Post # 1
Hi ladies, I need some suggestions. I’m lutheran, the FI is Jewish and he seems to think all male guests should wear a Kippah. However I have reminded him over and over again that my family, 1) has no idea what that is, 2) what to do with it and 3) have no idea that it shows a sign of respect. Anyways, after a long discussion he still wants to order enough for all the males, just in case. blah blah blah
SOoo how should I have them displayed so that my family will not feel obligated to take one??? Just put them in a basket, next to the programs? Post a little sign next to them saying ‘if you wish’. ha- I have no idea. I’m probably making a big deal about this little detail.
Post # 3
I think the sign with the basket is a great idea. It gives people the option if they feel like wearing it but doesn’t make them feel pressured into wearing them. And if you want to keep the sign short and sweet, you could add the meaning of the keppah in the program.
Post # 4
I would say it depends on where the ceremony is taking place. If it is in a place of worship, (temple/synagog), then yes everyone should wear one as a sing of respect for the place of worship. If it’s elsewhere than it should be optional.
I’m in the same situation (FI is Catholic), and we’re setting the kippahs in a basket for anyone who wants one but did not order enough for every man.
Post # 5
We plan on having enough for just over 1/4 of our guests. Some of my side might wear them but in all likelyhood, it will be mostly his side. We might do closer to half… but we will see. Buying enough for everybody is a bit much I think. I don’t want to spend money on too many of them!
Post # 6
We’re planning on ordering kippot for most people…my fiance is converting so his family isn’t Jewish, but mine is. And I want people to have the option of wearing a kippah, especially since it’s a Jewish ceremony.
The wedding isn’t taking place in a synagogue, so there’s no NEED for one. Though, I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Though I think my main motivation is that they have kippot in our wedding colors which is really exciting. 🙂
And for your thought–I think a sign is a nice idea, maybe with a BRIEF explanation? Like, a kippah/yamulke (or whatever word you want to use) is traditionally worn in religious Jewish services. Please take one if you’d like.
OOOOH…and just to put it out there…kippot aren’t restricted to just men. The synagogue I was raised in had an emphasis on egalitarianism, and women were strongly encouraged and often expected to wear kippot. So, just something to consider as well. 🙂
Post # 7
Thank you for the replies so far. The ceremony is in an atrium of an old historic courthouse, so in this case maybe I’ll reduce the order since its not a place of worship.
Post # 8
i wouldn’t say it is disrepectful, but it might be nice to have them anyways. we always have gentiles at our passover seder every year and they like to wear kippahs
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
We ordered more than enough – many women took them too, as a keepsake!
Post # 10
As a non-Jew (and non-man, for that matter), I wouldn’t think its weird at all. I know synagogues I’ve visited usually provide them, and though I’ve never been to a Jewish wedding, I’ve seen pictures of the baskets all the time on wedding websites. I don’t think non-Jews would be all that confused or offended or anything.
Post # 11
I think most non-Jews know exactly what a kippah is and wouldn’t even be offended by it. Furthermore, a small sign explaining the tradition to the non-Jewish guests would further alleviate any confusion and if they are religious at all they may still feel honored to be given a novel way to show honor.
My mother grew up in NJ and had many Jewish friends and was eventually invited to many Jewish weddings. The kippahs served kind of as a “favor” for the guests…. think about what’s done for bar/bat mitzvahs as well…. usually there are kippah in coordinating colors of the child’s theme. Bottom line: I really don’t think anyone will be offended.
Post # 12
we ordered 100–we were expecting around 175 guests (out of 215 invited), and had about 150 come. our wedding was in a synagogue and we’re both Jewish, as are many of our guests…and we had SO many extra! if i could do it again i’d have ordered like 60 or 75
and for displaying, we had them in a basket next to our programs at the entrance. people can take it if they want but don’t have to. it’s the same as in a synagogue–there are always some extra near the sanctuary doors in case someone forgot to bring theirs.
Post # 13
We’re Jewish, but since we have friends that aren’t we had some that weren’t worn. I didn’t expect them to. I think the basket and a sign is a good idea, and maybe you can say what they are in the program so people will understand better. We just put ours out in a bowl.
Post # 13
First of all, kippot is not something “only worn in synagogues”. Kippot should be worn by ALL Jewish men, as a reminder to them that God is above them. The reason why Women do not wear kippahs is because women are generally more spiratual and do not need that reminder. The women that like to wear a kippah do it as an “equality” thing, which really doesn’t even make sense if you think about it. It’s actually putting yourself as a woman down by saying “i need this reminder”…
As for weddings, it wouldn’t hurt to order a lttle extra just in case, ususally sites have “minimum orders” anyway, so it really would not be more money, unless you have a 200+ person wedding.
Have a sign or have an usher hand them out.
Post # 14
I don’t know what that is. I wouldn’t be offended if there wasn’t one for me or my fiance. Honestly, since I don’t know what it is and we are not religious at all, neither of us would take one if offered to us, either.
Post # 15
- Wedding: Smith Barn at Brooksby Farm
We plan to have a basket with a sign – like you, many of our guests are not Jewish, so we want to make it clear that they should feel comfortable wearing one whether they are Jewish or not, and also that it is not offensive either way. I borrowed this wording from another bee on the boards and I plan to make a sign with something like it:
“The Kippah (yarmulke) is the traditional Jewish head covering. Regardless of whether you are Jewish, you may wear one if you are comfortable doing so.”