till I was 25 and about a year after a failed relationship.
Trust me, the world is your oyster and you will indulge, now and later. So dont rush & enjoy!
oh my goodness, thank you for all the wonderful advice! to be honest, i was worried about clicking on this thread to see what types of replies i'd get.. i was expecting the "tough love" type - telling me i was stupid young and immature. and i know i am a bit of all of those, but i just needed some words to push me along the way :) thanks so much again!
now looking back at this recently ended relationship (it was a year long) i realized i was staying in it for the wrong reasons. because i (admittedly) have a very dependant personality, i stayed in the relationship mostly for the companionship. i was too worried about being alone to end things though i knew in my heart he wasnt right for me in the long run. but i wrongly spent all my time with him at college, and by doing that dont have many close friends there and the ones i do are his friends as well.. and i do not want to run into him at some hangouts!
@chelseamorning 'I thought that I had lost my chance at finding someone forever, thinking that there will never be another opportunity like the melting-pot of college to meet someone, that after college all there is is this vast dating wasteland and I had better hurry up and snag myself a husband." that is exactly how i feel. i cant begin to fathom how i will find someone outside of college - its like if i cant find one here with the thousands of possibilities, how am i ever going to once i graduate? its so much harder to meet people! this was my first college boyfriend, i thought it was a lot more serious than it was.. and i feel like im running out of time and chances :/
most of my friends at school are in relationships and spend most of their free time with one another, which both leads to less time to spend with me (and i mean they spend their time alone) and also just reminds me that i am alone. i just need to learn how to be happy on my own and put myself first. its just a nagging fear in the back of my mind that ill never find someone that i like, never meet someone.. and be lonely alone forever. i need to get out of the mindset that i am just doing things to meet a bf, like joining clubs just to meet more guys and a possible bf. i need to do things for ME :)
i return to school in two weeks and yes.. i am terrified. school seems so much bigger, scarier, and lonelier without this safety net of a bf! i also have to somewhat start over in making friends since i never gave that a real effort, then spent all my time with my then-bf. but i have printed out what has been said so far and am reading and reading. i am so so appreciative of the advice that has been given and welcome more. i truly am trying to move forward and grow in my own right, but it is scary at the moment!
and @oracle - this sounds terrible. but i dont feel like i was crazy in love with my ex. i have had two serious relationships prior and i felt that crazy in love feeling.. but with this recent one, i felt i was loving the companionship of a bf, that safety net feeling, more than the guy. i was just not strong enough to leave and try making it on my own, living my life alone. in some ways i am very glad he had the guts to break up with me (though it was NOT fun) so i can grow now. my fear is not that ill never love again.. but never find someone i even want to pursue a relationship with, giving the slim pickings at a nerd technical school :P and if i dont find a husband in college.. that i never will!
sorry for the rant. i am grateful and trying to take this all in! more advice is sooo welcomed - i am still getting used to living the single life - i cant imagine being single and HAPPY being alone but its getting closer, a little day by day..
oh and as a side note - i almost gave up going to this ivy league school and was considering going to significantly lower rung school because my bf at the time (who i though, and still think i was crazy in love with at the time) was going to a college that was far from the ivy, but close to the lower-rung school. im not bashing on schools or anything, but this was the only major decision i made for ME and not for a bf. and i am so glad i didnt throw away all my hard (academic) work for a boy. now i just need to learn how to do things like this again :)
sorry for being such a downer on a wedding website! haha
Another great thing is to do some hobbies/clubs OUTSIDE of school! Do you like to play sports, dance, public speaking (toastmasters) etc. Also if you get a part-time job you can meet a lot of great people that way too and they don't necessarily have to be from your school.
I know how scary it can be forcing yourself to make new friends and meet new people - but the more people you meet and the more opportunities you pounce on you are bound to meet lots and lots of wonderful men!
All I can say is try not to worry about it so much - go out, have fun and find yourself - when you find yourself and you are confident in yourself - guys will just be drawn to you and then you can have the pick of the litter!
Know what you want - and NEVER settle!
Good luck and have fun!!!!
ah.. this sounds kind of pathetic really but i feel like i dont have a huge PASSION for any clubs. clubs on campus are either academic based (and i am in the engineering one), religion based (i have no real conviction to religion though i believe in God), or culture based (like chinese club, latino club etc) and i am already in the ones that apply to me (really just the chinese one haha). and my major is small, so i take the same classes with the same 20-25 people day in and day out. so i feel like my "branching out and meeting new people" pool is getting stale, since i dont see any way to expand myself and meet more, different people! this is probably just my slightly down, mad-at-the-world pessimistic self coming out at the moment, but i am just not too optimistic about meeting new friends (or guys) :/
And you know, for all us married or almost-married folks, there is some excellent advice here. The best marriages are made up of two whole, interesting, confident people with their own interests and hobbies (which sometimes overlap, of course). No one else but you, not even the most loving husband in the world, can make you happy. So go on and find things that make you happy and then get out there and do them.
Okay, I am going to throw this out there knowing it is a rather wacky idea...but here goes.
Try taking a trip that involves some form of physical exertion in the outdoors. And do it alone. I don't know how you feel about camping, etc, but I did a 4 day camping/whitewater rafting trip several years ago. It was scary taking this trip by myself, but we had a great group of people on the trip. I had sooo much fun and it was invigorating to challenge myself physically (paddling a little inflatable canoe through rapids is tough!) and socially (spending four days with the same 15 people). It helped me boost my sense of independence and confidence that I really could handle the stuff that life throws at you.
Good luck and you should definitely know that you WILL find the right person, and it doesn't have to happen now.
Everything you feel is completely normal! You are right, though, you need time to be independent on your own for awhile. Learn to love to be alone. Learn to love your own company. It will help you pick a healthier relationship when you are ready to date!
haha, glad to know this is normal. i know realistically i will likely find someone.. within the next 10 years or so. but right now everything seems impossibly hard and faced with the prospect of going back to school single and to a not-so-desirable pool of guys... isnt making me feel so hot. T minus two weeks! inhale... exhale..
Jades.... things happen for a reason and you need to experience all of it to mature and grow as a person. my advice to my single friends is when you are not looking for it, most times it ends up standing right in front of you and hits you over the head - you just have to let go enough to enjoy the now. ive always thought you have to be happy with yourself to attact the right person to share your life with so sending hugs because a breakup & after effects, even if you know its for the right reasons is still tough
btw, dont diss the not so desirable college guys yet.... even Bill Gates was a woeful geek in his uni days :)
jadedragon - I, too, have always been very dependent upon others for my happiness. Even now, I'm still that way. It's just my personality, but I've been trying very hard these past few years to overcome it. In college, I got engaged to a man and we were together for 3 years. I thought that was IT! But then I started to realize how much "Me" I lost in that relationship. Now that I'm engaged again, it's a daily struggle not to lose myself again.
I've networked at my job, joined the employee kickball league, and have started doing things for myself. Even when FI gets upset that I'm involved in other things, I know that I'm happier when I have my own interests.
Don't worry, you're not being ridiculous at all. Everyone goes through those times when you think you'll never find love again. Love finds YOU again. Take all of the bees' advice and spend some time finding YOU.
Your college probably has an experimental college where you can take a night course in art, photography, dance or something else that might interest you. Also, your college probably has an outdoor service. Ours used to put together trips that you could take with other students that you'd probably otherwise never meet.
You could take a sailing class, rock climbing class, a group hiking trip or a whitewater rafting trip-- all are excellent ways to have fun (and meet people, btw).
There are tons of opportunities out there. You just have to decide which ones are right for you!
i will definitely do a lot more at college this year - i cant believe how much i missed out on! i would miss a lot of events because i just wanted to sit at my apt with the bf, or i would just dismiss them as stupid or boring. but this year im definitely changing that mindset and taking advantage of everything!
it is quite a struggle to learn how to stand on my own feet again. right now im still at home but once i leave for college again in two weeks i will be thrown into the bustling campus.. i hope i can figure out how to be happy there and make new friends. oh, and i am in the same club as the ex so hoping i can also attend those events without wanting to gouge my eyes out :P
ill just try to live my own life and when love comes along.. it comes along.. right? :)
jadedragon - Seriously, try not to fret about not ever meeting "the one!" It will happen when it should. I only was in one serious relationship throughout college, and it didn't last all that long (a little under a year). So, for the most part, I was single throughout, and I wouldn't have it any other way. College is a great time for you to realize who you are as an individual, and to gain a sense of independence. I know that it seems so natural to rely on someone for things, once you get used to doing them on your own, you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish, and how much you don't "need" to have a guy around to complete you.
I had a friend through college who was the serial girlfriend...she would line up a new boyfriend before she broke up with the current one, because she couldn't stand being alone. Then one day, her boyfriend dumped her out of the blue, and she literally did not know what to do with herself. But, she is a strong and intelligent woman, and she quickly figured out that she only needed to depend on herself...and from that point on she has been just great about being single (for now at least!). She does things for herself now! I'm so proud.
In the end, I always think of it this way: your significant other shouldn't be filling in a missing part of you/completing you, they should be ENHANCING your wonderful qualities and making you even better.
I didn't meet my fiance until a year and a half out of college. And seriously, it can happen when you least expect it. We met at the beach when we were walking our dogs...completely random encounter, but it turned into a future for the two of us. The world works in mysterious ways sometimes, and you just have to have faith that there will be someone out there for you...even though you might not know when/where!
I found that I found the people who I enjoy their company the most when I was least looking for it. When you get back to college, go out and enjoy yourself. Stop focusing on finding "the one" and focus on finding yourself! You said that you aren't in many clubs other than the ones that pertain either to your major or your ethnic group. What some others said above is that there are classes and clubs out there that bring some very random people together to learn some things they would have otherwise never tried. Are you athletic at all? Try intramurals! Don't only meet guys, but make some new girlfriends that you can hang out with who don't have boyfriends that they spend all of their time with. That's not to say you have to ditch your friends who do have boyfriends, but defintiely figure out what it is you like to do and try new things. When you're engrossed in one of those things, that's when you'll find someone!
Wow, this is a great thread. I'm so impressed with some of the advice from the PP. What a bunch of intelligent, thoughtful people we have here in the Hive!
I definitely second Oracle's advice about not comparing yourself to others and their journeys through life. You can drive yourself crazy if you spend your life comparing yourself to your friends/family. We all take different paths in our lives and experience different things at different times. It's easier said than done, but you're better off just living your life as it comes, rather than worrying about external time tables (like "I should be married by time I'm x-age". All that does is put pressure on you and stress you out more!
You're young and you can spend your time at college really figuring out what you want out of life and making friends. It's hard to put yourself out there and meet new people, but I think it's also really rewarding. I think it's smart to try as many new things as you can--talk to people who live in your dorm/apartment complex, take some elective classes in a totally different field, check out a club/IM sport/hobby. I can tell you that once you get out of college, it can be a lot harder to meet new friends/potential BFs. I know my friends who are single in their 30's find it more challenging than when we were all in college with a new group of people each school year.
FWIW, I met my husband when I was 18 years old at college freshman orientation. I should say that I met and became friends with him then, as we didn't start dating until almost *9* years later. I can honestly say that I didn't have a romantic interest in him when we met (although I thought he was cute) because we were very different people. Neither of us really knew what we wanted out of life and we both needed time to figure that out. I need to spend time in other relationships and, yes, by myself, in order to figure out who *I* was and what I wanted in my life AND in a partner. We both dated other people, while maintaining our friendship. Eventually, as we became more established as individuals in our lives and careers, we kept getting closer and closer. Eventually, that friendship grew into love and long story short (too late), we got married in May.
I guess the moral of the story is that I think no one can fully know exactly what his/her life will bring every step of the way. IME, you have to really reflect on what you want and be okay with yourself as an individual before you can be ready to be in a relationship/marriage. Personally, I don't like it when people say marriage is a 50/50 compromise or "he/she's my 'other half'". I view marriage as a complete partnership where both people give 100% of their best effort to make it work.
Give yourself time, have fun, make friends and take things as they come. You sound like a smart, together person! :)
"I can tell you that once you get out of college, it can be a lot harder to meet new friends/potential BFs."
eep!
entering into my junior year of college its a little intimidating trying to make new friends since most already have established cliques and groups. but i will go out a lot more, join things i used to think were dumb or a waste of time. i really need to let go of the voice in the back of my mind that says ill never find a potential bf .. and just do things because *i* want to do them. i am just scared that i am running out of time - there is nobody so far i even remotely am attracted to at college, then after college, it just gets harder! i have to admit though, adjusting to no nightly phone calls or someone to eat with, someone to go to events with, it kind of hard. i find myself thinking "this would be so much more fun if i had a bf to share it with"
i am working on it, i promise :) thanks for listening to my rants in readjusting. i really was a "serial dater"
and also.. i know i am not ready to be in a relationship anyway. i am still at 50% - and feel as though i have been that way for the last few years, always depending on someone else (bf) to make the other 50%. but like jessie and many say.. i need to be 100% before i move forward. i just need to stop assessing everyone as a potential bf and being discouaged, and just enjoy life.. and when it happens, it happens!
I used to never think I would find someone either! I was single all through college except for a few stints with guys from other schools. But low and behold, it turns I met my FI my sophomore year of college, when he was dating my residence assistant! While we were the same major and had the same classes, I never talked to him too much. Until right after I graduated in December 2007!
There IS someone for you. But right now, just focus on you time. Get through school, enjoy being 20 and know that there will be someone. The best ones come along when you aren't expecting anything to happen!
i read over this thread over and over today and its finally starting to sink in. its hard learning to be happy on your own, and not because of someone else. but then i always think, it would be *that* much more fun with a SO
its getting there!
eep! date change, one week to go! still not ready to see him; not ready to take the "leap" into college life again... alone. 7 days to prepare :)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| Brielle | 31 |
| funkymunky85 | 26 |
| beargoose | 24 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| rebwana | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| his chippymunk | 23 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| funkymunky85 | 9 |
| ebotlsrm | 5 |
| Lyndzo | 4 |
| mightywombat | 3 |
| AshleyR83 | 3 |
| rebwana | 3 |
| jules28 | 3 |
| sara_tiara | 2 |
| bookworm88 | 2 |
| KatyElle | 2 |
hi bees!
so i apologize because whenever i post to weddingbee, it doesnt seem to be about weddings - but it just seems like such a positive environment to draw information and comfort from.
so without going into too much detail (i am ashamed and embarrassed of the way i acted haha) me and my boyfriend recently ended our relationship. now i am learning how to be single and read:alone again. i have read many threads about marrying too young, etc and things of that nature which made me realize so many things and get so much comfort from.
so here goes - i know this sounds ridiculous, but i am scared of never meeting another guy i like enough to even be my bf. i am in college right now, and every guy i meet (i attend an ivy league and yes the guys here are very intelligent but not very.. desirable to say the least :P) i know it sounds silly because i am only 20, but.. i cant even begin to imagine how to meet people outside of college. how do people meet so perfectly? and even in college i dont know if ill ever meet another bf-type guy.
i have also been very dependant on people, either a female best friend, my mom, or a bf. i have to learn how to be independent, to grow on my own and to learn what i want and dont want. but the prospect of going back to school newly single and alone (and my friends are mutual friends and i really dont want to run into him!) is terrifying. any advice on how to learn to be happy and single, and strong? :)
i know i have a lot of maturing to do. but just reading what some older bees that have "been there, done that" makes me feel much much better when at the moment, i feel very much hopeless and alone. thanks for listening :)