Weddingbee boards

I hate a bad DJ and I'm not so much talking about the music they play. I've been to weddings where the DJ calls someone by the wrong name (someone that is in the bridal party) or the DJ that didn't understand what the bouquet toss was about. It just makes me cringe. This is their job, they need to get the basics down.

I also hate some of the comments people make at weddings to engaged couples. For example, shortly after my husband and I had gotten engaged we went to his cousin's wedding and his aunt told me not to have a big wedding, to just elope. I get that my husbands aunt and her daughter, the bride, had just done a lot of planning and it was stressful and all, but I had been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl and it meant a lot to me and it REALLY ticked me off when she said that. If you asked I'm sure a lot of mothers would say something like "Don't ever give birth!" right after having a baby, but it would seem inappropriate to say to someone who just got pregnant and they can't really expect all other women to stop having babies because they had a hard time of it. I guess it's not apples to apples, but hopefully it makes sense.

At that same wedding I got a lot of comments like "Are you taking notes on what you want at your wedding?" which I guess got me annoyed because I wanted a really unique wedding and had tons of ideas saved already and they seemed to be suggesting I take her ideas.

Oh, and finally huge bridal parties. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't be saying this because there are probably a lot of people on here that do this, but it's just my opinion - please don't take it personally. I think when you have tons of bridesmaids and groomsmen it looks silly, like 20% of the guest list is up there, why not just invite everyone to stand by your side? Maybe people have so many friends they just can't choose, I dunno. Also, from reading the boards it seems like the more people you have the more drama there is. You always wind up with 3 pregnant bridesmaids that wont fit in a dress and 1 or 2 drama queens, mixed with the person you can't stand but had to have because she's your FSIL or what have you.

Oh, and I agree with the cake smashing too. Awful! 

Most of the weddings I have been to have been for close friends, so for me my biggest pet peeve is being used as slave labor at a wedding. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for chipping in and friends helping friends. There are reasonable limits, though - a couple of times I have traveled a fair distance to a wedding, only to have the bride in a panic, asking friends to stay up late making favors, glueing flowers to an arch, setting up the reception site, etc.

That aside, I think as long as weddings have good booze, food, and music, all the rest comes down to personal preference.  

Wow, I'm going to look so horrible because my list is really long:

*Cash bar!

*Cheesy dance music, whether it's an over-eager band leader or a bad DJ

*Cheap favors with the bride and grooms names on them--who needs a silly crystal dolphin or a koozie or something like that.  And I'm not too fond of candy bars either.  But I do like things you can use--like fans--or tasty edible things in nice packaging.  Or just don't use them!  No favor is MUCH better than a bad favor.

*Special dances that are too long:  bride/groom, bride/dad, groom/mom, etc.  I LOVE when the bride/groom invite other couples to join them at a good interval, and when the parents' dances invite all of the kids/parents to dance too (I have lots of friends who are very close to their parents, and it's always a special moment).

*Waiting for dinner after the ceremony!--into this goes brides who take too long to get pictures, receiving lines, etc.

*Annoying photographers (who disrupt the flow of the party to "get the picture")

*Ugly bridesmaids dresses that you can tell the bridesmaids hate to be wearing

*Outside weddings with no fans or shade.  what if guests burn easily, or are elderly, or just hate being hot?  

*Parents who take up too much attention.  I went to one wedding where the MOTG was wearing a dress with a huge slit and shaking all she had on the dance floor.  Everyone was talking about it the next day. 

*BAD FOOD!  Seriously folks, the typical saying should not be, "this isn't so bad for wedding food."  That's what tastings are for! 

Okay, that's my rant.  I'm sorry folks--I'm a nice bride, I promise! 

@ GeorgiaPeach - I totally feel your pain. I just got married and the dancing was a bit painful to watch. There were a few times when it was just me and 1 or 2 others out on the dance floor and they felt like the longest songs ever! I don't like dancing in public much myself, but I usually make a point to get out there at least a few times at other people's weddings. 

@mowi322:  For me, I think it's all about the cohesiveness of the wedding, like LeiAnn said.  I've been to a few weddings where they spent a million dollars on the flowers and the dress and the fancy food...and then ask guests to pay for their drinks because of "cost."  I think girls get so caught up in "their wedding" that they can sometimes forget about the comfort of their guests.  Many people drive (or fly) long distances and pay for hotels and gifts to go to a wedding to support the bride and groom--the least the bride and groom can do is buy them a drink.

Beer and wine is a lovely option--rarely do people need more.  I think people resort to the cash bar because they think some people will "miss" the hard stuff, but I don't think people do, especially at weddings.  Plus, you can do some AMAZING stuff (including sangria and champagne cocktails and microbrews) with beer and wine.  I just think the cash bar is a bit of a cop out.

@mowi322 - about cash bar, as some others have said, I think it's sometimes about whether they really can afford it but spend the money on something that maybe is not about the guests' comfort... like a friend of mine recently went to a wedding where the bride was wealthy and spent thousands on her dress and thousands more on decorations, but all they served the guests (at what was pretty much a destination wedding as they held it in a random town that neither side's fam or friends was from) was Ritz crackers with dip, veggies, and a cash bar. You could just tell they didn't think much about the guests.

And actually, it might just be me, but I don't agree that about having drinks taken care of at parties--it seems to me like if you get an invite to a party, esp. a fancy one like a wedding, that it's expected that you shouldn't have to pay for things once you get there, unless it's made clear beforehand (ie a potluck). 

I'd say that my pet peeve about weddings is what I was talking about earilier--it's understandable if not everyone can afford to throw a huge fancy party, of course, but you have to factor in making all the people who came a long way to celebrate with you comfortable and helping them to have a good time. If you spend your entire budget on say, your fancy dress and decor, and leave none for food/drink, that's not cool, I think!