Post # 1
I don’t think I’ve gained weight, but I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant five times at work since the wedding. One was accompanied by a stomach pat. Another one wasn’t actually an ask, it was a “No no no! That’s dangerous if you’re expecting!” when I tried to pick up a couple of boxes of dictionaries.
I don’t know what’s up. It’s not a cultural thing according to another coworker who got married around the same time as me. No one’s asked her.
I do dress a little frumpy at work because I’m on the busty side and I work in a middle school, so I try to de-emphasize my chest, but I’ve been dressing like this since before the wedding.
Is there any way to respond other than “No, apparently I just need to go on a diet”?
Post # 2
Ughhhh! What is wrong with people?! That’s so rude and awkward. I’d probably say something to make them feel bad like “I’m not pregnant, but thanks for making me feel fat!”
Post # 3
People are a**holes. I got that question a few months back from our school secretary, and others a few years ago. I just said, No and moved on. But, I’ve always wanted to say, No, are you? Or something like the previous poster said just to make them feel bad. I’m sorry, just ignore the idiots.
Post # 4
Cory_loves_this_girl: honeysag79: I’ve only managed to shame one person. The others just laughed like they thought I was joking with them.
Post # 5
Unless someone is about to pop out a baby any second (or they’ve told me they’re pregnant), I never mention something like that. I would be absolutely mortified if I said something like, “when are you due??” And she wasn’t preg. I would die.
Post # 6
Jabberwocky: What a rude question! What was worse (for me) was I sometimes got the question after the birth of my children, when I was struggling with a stretched stomach.
Because it’s rude, a little rudeness back is ok, to shut them up. Here are some suggestions:
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“No, are you?”
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
Jabberwocky: Slap ’em! They will stop eventually and you can have some fun too.
Or you can be sarcastic. “Yes, but please, please dont tell my husband. We have not had sex in 3 months!”
Post # 8
Tanleggedjuliet: Lol, I can’t slap them. My husband thinks it’s hilarious though, so I do slap his hand if it moves anywhere near my stomach.
Post # 9
A friend of mine kept getting asked if she was pregnant, and we ultimately decided it was because of the baby doll and a line style tops she likes to wear combined with the “skinny girl slouch” where when slouching, its more of a hips foreward sort of stance? Paris Hilton stands this way a lot
Anyway, either way its so rude to suggest anyone is pregnant. Theres no way of knowing and its one of those comments that can make someone feel really bad, either because of body image or because they might be trying to get pregnant and having trouble
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
Jabberwocky: LOL! Still a thought.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
My family thought I was pregnant because I was “glowing”. I was like nope, just happy. Could that be a reason? Either way so rude to assume.
Post # 13
atreyu547: Maybe? I don’t know.
I forgot a detail that makes it even weirder. Two of the times I was asked were at a work party that included lots of beer, raw squid, and raw horse sashimi. Wtf, guys?
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
That’s SO OBNOXIOUS! I don’t have advice, just empathy. Ugh!
Post # 15
I’ve made it a policy never to ask if someone is pregnant unless I see a baby crowning. That is just the RUDEST question. I was asked, too – and this was years ago when I was awfully thin. The only explanation I could come up with was that it was the babydoll style top I was wearing (and was supposedly in fashion). I don’t have any snappy come-backs, although if you mentioned to someone, “We’re having… trouble in that department” I would bet word would get around and no one would ask again. Teachers often gossip worse than their students do (I know, as I work in the school, too).