(Closed) Keep your boob inside.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
3377 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you’re being totally reasonable! I know this is a really sensitive topic no matter what, and I have no issue with BFing, but PUT A SHAWL OVER YOURSELF! It’s not hard! It’s naturaly, it’s beautiful, yes, but not everyone wants to see your boob. And at a wedding? It’s just flat out disrespectful. Especially since it’s a more intimate affair. 

I think you need to have a serious talk with her and be like “listen, I love you and support you, however I don’t think my guests would feel comfortable if you just started whipping out your boob in the middle of our vows and so on.” Make this about the GUESTS, not you, then she may not have such a hard time with it.

If she’s still giving you hell, maybe purchase her a shawl and be like “Oh I bought this for you because I know you wanted to breastfeed Baby at our wedding! This way you don’t have to buy one.”

 

Post # 4
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

She’s being overly granola crunchy hippie lady.

 I find it totally ok to tell her she needs to be covered during the ceremony. You didnt ask her to not breastfeed at all, you spent a lot of money on her and have bent over backwards to make this work for her, and honestly if she was a good friend and a good crunchy should know that compromise is a beautiful thing.

Post # 6
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You can barley see anything when a women is breast feeding the babys head is in the way pumping is a pain in the ass.  She may change her mind by 11 months don’t worry about it until closer to the date

Post # 8
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I personally think you are being reasonable. As a guest, I would be slightly uncomfortable by some woman whipping her boob out in the middle of the ceremony to feed her child. I agree with PP, buy her a shawl and make it about the guests, not you. Or see if you can put her in an area of the venue where she may not be directly in the line of the photographer.

Post # 9
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, breast feeding is such a personal issue. I’m not a mom but I have recently been around frineds who are breastfeeding and have no problem doing it in public. I think you need to stay out of it and let her feed her baby where/when she is comfortable. Maybe I’ve been living in Europe too long but it’s really not a big deal. Everyone has nipples and I’m sure you won’t have any in your photos as baby covers the nipple anyway. I also imagine the photographers can be told of your wishes not to have photos of breastfeeding and oblige. Also, you have so much time for her plans to change. My friend’s baby gave up breast feeding at 4 months even though mom wanted to continue longer so who knows if this will even be ab issue by the time of your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
12568 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s acceptable to tell her to step out if she needs to breast feed.  It’s weird, and her pulling her boob out in the middle of your ceremony is definitely going to take the focus of you and your FI…

Post # 12
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

@the_future_mrs:  I am not offended at all. I just wanted to point out that this is a very sensitive subject to some people. 

Post # 13
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just be honest with her but remember she may get upset breastfeeding is a touchy subject just look at past threads on breastfeeding.

Post # 14
Member
13883 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont think it is unreasonable to ask her to cover up, even for the sake of your guest.  I doubt it would show up in pictures if that is your main concern though.  The photographers would likely be focused on getting pictures of YOU and maybe just a snap or two of guests during the ceremony… which from the albums I see, those pictures dont make it in there anyways.

Post # 16
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pinkshoes:  Maybe the photog can photoshop a shawl on her lol

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