Post # 1
I’m a nanny, and tonight I am watching a 2 year old and a 4 month old. I was instructed to give the baby a bath. I told the mom I was a bit nervous because I haven’t bathed a young baby in 7 years. No big deal, just like riding a bike, right?
In the normal tub sits a smaller baby tub. Inside the baby tub is a mesh bed for the baby to lay on. I take 5 minutes getting the water just right. I put the baby in. We start splashing. 60 seconds later, she pees. Fine. I can handle this.
I empty the tub while the baby is still in there and fill it back up with water. This time I err on the side of caution, and the water is a bit cold. Things can’t get much worse, right? (You can see this one coming a mile away.) Yup. She shits. Not just a cute little baby turd but a mound of “I haven’t pooped in 48 hours and I’m breastfed” mush. All over.
So as I attempt to hold a slippery, poop covered baby in one hand, while I dump the baby tub full of poop with the other… except the regular tub is slow to drain. So the baby is still pooping and is ankle deep in waste.
The tub finally drains and I use the faucet as a makeshift bidet to clean the baby’s cracks and crevices. I start to rinse out the big tub, the little tub, and the mesh bed. Things can’t possibly get any worse, right? WRONG! Just then, the 2 year old comes in, sees the mess, smells the poop, starts gagging, and vomits up a delicious dinner of mac ‘n cheese.
So now I have a shit covered baby, a 2 tubs with poop splash marks everywhere, a mesh bed stained with poop, and a tub clogged with tonight’s dinner.
I love my job!
Post # 2
hahahaahaha…. oh my gosh! I’m so sorry but man were you right! Doesn’t get much worse and damn that’s funny 🙂 I’m so sorry you had to deal with that and so glad you got a laugh out of it in the end!
Post # 3
Aaaaaaaand that confirms my choice to be childless lol
Post # 4
I had a stretch of about a week where my baby would poop in the tub during her bath every single time. I started to really fear giving her a bath! Luckily nobody was barfing in the background.
Post # 5
TheMrsTulip: Great story! I hope the night got better!
Post # 6
Oh.my.god. I hope there is a giant glass of wine waiting for you at the end of the night.
Post # 7
I saw the pee and poo but not the barf! You poor thing! Gross haha
My little brother used to mega-poo every time he got in the bath too. So funny since it was mom and not my unhelpful 13yr old self cleaning it!
Post # 8
I’m sorry I laughed so freaken hard at this. I have an (almost) 2 year old and a (almost) six month old. I have definitely had similar experiences, so it was a good dose of schadenfreude to read this!
Post # 9
Thanks, everyone. At that point, there was nothing left to do but laugh!
I would LOVE to enjoy a glass of wine, but I am still at work and tomorrow starts for me in 8 hours.
Come on, Friday!
Post # 10
Do babies usually poop when they get cold?
LOL…I know nothing about babies but I feel like this is important information needed to avoid this scenario.
Post # 11
ClaudiaKishi: TBH, I don’t really know! I wouldn’t think so.
Post # 12
TheMrsTulip: Hahahaha! I laugh but that’s terrible, poor you! YIKES!!!
Post # 13
TheMrsTulip: and it’s way worse when it’s someone else’s kids’ poop and puke! Sorry for the rough night, but you got a funny story out of it!
Post # 14
TheMrsTulip: Sorry. Laughing here, but also wishing you a GREAT Friday! C’ome on Friday!!
Post # 15
lol!!! thanks for the laugh! i’m sorry 🙂